Chaser's Great Escape.

A word from Chaser:
I am gonna get you, you jerks! The ones that are taking pleasure in my capture! I’m coming for you next!! I Don’t know how, or when, but I promise my payback’s gonna be sweeter than BBQd BBQ bones!!!
Ahem……. Sorry, I popped in on visitor’s hour and had a word with Chaser. She doesn’t seem all that happy.
Welcome back friends, to the continuation of Chaser’s Mix Up.
If you’re just joining us… Well, I guess you can start here… But I don’t see why You’d start with the sequel… Unless you’re Me. That’s a very “me” thing to do. (Long lost twin?!)
If you’re still reading this, you have a general idea of the roller-coaster, action-filled, abdl bit of barely controlled chaos that awaits in the following.
I apologize for the late time of this post. (I had about 6 pages written hours ago, but didn’t like the flow so I scrapped it)
Chaser’s Mix Up Redux is still in the works before I place it into the completed stories section, so please bear with me.
One last word of apology, I didn’t get as much time to proof-read this (I’ll go back again tomorrow) So I apologize if the quality suffers.
Sa’ll this guy has. Enjoy.

Prologue: “Breaking Mad”

The little girl looked up at the top of the hill. Around her, the usual dust and dirt of the wastes had turned into slick mud from the recent rains.
Though she was fourteen, she was much smaller than any girl her age. They made fun of her for her height. They made fun of her because she was wheelchair bound. Above all, they taunted her because of her accidents.

The kids at the top of the hill looked down at her, waving her bandanna.
“Come on up and get it!” they taunted.
She grunted, trying to get her wheelchair to move, but the thick mud made it impossible.
“What’s wrong? Can’t move??? All you have to do is stand and come on up!!”

Tears streamed down the girl’s face, and her ears drooped.
There was no getting out of the slick mud she had gotten herself stuck in. To make matters worse, she now had to pee.
She didn’t want to have another accident in front of all the kids again.
The orphanage was understaffed on the best of days. Most people with kind hearts didn’t last too long in the wastes.
They were usually killed for their supplies, or taken to the Mistress.
So medical necessities for disabled girls like May weren’t common place.

Though she could have fit in diapers meant for children much younger than her, none were ever on hand.
So she would often have accidents in her pretty clothes. Which were the only nice things she owned. No memory of where they came from, but her few dresses and her bandanna were all the possessions she had in the world.
Sometimes May would scrounge up posters from action movies…. Her little corner in the orphanage was decorated with a poster from the movie “Aliens” and another one from “Escape from New York”.
May had no idea what “New York” was, but the place in the poster reminded her of the wastes.
And she could think of nothing more she wanted than to escape from where she was.
She squirmed, unable to stand up to get her chair out of the mud.
She tried hopping her chair out, but the small girl’s attempts to even lift the chair were unsuccessful.

On top of the hill A boy gave Pretty Nina the bandanna as though it were a gift. Like it made no difference where it came.
Nina tied the bandanna into a bow and wore it in her hair.
“Just come and take it, dummy.” She taunted, glaring down at the cat girl who was desperately trying not to wet herself.
Tears streamed down May’s face, and as her bladder let go she opened her eyes.

May was still wearing her frilled dress. It almost looked like some Lolita fashion.
“Sissy Little May.” That’s what the damned Head Nurse had taken to calling her.
There was nothing about this situation that Chaser liked. She had been stripped of the clothes that she felt defined her identity.
The Head Nurse had an unhealthy infatuation with her and took it upon herself to breastfeed May at every possible opportunity.
May looked down. She was still tightly bound with Faerie silk. The warmth in her groin told her that she hadn’t just wet her pants in her dream. Her stomach rumbled, and she looked down.
While Chaser couldn’t see her belly to tell just how swollen it was, May had just spent the last two hours getting pumped full of milk by said nurse. Her stomach felt full to bursting, but still the nurse made her suckle.

Constant growling in her stomach, coupled with waves of cramps announced that she would soon need to do more than just wet her diapers.
May squirmed desperately, making the spider faerie that wouldn’t leave her side giggle to herself.
“It’s pointless Sissy Little May,” she said. “Just make a big mess in your pampers and Nursi will come and change you. Maybe she’ll even give you more milk!”

“Fuck you!” Chaser exclaimed. “You’re not even a fucking foot tall! Don’t you talk to me that way!!”
She struggled against the cocooning bonds, making her frilly dress rustle and her very wet diapers crinkle.
The Faerie giggled again. “You know, I can help you if you don’t want to go, Little May.”
“Noo!” May shrieked, “Stay away from me! Take it back! Take it back, you damn tiny hell beast!”
To Chaser’s annoyance, the Faerie giggled again “Alright… But at least if I did it, you could tell Nursi that. She’ll just make you nurse more when she sees what a baby you are.”

May growled, and flailed helplessly against the Faerie silk. “If I ever get outta this I’m gonna eat you!”
The Faerie smiled cheerfully at May “You can still eat me, tied up just like you are right there!”
Chaser groaned as another wave of cramps rocked her small frame.
The Faerie grabbed one of the strands of silk around May’s waist and pulled. The bonds tightened around her stomach, causing poor May to groan as the new pressure easily overwhelmed her milk-filled tummy.
“K-kill you.” She shuddered, as she finally gave in and filled her diapers.
The mess spread through her diapers, but didn’t sag thanks to the omutsu cover keeping everything in place.
Chaser squirmed, as her humiliation reached a new height when the smell of what she had done hit her nose.
Once again, she hung her head to try to hide as much of her shame as she could.
“Go ahead and call the nurse…” Chaser sniffled. “I….I really need to be changed.”

The faerie giggled again. Chaser had no idea what an Orgy of opera singers would sound like if they suddenly had a punch of active chainsaws dropped on them, but she decided that it would be more pleasant than this damn faerie’s giggling.
“Sorry, Little May… But changing time isn’t til’ morning. Don’t worry though. I’ll help you go to sleep though!”

May was about to try to attack the faerie when her body suddenly seized as multiple orgasms rocked her body.
Her vision blurred, and she had a difficult time catching her breath.
As she blacked out, she heard the Mistress laughing with the faerie that was baby-sitting her.

From somewhere behind her, a gentle voice got her attention.
“Excuse me young miss, but do you need some help?”
May tried to turn around, but her stuck wheelchair narrowed her view.
Before she could answer, she was scooped up into one of his arms, and with his free arm he got her wheel chair unstuck from the mud.
He looked vastly different from any man she saw traversing the wastes. He wore a tailored suit of black cashmere, as opposed to the usual leather or denim attire the wasters wore.
His jacket covered a well-fitted white button up shirt. On his head he wore a wide brimmed hat.
Above his breast pocket, a golden brooch shone brightly in what little morning sun had dared to peek from behind the clouds. To May it almost looked like a compass, but with arrows pointing in all directions instead of just north.

The smile on his face was sincere. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” The Kindly man spoke. “Then we’ll get you sorted out in a good way? How does that sound, young dear?”
May nodded her head and sniffled before burying her face into his chest and cried. He set his briefcase down in the girl’s wheelchair, and pulled it behind him as he headed towards the run-down building that acted as a semi-functional orphanage to the children of the wastes.
The briefcase was new polished leather. Looking on from the top of the case, a Cthulhu buckle stared up at the world.

23:49 (That’s 11:49 pm for you civie types)

Driver stepped out of the freshly repaired No-Mercy ambulance. Even though it was night, he still wore his sunglasses anyway. Shotgun, Lizzy and TC were strictly told to stay in the van til’ he got the gurney with Chaser.
“Don’t want to risk losing any more of my team. So ya just stay put and I’ll handle this.”
His stride was long and quick as he approached the standing Orderly-guard.

The hulking guard looked to weigh about 350 pounds of solid muscle, as all of them did. They were essentially golems born for the singular purpose of intimidation. And to occasionally battle off wasters that were trying to break in and free captives.
His labcoat flowed behind him like a superhero cape as he drew close.
His slippers silenced his footfalls, and the navy blue sweatpants he opted to wear tonight erased any doctorly (or heroic) illusion that may have existed. That is until you got to Driver’s specialty trademark. A plaid shirt. I’m writing this, and even I’m not 100% sure he OWNS a shirt that isn’t plaid.

The orderly took a step forward, as if to bar the old man’s way, but Driver simply gave the guard a come here motion, and the gaurd flew towards him as though an invisible gorilla had drop kicked him from behind.
If “surprised” is an accurate way to describe the guard’s face when he suddenly flew towards the old man at an alarming rate, I suppose “shock” would also be a sufficient way to describe his demeanor when Driver suddenly held up a hand stop, and the guard stopped where he was.

“Listen here, ya stinkin’ ape.” Driver said pulling a lit cigar from his breast pocket and inhaling deeply.
Driver held his breath for a moment, then exhaled a blue plume of smoke into the guard’s face.
“Ya go on and tell yer queen-bitch that I’m here for my girl. She’ll know who I am and who I mean.”
With that, Driver motioned again walk away. and the guard went flying into the side of the fence.
The guard shook his head, trying to regain his bearing, and quickly ran off to the phone.

Minutes later the main gate opened up and out glided the Mistress of Care.
Her beauty was ethereal, as always. She glowed in the pale moonlight, and seemed even more radiant than she had a few days prior.
“Driver!” She exclaimed excitedly. “It’s so good to see you, even if you’re as disrespectful as ever.”

The old man exhaled, but this time instead of smoke, a small burst of flame exited his mouth.
“Be sure ya excuse me, Ma’dam. I tend to get a bit of heart burn when I’m around the biggest bitch this side of the planet.”
The Mistress shot him a glare that could have blinded mole rat.
“Well, then I will be pleased to give you this bit of news,” She shot at him, her words as toxic as nightshade.
“I have grown ever so fond of Sissy Little May, I’ve decided to give her a free extended stay.”

Driver scowled from behind his ridiculous aviator sunglasses. “Yer breaking a deal with me?” He said, raising an eyebrow.
“And just how long are you thinking my girl is gonna be here?”
Mistress smiled, a grin no less dangerous than her words sounded.
“Indefinite. She’s simply too precious.”

Shaking his head, Driver placed his (still lit) Cigar back into his breast pocket.
He threw his sunglasses on the ground between him and the Mistress and grimaced as he cracked his back.
“Then tonight,” He said, his scowl unchanging. “I come outta retirement.”
The Mistress laughed as Driver turned and strode back to the ambulance.
“You’re just a sad old man!” She called after him. “She’ll rot in my clinic for all eternity!”
The sirens turned on, and the load speaker began to broadcast Fever Ray’s “If I had a heart.”

Shotgun looked up as Driver slammed the door. The two girls in the back peered into the main cab, curiosity on their face.
“How’d things go, old timer? They bringing out chaser?” Shotgun asked, half of braids falling onto his face.

Driver pulled his Cigar out of his pocket, along with a new pair of sunglasses.
He put on the sunglasses and held the cigar between his teeth.
He growled as he asked, and his question made shotgun’s hair stand on end.
“Ya ready to see what I did before I retired?”

To be continued….

Re: Chaser’s Great Escape.

Courtesy update from my phone:
I haven’t updated this prologue or started on the next chapter here as my old-old (backup) laptop has just died.
This unfortunately means I have lost all my work saved for Chaser’s Mix Up Redux, and the material I was working on for the Great escape.
So… Not much in the way of good news…
I did, however order a netbook yesterday. Nothing amazing, an Asus x205. But I will be able to continue working when it arrives some time next week.
Sorry for the delay.
RIP old old computer. You have served me well for the last decade.
And now his watch is ended…

Re: Chaser’s Great Escape.

My netbook came, I had a pretty restful couple of days off, and I’m ready to write…Which is good because I’ve got a lot of it to do.

Chapter One: “Electric Sheep.”

Before taking his leave, the Kindly Man had been so kind as to wash all of May’s nice dresses. He even left her with some other clothes to make getting dressed for the day a much simpler task.
She had taken him to her little corner of the orphanage where she showed off her movie posters and confessed her secret crush on Snake Pliskin.
The Kindly Man had left her with more than just simpler clothes, however. he left her his briefcase, including the buckle with the “Squid-Man” that May had become so fond of since she first laid eyes on it.
“Cthulhu”, the kindly man called it. “Squid-Man”, May insisted.

Though May was a little obsessed with her new Squid-Man buckle, the main gift was inside of the briefcase.
At first she was confused;
“Are these… Diapers?” May asked, unable to understand the glimmer of excitement growing inside of her.
“They are,” The Kindly Man replied. “They’ll give you a little extra time to get to the bathroom. More importantly, if you don’t make it, only you will know.”

May’s eyes were glued on the padded white contents in the bag. Part of her was embarrassed by the idea of wearing baby pants. Without a doubt, if the other children ever found out they’d give her even more hell than they gave her now.
She could hear Nina’s taunts already.
Look, she’s finally realized she can’t make it to the bathroom!!
Her face flushed in anger as she thought about it, but the Kindly Man clapped a hand to her shoulder and brought her back to reality.

She gazed up at his smiling face. She noticed whiskers about his face, in spite of his clean appearance, he hadn’t shaved for days it seemed.
“I have one final gift for you,” He said, still smiling.
May’s eyes widened in excitement. She had never received gifts before, much less this many in one day.
had she any idea what a birthday party was, she could have compared this moment to that.

“What do you have for me now, mister?!” She asked, excitedly.

The Kindly Man smiled, and held out a small vial, not unlike the ones May mixes her cocktails with now.
“A wish,” He said, still smiling. “Anything you could imagine. Just drink this, and in seven days it will be yours.”

May gazed at him in awe, and she knew exactly what it is that she wanted.

Chaser was awoken by light shining through a nearby window. She was a little disoriented, as she discovered she was no longer cocooned in faerie silk and dangling helplessly from a ceiling.
She also noticed (to great relief) that there was a distinct lack of squishiness in her diapers this morning.
May sniffed the air and smelled only fresh baby powder, and her lack of diaper rash confirmed her suspicions.
One of the Nurses had changed her sometime after she passed out, and the damned faerie had lied to her, just trying to drink more of her humiliation and despair.

May looked down and saw that she still was cocooned, except her bonds had been limited to her torso and knees.
It suddenly occurred to her why the faerie had knocked her out with multiple orgasms; They needed to untie her to change her.
Hoping that some of the strands had weakened or loosened, she struggled. As she moved, she discovered that the bed she was laying on was moving also.
Okay, May thought, her mind racing They’ve got me on a gurney, maybe I can get my self off of this and inch-worm into the shadows and try to escape.

High-heels clacking down the hall interrupted her scheming, and may looked towards the direction of the sound.
If she was lucky, the source of the sound wouldn’t be the creepy head nurse who had an obsession with…. Well, nursing Chaser.
She shook her head as far to the left as she could, trying to get her now tousled bangs out of her eyes.
Her cat ears twitched, trying to source the sound as best as she could, when the lights went out.
The familiar dark of the Clinic had returned, and she felt someone tugging at the waistband of her diapers.

“Oh my, our Little May has actually kept her pants clean and dry through the night.”
Chaser couldn’t tell if it was the creepy nurse or not.
“That’s no good,” The feminine voice continued, “We’ll just have to give you a little encouragement then, won’t we?”
May gasped as she felt the hand slide down the front of her diapers.
As she opened her mouth, something slipped in, and she felt herself involuntarily sucking on whatever it was.

Instead of the warm cream she had grown to expect, she was greatly relieved when she found that this meal, was not breast milk.
Cool liquid filled her mouth, and she could taste some subtle tropical notes.
A feeder gag, she recalled, something she had used on her captives quite frequently.
But what did they lace it with if not just nutrients…?
At this point May didn’t really care. She was just happy to not be force-nursed for the time being.

TC had strict instructions from Driver not to run.
Such instructions were odd, (to her) because TC was a chaser.
Unlike her short, curvy pink-haired catgirl counterpart, TC was about a foot and a half taller, and considered herself a bit of a string bean.
Where Chaser kept her pink hair in a medium-length bob cut, TC wore her long green hair in high pigtails.
The high pigtails made her appear to be taller than she was, which was how she gained her nick-name, Tall Chaser.
She further contrasted Chaser with her clothing.
Where as May dressed as though she were a super-soldier in a bad 80’s action film, TC maintained an appearance that could almost be considered professional.

She wore khaki pants with cargo pockets. Occasionally, she would wear diapers underneath, but that was only if she lost a one-sided bet against Chaser (In other words, twice a week.)
On her feet she wore running shoes, which were a little more mild than May’s combat boots.
That was the end of her professional appearance, however.
TC’s top was a plain white shirt. This would be perfectly normal, except it had buckles and zippers on the sides and sleeves.
Yes, TC had re-purposed a straight jacket for every day use. The people she pursued were genuinely terrified, and this ALWAYS confused TC.
She wasn’t particularly fierce or vicious. She was much less intense than May.
Yet, whenever TC exited the ambulance and charged at someone, they were always far more afraid of her than Chaser.

Chaser found it hilarious, and TC always found her feelings hurt, as she never pieced together WHY people might be terrified of the girl exiting a (No Mercy) ambulance. Nor did it occur to TC that while exiting said ambulance, wearing what was very clearly at one time a straight jacket would not put most people at ease.
So, TC was always shocked (and a little hurt) when her targets opted to run, as opposed to coming peacefully.

So, back to the current situation. Had to make sure that you lot didn’t just think TC was a re-colored version of May.

Driver had expressly forbidden TC from running today. Period.
“I just fixed the damn van, I don’t need you destroyin’ it in the first hour I got it runnin.”
His voice was a little gruffer than usual. Though he wasn’t smoking one of his cigars now, He hadn’t been seen without one since they left the clinic sans Chaser.

After they left, he’d sent Shotgun to go to the nearest (still functioning) bar in the wastes.
Funny thing about people, is that no matter how badly the world falls into madness, or how dark the hour appears, there is ALWAYS a way to get alcohol.
You may not find medical supplies, books, food, or tools in the wastes.
You may not even find clean drinking water out there, but you can always find alcohol.

Lizzy sat in the back with TC. She was still wearing a Japanese schoolgirl outfit, as oddly enough, the clinic had plenty of those on hand.
Unlike her Kagome cosplay, the skirt and accent colors on this one were the standard blue instead of green.
She let her hair lay straight, as there hadn’t been a need to do anything with it since her abduction. Oddly enough, she still looked fairly similar to the girl she was cosplaying as.

When Lizzy thought of Chaser, she felt an odd mixture of pity and anger. She felt bad that the short girl had been humiliated as she had, and had been held captive for as long as she had already.
She felt anger, because of the (oddly delightful) humiliation she endured at her hands.
Above all, she felt anger because Lizzy still had to wear diapers. Whatever potion the cat girl had given her, hadn’t entirely worn off.
While the powerful aphrodisiac affects had subsided, she was still peeing and pooping her pants.
So it was understandably difficult for Lizzy to completely empathize with May.

TC saw the troubled look on Lizzy’s face and piped up.
“Do you want to know where Old Man D is taking us?” her voice was cheerful enough, but Lizzy wasn’t sure if straight-jacket-tornado entirely knew the answer to that either.

“Err,” Lizzy stammered, “Given the circumstances for how and why I was brought here, I’m not sure that I do.”
TC smiled, a sincere gesture that was a bit tarnished thanks to her choice of shirt.

“We are going to meet the Creepy Coffin Twins at the edge of the wastes. They were released yesterday.”
Lizzy wasn’t sure she wanted much to do with a couple that pretended to be twins for the sake of some bizarre kink. Much less a couple that spoke in unison half the time and cruised around in a hearse that kidnapped people for a living.

“What is it we are going to see them for?” Lizzy asked.
TC stood up and hit her head on a supply rack. The security strap snapped, and all boxes tumbled to the floor.

“Siddown! I just fixed this thing!” Driver yelled to the back, snapping his fingers.
TCs jacket suddenly reformed and locked itself into place.
She took a seat next to Lizzy and groaned.
“Ohh my head… Just help me out of this if I have to use the bath room.”
Lizzy looked at the girl next to her, a wicked grin crossing her lips.
“If you have to go to the bathroom TC, I’ll just make sure you’re diapered so you don’t have an accident.”

TCs eyes widened in fear.
“Noooo, come on… Don’t be mean like May!”

“Quiet down, both of ya!” Driver yelled again.
“I’ll let ya out as soon as we get to the twins,” his voice softening as he spoke.
“We need them to make a bit of a distraction for us.”

Lizzy stood up, her diaper crinkling audibly as she moved.
“Why would they help us?” She asked, “We kind of destroyed their car… and weekend.”

Driver pointed to TC
“'Cause I’ve got the most destructive creature on the planet right here.”

“I am not the most destructive creature on the planet!!” TC yelled from the back.

Lizzy looked at the broken shelf and the spilled contents, and the innocent looking TC wrapped tightly in a straight jacket.
She climbed past driver and sat down in Shorgun’s seat, suddenly feeling a little bit unsafe.
As Lizzy sat down, she cringed as she felt warm, wet, swollen padding squish underneath her butt.
She had wet herself at some point in the last two minutes, and she hadn’t even noticed.
Lizzy was annoyed to discover she still enjoyed the feeling of wet diapers underneath her.
She thought about how she might get her own payback on Chaser when the time came, but her thoughts of vengeance subsided when she saw a Hearse a few hundred feet down the road.

“We’re here,” Driver growled. “Stay on yer toes. They may be thinkin’ of a re-match.”

Lizzy wondered how the real Kagome felt being locked up in one of those coffins, and realized she was wetting herself again.
Dammit! She thought I’m gonna need a change before we go back!
Her diaper was quite swollen, but she knew it was still far from leaking. She just had to hope that her little skirt would still be able to hide a wet diaper, she didn’t exactly feel like listening to Creepy-twin unison taunts.

The Ambulance came to a stop, and as Driver put it in park, TCs straight jacket reverted back to her casual wear.
“Yay!” She exclaimed, raising her hands. As she fully stretched her arms she knocked something off of the shelf above her, which promptly fell onto her head and scattered about on the floor.
It was a box containing nutrient packets. Fortunately, only one had burst, but the rest lie about the floor as if a child had dumped out a box of toys.

As Driver shut the door behind him, he heard TC apologizing profusely for her clumsiness. Of course she promised to clean everything up, but her voice cut off as soon as the door slammed.
He pulled a cigar out from his pocket and held it between his teeth.

“Qi and Fa, or whatever it is ya call yerselves. I need to talk to ya, I come with no ill-intent, yada yada… So just come out and let’s talk things over.”
Driver took a cautious step towards the hearse, unable to see though the black-tinted windows.

Re: Chaser’s Great Escape.

Hey. I’m alive. I’d like to tell you I’ve been hard at work, writing, and doing other productive things for the last month.
That would be a lie.
I went Kayaking in a lake filled with alligators a couple of weeks ago for whatever that’s worth.
Anyway, here I am. back at it. With a whole new bag of tricks and twists to turn.
brace yourselves. Chapter 2 Of Chaser’s Great escape is HERE!

Actually, he’s literally just makin’ this up as he goes. Occasionally, he checks back on the previous chapters for continuity, but Hemmingway he is not.

I was just going to tell you to shut up, but… I’m actually kind of impressed that you know who Hemmingway is.

Yeah, he’s my favorite. He wrote Spider Man, right? Ya can’t beat classic literature!!

…………………Considering she grew up without any formal education, I suppose I should take comfort just knowing she knew the name. Ahem.

Anyway, I’m going to make shorter chapters for the sake of updating more often than what I have lately.

(He means not at all.)

……Okay, that’s enough out of her. Alright, here we go.

Chapter Two “A fistful of pennies.”

The bar was run down. Though to Shotgun, “run-down” was putting it nicely. In truth, it mainly suffered from an identity crisis of aesthetics.
On one hand it had an abandoned, ghost town saloon look going on, like something out of an old western.
On the other hand, the walls were lined with sheet metal that were covered from ceiling to floor with mythic runes.
Almost like a doomsday prepper’s idea of a Dungeons and Dragons themed panic room.

Shotgun took a step inside, letting the steel shutter roll closed behind him, and the bat wing doors slam shut on those.
His gaze crossed the room, and found more than one set of eyes meet his own as he looked.
Hunters weren’t exactly popular. They epitomized success in a genuinely harsh environment. For the average person in the wastes, procuring water was an act that required careful planning and calculated use of resources.
Hunters had whatever they wanted on a whim.
They walked freely to and from the clinic, where as anyone else that was dragged there got stuck there for an unknown duration of time.

Shotgun walked past a couple of rough-looking wasters. He noticed the home-made pistols on their hip and smiled as he passed.
As he reached the bar he slammed a handful of coins on the table and called for a Pulque.

Behind the counter the Bartender stood with his back facing Shotgun.
He was slightly overweight and wore his long hair in a pony tail.
“You have a lot of nerve showing up at these hours. Especially after your blatant disregard for punctuality.”

The patrons murmured to themselves before returning to their drinks.

Shotgun lifted his chin, pushing his braids behind his head.
“Come on, Ted. You know who I work for. If had to choose between pissing you off or anyone in my workplace, I gotta pick you, pal.”

Ted turned around and placed a glass on the table, his free hand reaching for the bottle of pulque.

A note from the author: Pulque is an alcoholic drink made from fermented agave, or cactus… or something… The process is a bit different from tequila. It is white in color and has a somewhat viscous consistency. It was once reserved for the ruling classes, but after the Spanish conquered Mexico it was available to all. Then beer showed up and it fell into obscurity. You’ve learned something. Your day is productive, my story (About extra-dimensional bounty hunters whose objective is to diaper and bring their targets to a Queen Succubus) is now officially more educational and informative than any major news network in the US. Moving on.

Chaser thinks it’s gross, and that’s all you need to know.


Shotgun accepted the glass, smirking as he raised it.
“Thanks, Ted. While I’m not gonna dispute that you run the best bar in town, I do gotta ask what’s going on with the decor? You trying to hide from Ring Wraiths or somethin’?”

Ted scoffed and whipped his uncharacteristically not-greasy ponytail over his shoulder.
“First off, I’m the ONLY bar in town. Secondly, I’m most certain that you’re well-informed about the Spider-Faeries ability to compromise our bodily autonomy. The steel acts as a barrier that inhibits whatever Neuro-jacking transmissions the Faerie-”

“Yeah, Yeah, I know all that.” Shotgun said waving his hand in the air.
“I was specifically referring to the runes. The wasters aren’t usually superstitious.”

“Ah yes, I was getting to that, before you interrupted me.” he said, refilling Shotgun’s glass.
“No, nobody here believes they actually do anything. The Tabletop club just got bored and offered to do the paint job for free. I’m going to change the motif of the Bar to something a little more whimsical.”

Shotgun downed the glass and slid it over to Ted for another refill.
“You don’t think the ambiance might dissuade your usual clientele?”

Ted slid a full glass back to Shotgun.
“And where do you propose they go? The last of my competition vanished 3 years ago after wasters raided the place, took the booze and left the owners open to be taken by faeries. Plus, what exactly was my motif before? Run down saloon? Yes. I can see how the Fantasy theme would be SUCH an inconvenience for my patrons. One tenth of whom seem to live here.”

Shotgun held the glass in front of his mouth, a pleasant buzz starting to fill his head as he considered the geeky bartender’s words.
“You know, that’s a pretty good point. But I didn’t come here to talk about your decor.”

“Yes,” ted regarded. “You usually call, set up a time, and then show up late. It is most fascinating. What brings you here, unannounced?”

Shotgun ignored him and took a sip from his glass before continuing.
“First is the less important matter. I’ve got a real bug problem at my place and need an exterminator. Do you know anyone?”

Ted chuckled a bit as he set to cleaning some glasses.
“Oh yes. Bug problem. We ALL have bug problems. I can call-”

The bartender stopped for a moment when he realized who was asking the question. Ted’s expression didn’t change as he continued his business, still ready to lecture Shotgun about his punctuality.

“I can call a waster that comes in on occasion. His knowledge of pest extermination is in plethora. I think you will find him most helpful.”

“Good,” Shotgun said, finishing his glass. “Send him to my place tomorrow night. I’ll show him where I think the little buggers are nesting.”

Ted moved to refill his friend’s glass again, but Shotgun waved a hand, shaking his head.
“You said that was the least of your troubles. About what else did you want to discuss, sir?”

Shotgun dropped a few more coins on the table and reached for a toothpick.
“Yeah, I’d like a rematch. I got my dice blessed by Vermin Supreme. I think I have a shot at rolling a little better this time.”

“Of course. After your horrid luck last time I can hardly blame you for your want for vengeance. I’m afraid however, that your ill luck was due to your own lack of punctuality.”

Shotgun stood and thanked Ted for the drinks.
“I don’t know who you washed your hair for Ted,” Shotgun chuckled, “But the thing is, I’m guessing it’s a girl. And if you want the date to go well, I definitely wouldn’t mention her being late, or even think about using the word ‘punctuality.’ Best of luck Ted, See you 'round.”

Driver sat down in his seat and sighed, his exasperation dwarfed by the gaping wound in his chest and the two glowing tungsten rods stuck out of his forehead.

Lizzy stared, in spite of all the non-normal things she had seen thus far, nothing could have readied her for the sight of Driver as he re-entered the Ambulance.

“H-how are you still alive… and… Not really hurt…?!” She stammered, suddenly somewhat terrified of Driver.

Veins and tendons reattached themselves like sprawling roots and the fist-sized hole in his chest sealed.
Blue tendrils shot out of his head and wrapped around the tungsten rods, drawing them into his skull like a piece of spaghetti.

“Huh…” Driver thought aloud. “Wonder where those brats got the depleted uranium cores for these. Ya don’t see that too often 'round here.”
The old man broke a piece of the solid tungsten off before it vanished into his forehead and it immediately turned into a lit cigar between his fingers.
“Nothin’ to worry about, kid. This is normal for me. Just don’t start thinkin’ that you can do tricks like this.”

Lizzy nodded, fairly confident that she would in fact, not try to eat depleted uranium with her brain.

“What do we do, Captain??” TC asked while leaning as far forward as her straight jacket would allow.

Driver snapped his fingers and TCs bonds released, and the rear of the ambulance slid open.
“Just go on and ask ‘em fer directions. I’m pretty sure we’re lost and they look like they might be willin’ to tell us which way is where.”

TC perked up, her eyes bright and hopeful. She loved the chance to help the captain! She had to make it up to him from last time she screwed up.

“Aye, Sir!” She cried snapping her hand up into a salute. “Those directions are as good as yours, Captain!”
With that she ran out of the back of the ambulance and confidently strode towards the Creepy Coffin twins.

Fa was visibly standing with her bow “notched”. behind her, her “sister”, Qi lie prone with “her” enormous rifle ready to fire again.
(Remember it’s a weird improvised bad ass rail-gun that operates like a bow. Bow is just easier to say.)

“Wait a second!” Lizzy exclaimed, “You’re just going to send her out there on her own with no help? You could turn those two inside out without even trying! And you’re gonna send that poor thing out there on her own? I’m not even convinced she actually IS potty trained!”

Driver took a drag from his cigar and offered it to Lizzy, growling as he did so.
“Miss, ya got a lot to learn about the way I do things. Yer right, I could subdue those two without actually putting much thought into it… But, I like my crew to have the chance to earn their keep. TC has been in the clinic for a bit, so I’m sure she’s eager fer a shot to do somethin’.”

Lizzy declined the cigar, and Driver shrugged.
“But that still doesn’t explain why you sent her out there on her own. She’s going to get killed.”

Driver took another drag, but kept the cigar clinched between his teeth.
“Ya don’t know TC all that well. And yer right. She probably can’t make it to the bathroom on time half the time because she probably honestly forgot she had to go. But, that said, she’s the most destructive force I have ever seen. That’s comin’ from a guy that’s gotta babysit May most of the time. So relax. She’ll be fine.”

Driver placed his hat over his eyes and leaned his seat back, Cigar still smoking between his teeth.
“Do me a favor. Wake me up when the creepy ones have had enough, right?”

Lizzy nodded and turned her gaze back to TC, who was proudly strutting towards twins.

“I get to be useful! Captain’s gonna be so happy I’m on his team!”
TC sang as she marched forward.

Qi notched another “arrow” and Fa’s finger wrapped around the trigger.

“Don’t move!” they called together.
“We have demands! Last time you broke our car!”

TC was deaf to their threats, as she was too busy singing to herself about how useful she was going to be to the Captain.

Qi loosed and Fa fired.
TC tripped, and Lizzy covered her eyes.

Driver let out a soft snore, everything was going about how he expected it would.

To be continued….

HEY! Wait!! I’m not in this Chapter!?

Guh… Chill you’ll have a bigger part in the next one. I gotta set the stage.

It’s called CHASER’S Great Escape. I should be in this chapter!! It’s not called “Shotgun goes to the bar” or “Driver eats stuff with his skull”
Fix it!!! Write about M-

I’m just going to ignore her for now, and see how that plays out.
Anyway, It’s good to be back and writing again. Hope I’m not too rusty, and I hope you enjoy.

To be-