Danny and Lauren

Danny and Lauren chapter 1

Danny couldn’t believe this was happening, not just in his dreams, not just in his fantasies, but for real, he leant back against the bill board, an advert for the new terminator film, he felt the soft chilling air brush gently against his hair, and throw the scent of the after shave that he had applied in excess to his thin neck. Then he saw her, Lauren Parker, a girl from his drama class, the very definition of beauty, she stood at just an inch shorter then Danny, her legs were long and thin, her curves were perfectly defined, her behind was lean, and pushed her clothes out at the back and her breasts were rounded and ample, especially for a girl as thin as Lauren, filling her C cup bra completely, though she was not underweight for that matter. But above all other aspects of her sexy body was her face, her blonde layered hair caressing it like a frame on a piece of art, her eyes were an ocean blue, her eyelashes emphasising them like beacons on a cliff, her skin soft and perky and her lips a cherry blossom red, and somehow defining her perfect crystal white, gleaming teeth.
See Danny had taken an instant lust towards Lauren, but it was when he began to talk to her that he realised, more then lust, he loved Lauren, she was sweet and kind, though she was shy, to say the least, she was easily the prettiest girl he knew, and not just a tart with make-up, no, her beauty was natural, she wore make up, but only very little, she didn’t need to, she was perfect. The only thing that Danny couldn’t understand about Lauren was her lack of confidence, she would find it hard to take compliments and was extremely shy in crowded places, but Danny didn’t care.
It had taken Danny nearly three months to finally ask Lauren out, but in those months he talked to her, heard about her problems, gave her a shoulder to cry on, especially when her Nan had died, and got to know her, and she trusted him, so when he asked her to come to the cinema with him she jumped at the chance, and asked him with her sweet, almost infantile voice,
“So, are we going out as friends, or are you asking me out on a date”, Danny had simply blushed, he opened his mouth to speak, but no noise came out, then, suddenly Lauren leant forwards and kissed him on the lips, her tongue entering his mouth and seductively tickling his, he returned the kiss, passionately and meaningfully, and was disappointed when she pulled away and simply whispered in his ear,
“So, pick me up at eight then”.
They walked into the building together, the cinema was fairly new, built up on the riverside, and not many people seemed to go there, Danny walked over to the desk and picked up their tickets and after a few more minutes at the counter walked in with assorted treats, including a large coke for each of them.
The movie started and they watched in awe, it was a horror movie and the tension was building, there were only a few other people in the whole room, and Danny found it hard to concentrate on the movie, his mind was elsewhere, on Lauren, and his eyes were too, he could tell she was scared by the film, she was hunched up in her chair and her beautiful lips were slightly parted and trembling, only minutely, but still noticeably, Danny looked at her and when his eyes met her crotch he thought, oddly, it seemed a little bit, not much but slightly more puffy then it should be, but he quickly ignored this and put it down to a combination of his imagination and the fact that she was sitting down.
When the film ended they walked out of the screening room, hand in hand and walked back to Danny’s car, an original mini cooper, metallic blue with a union flag draped in acrylic across the roof. He leant towards her, and she leant towards him, they kissed, even more passionately then before, but this time it was not ended so prematurely, she took one hand and placed in gently in the back of his long brown hair, and he took his hand and grabbed her breast, oh how amazing that was to him, they rubbed closer together and he took his other hand and brushed it softly through her soft, luxurious hair, then down her side, and finally he reached her ass, he massaged it gently, but something didn’t feel right, there was something puffy and squishy, he took his thumb and as subtly as he could slipped it into the back of her jeans, then, in a split moment she jolted back, pulling away and her face rapidly turned a crimson red.
“Are, are, are y… y… y… you wearing a nappy”, Danny stumbled, without a single word escaping her mouth a single long tear glided slowly down Laurens face, and suddenly it occurred to Danny why she had been so shy, why she was afraid of big crowds,
“sshhhh, sshhhh, shhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, calm down, I’m not going to tell anyone about this baby, come here, you just surprised me is all, I don’t think anything differently of you babes”, Danny whispered softly, sweetly into Lauren’s ear, all the while rubbing circles with one hand on her back and with the other gently stroking up and down on her nappied bottom, she leant her head onto his shoulders and slowly quietened down, softly sniffling as she put her arms round her lovely, understanding boyfriend.
“Do you wand me to take you home now”, Danny asked her, a little embarrassed for Lauren in her current predicament, to which she answered in almost a grumble,
“My parents aren’t home, do you want to come too, I understand if you don’t want to now”, and Danny stared lovingly into Lauren’s eyes and answered,
“Baby, I love you more then I can say, you know that, and a nappy’s not going to change that, of course I want to go with you” and at that they kissed once more.
As they were driving home Danny finally asked the question that Lauren had been expecting him to ask all evening,
“So, uh, how comes you gotta wear a nappy, I mean do you need them, or do you just like the, I mean either way it’s fine by me, I just wanna know is all”
“Well, it’s kinda embarrassing, but I kinda need them, I mean I have for the past six months and it’s got worse since Grandma died, I was so close to her you know”, a look of bitter sadness crossed her sweet, innocent eyes, and her bottom lip began to tremble.
They arrived at her house and she opened the door with her key, on which a floral design was printed on a black base, and they walked inside, Danny closing the door behind him as he entered.
“So I guess you wanna go get changed” said Danny a little bit embarrassed.
“Come with me”, she pleaded softly.
So they walked upstairs and into one of the rooms, a large bathroom, Lauren led the way and laid flat a changing mat, some baby oil, some baby wipes and some baby powder, of which Danny could still smell from previous use, then she opened a cupboard underneath the sink, and pulled out a pack of drynites (goodnights if your American), she took one out of the pack and laid it on the floor next to the changing mat, which Danny noticed was far larger then a normal one, she threw off her shirt and unclipped her bra, letting it drop down to the floor, Danny felt a force against his boxers and it was pressing harder by the second, he stared at her beautiful breasts, her nipples erect and emphasising the shape and size of her breasts, and soon began throwing his own clothes to the floor, until he was standing in only his boxers, with a very obvious extrusion poking through, she slowly and seductively unclipped the buckle of her jeans and allowed them to slip slowly, gently, sexily down the side of her legs, revealing a very yellow pull up like nappy, with a pink flower design over a white background, she kicked off her jeans and once more the couple locked lips and brushed meaningfully against each other, Danny pushing his now full erection into her nappy as they did, his hand squeezing tenderly around her breast, and the other now cupping her bottom, tight and strongly, she moved he mouth away and began to kiss all the way up Danny’s neck, and then they kissed again, Lauren took her hand and grabbed at Danny’s penis through his boxers, which was now pushing full force against the fabric.
She lay down on the floor and looked up dreamily into Danny’s eyes, and said to him.
“If you take my nappy off there’s a reward for you”, giving him a cheeky look and holding a condom between her thumb and index finger, she handed it to him and he quickly, but carefully tore open the wrapper, dropped his boxers to the ground revealing his hairy manhood, and being sure to pinch onto the end of the condom he gently pulled it down his shaft.
He knelt down and ripped the sides of Laurens pull up off quickly, excitedly, and discarded the nappy, tossing it aside, he then took a baby wipe, and wiped it around her bottom, this too he discarded, before taking out another, and caressing her thighs and her crotch, her mound was shaven, with not a single hair to be seen , then he poured a generous splash of baby oil over her crotch, taking special notice of her vagina, which he could see was exciting her, and then he took the baby powder, which he playfully squeezed over her, she grabbed his sides and he pushed his penis powerfully into her hungry vagina, they moved their hips in rhythm with each other, the rhythm getting faster, faster, he was the first to let out a scream, and then, seconds later she followed suit, and within moments they were both engaged in a spontaneous orgasm, and soon they followed into a sweet, beautiful climax. They lay there, side by side, and they kissed and hugged. Soon though, when Danny had recollected himself he got up and disposed of the condom, putting it inside the yellow saturated nappy, which he rolled up along with the baby wipes which he also placed inside and tossed them into the bin, which he noticed was full of similar products, although he also saw what looked to be baby nappies, not pull ups but actual nappies, but large enough to fit a small adult, Danny had heard of these, but never actually seen one before, then he proceeded to pull the new drynite onto her beautiful body, stood her up and gave her a playful pat on the back, she walked out the bathroom, still half naked, and while in the doorway said in a babyish voice “I’m a big kid now” before skipping to her bedroom across the hall.

To be continued, in time.

Danny and Lauren

A fairly good begining, but stiill a little generic.
It does show promise though, so keep on trying

Danny and Lauren

Sorry, not quite sure what you actually mean by generic, but I think I can see what you’re getting at (sort of)

Danny and Lauren

I haven’t read your story in detail, partly because it was hard to read without spaces between paragraphs (not just returns, but a whole blank line- text for reading online/onscreen should be formatted in a different way to printed matter). Mostly, whenever you would have used a return for printed text you should use a whole line space for onscreen text.

I also noticed that your sentences tended to have a lot of clauses of three to six words separated by commas. That comes across to me as a rather breathy delivery (since a comma is where you would usually pause when reading aloud). If it’s only four or five clauses it’s not so bad, but when it’s ten or twelve as in your writing, it becomes quite hard to read. I think it might help if you made the sentences shorter.

Otherwise, I thought it was well written, and what I pointed out above is fairly minor and (IMO) relatively easy to fix, but worth it for the added readability. The dialogue was natural and the characters had life and dimension. I didn’t read the sex scene in detail 'cause they’re not my thing.

I think it’s a bit early to say if the plot is generic or not, it could turn out to be like many other ABDL stories, but it’s written better than many of them, at least, so I would read more.

Oh, and I’m guilty of the whole comma splicing thing too, as my last sentence of the paragraph above illustrates.