Cutiepie In The Land Of The 50 foot tall Fire Breathing Elmos: a bedtime story

Author’s note: I do not own, know or even think of owning or knowing Elmo. This that I do is a labor of love, or random spoutings of a demented yet creative mind, or both. Hope you and You enjoy it =) bl

Once upon a time, much like this one with all the
days,hours,minutes,seconds and so on, there was a curious little baby named Cutiepie. He was a very happy baby but a curious one , much like a certain monkey, cept he didn’t live with a man who had a fetish for wearing all yellow, even a hat. Cutiepie was of course a baby , always wearing cute baby clothes and diapers and carrying stuffies all around, especially by one paw of that stuffy so that he dragged as well as carried em. He had a very special stuffy of a Mommy Tiger named Melanie. She was his special stuffy friend who came with him on all kinds of adventures. His Mommy could barely pry the two of them apart even at the dinner table. Cutie here always wanted Melanie at the table with him,and would have it no other way, unless Mommy wanted a riot on her hands.

One day ,Cutiepie was crawlin over past the nearby testing facility for NASA at Langley Field. There happened to be a big old rocket ship waiting there, with a compartment just small enough for baby to fit inside. Hmm thought cutiepie, why don’t i take a quick peek? No one ever know and my curiosity is makin me crazys…or is that my diapee rash, ah well.

Cutiepie went closer and closer to the rocket ship and crawled up the ladder, past the sleeping guard, who was sleeping because since this is a beddybye time story, being alert and armed is not an option. He was armed with a cream pie, but there was just one problem. The guard already ate his weapon. So he wasn’t even armed with that.

Anyways, Cutiepie crawled closer and got inside the rocket. Now the thing was this rocket actually was the kind that activated when the door was shut, but what were the odds of that he thought.

Poor Cutie! The door slammed shut and the rocket took off propelling him into space and propelling messies into his didees from the scare….or that couldv’e just been the lunch of spinach and strained prunes he had earlier. The rocket traveled for what seemed like miles and miles , and even more miles than baby could count, which wasnt much beyond 20. It finally landed on this strange world which was colored red and seemed to have fur covering it. Little did anyone know this was actually the lost world of Tic-kel-mee. Cutiepie crawled cautiously out, cursing (since Mommy couldnt hear) the fact he didnt have Mommy or her diapy bag , as he was feelin mighty sticky and stinky.

He was just about to see if NASA equipped this rocket the way that they usually did for astronauts, diapees that is, when there was a booming voice which said “ELMO WANTS TO PLAYYY”. The speaiker then revealed itself to be a giant red furry monster, who Cutiepie guessed must have been named Elmo. He cooed at the monster but it just said “ELMO WANTS TO PLAY” again , and didnt seem to understand baby speak. When Cutie didnt respond further , a jet of flame shot out of the monsters mouth, nearly singing the white tiger Melanie. Cutiepie was not happy with this, as nobody but nobody messes with Melanie. He then wished and received…a mk 37 flame thrower, and proceeded to “flame” the Giant Elmo. The monster shrieked , screamed and spouted numbers and letters in its dying throes, then fell crash smash on the ground.

Cutiepie paused. Where there was one there was bound to be more, so it was best to be prepared. He ignored the growing itching and still smelling of his bottom, and pushed on, finding the nest at last on the other side of the ridge of this peculiar furry planet. He then wished for an air strike by Imperial Tie Fighters and Bombers, who proceeded to drop the space equivalent of napalm on these hideous creations. Cutiepie reflected on this…whatever they think of this retaliation, they sure wont be “tickled” he thought. It was now time to try to get back. But how? The rocket apparently used up its last fuel, and it couldnt take off without the door being shut, which happened to have fallen off and was swallowed by the sand after falling. He wished he was back in his crib with Mommy and then just as he was about to think he would be stucked here forever….he was back in the crib. Mommy asked him, so where have you been silly Cutiepie? To which he replied. “i beens boldly goin nowhere any baby has gone before Mommy…or wants to ever again” . =)


Re: Cutiepie In The Land Of The 50 foot tall Fire Breathing Elmos: a bedtime story

Ya know peeps. comments are welcome. I’m not shy. Please tell me what I’m doing right or wrong. How else am I gonna improve as a writer after all? :wink:

Re: Cutiepie In The Land Of The 50 foot tall Fire Breathing Elmos: a bedtime story

You called it in your author’s note: This definitely reads like random spouting, rather than a coherent story. It has no rhyme or reason whatsoever.

Re: Cutiepie In The Land Of The 50 foot tall Fire Breathing Elmos: a bedtime story

Tommy, never promised rhyme and I never had reason to begin with :wink: Still , I admit I might want to rethink my next story as slightly more coherent touche. Oh well , for every Dark Tower, there is always a DeadZone , to use King references.

Re: Cutiepie In The Land Of The 50 foot tall Fire Breathing Elmos: a bedtime story

I’m intrigued by the absurdist sensibility, but this doesn’t make for a complete - or coherent - story. Also, what’s wrong with The Dead Zone? I would think Dreamcatcher or From a Buick 8 are weaker Stephen King offerings, but to each their own.

Re: Cutiepie In The Land Of The 50 foot tall Fire Breathing Elmos: a bedtime story

Good point, although I will let you know that i have submitted this elsewhere, and while perhaps the grammar is not the best in the world, it was at least considered a story, and one that those individuals thought was cute. However to each their own. I will work on my coherence in the future. Perhaps if i ingest an entire novel, this may improve me. :wink: