Hey guys, would you rip this apart, im having alot of trouble writing it so i would appreciate all the criticism constructive or otherwise. Thanks
This is just a bit to tell you what is going on. First off this is my first attempt at a story in a few years. Some of you might remember my story “Summer In Diapers” but you probably don’t, in the off shot that you have read my story don’t worry its not going to be as graphic, gladly I am no longer 14 and my raging hormones have subdued. But I’m still going to warn you that there will be a few sexual scenes and bad language, racial abuse, violence and some drug abuse. So for that reason I suggest only read if you are 18 years old and of a humorous nature. This is a story set in Ireland. Well I’ve blabbed long enough enjoy my story. Oh and criticise it lots
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz rang the school bell as 3:45 dawned and final period let out. The students at St. Colms secondary school were thrilled as it was Friday and they had a whole weekend of fun ahead of them that had just begun. The students scampered out of there respective class rooms almost as fast as the teachers. Students went to there lockers, gathered into cliques or just went home to study…… but the more adventurous ones (I mean Sane) went home to get ready for a weekend of debauchery.
In the atrium two teenage boys stand waiting. One is about six foot and is a bit over weight, he has greasy brown hair although it appears black, a scraggly beard. He’s got green eyes and a few spots on his face. He is wearing the St Colms uniform which is a green blazer, green tie, white shirt, navy pants and black shoes. His tie is half way down his chest, the second top two buttons on his shirt are undone and his shirt is un-tucked at the back. His name is Adam. The other boy is about the same height but is a bit scrawny. He has a tight blond hair cut and blue eyes he has a great complexion his uniform is neat and tidy. His name is Rick.
“Man I can’t believe my head is still on my shoulders.” Winced Rick.
“Either can I buddy, last night at Micks 18th you made it look like a 21st. I didn’t even think it possible to out drink Mick. But hey what better day to do it then on his Bday, ya jerk!” Joked Adam.
“Ha yeah and what better day than to get stuck into his sister.” Retaliated Rick.
“Oh man I thought that didn’t happen, shit I thought it was just a nightmare. Did Tina see me?” Adam asked horrified.
“Nah she was busy sipping water. Man I don’t know why she wasn’t dinking last night. Its not like her. You still got a thing for her don’t ya?” Teased Rick.
“Man a bit but hey its cool that we friends and all ya know. Ha I remember last nigh it was Rick and Mick sitting in a tree, what in the name of god was with that? I thought you two were just friends. But I guess not.” Laughed Adam.
“Man that’s gay chicken for ya. He was after my title” Shrugged Rick.
“Dude just because you beat a gay guy at gay chicken… I don’t know but its not a good thing for crying out loud.” Laughed Adam again.
“I think your jealous.” Teased Rick as he punched Adam on the shoulder.
“Jealous Ha… Why would I be jealous that you got rejected by a gay guy.” Adam retaliated and threw a punch of his own.
Just then Tina walked through the atrium doors. She was about a half foot shorter then the two lads and she had long straightened blond hair with big green eyes. She wore make up but grudgingly to lessen the girls teasing her. She has a ok figure, her legs weren’t sticks but they weren’t hippo legs either I guess they classify as beefy.
“Hey lover boys do you want to know what I think.” Shouted Tina and with that she let out a huge fart. Tina was like a guy, in fact she was one of the guys. She was a complete tom boy. It was suspected that she had a penis, she insist she keeps it in a jar in her shed though.
“Oh dude nasty!” Gasped Rick and Adam at the same time
“Hey man when did you guys loose your pair. I had been baking that for a good few periods.” Joked Tina.
“Anyway you sicko why weren’t you drinking last night?” Asked Adam.
“Ah I just think I over did it last time, you know just giving my liver a break.” Replied Tina.
“I think your just becoming a bitch.” Teased Rick.
“Maybe but I wasn’t the one making out with Mick was I ya big gay.” Retaliated Tina
“Shut up.” Rick said dejectedly.
“Anyway lets get going we gotta get out of school before it sucks us dry.” Ordered Tina.
“Ah you guys go ahead I got grinds in Maths and Irish to get to” Replied Rick.
As Rick departed the trio turned into a duo.
" To my place?" Asked Tina.
“To your place…… Wait what for?” Asked Adam.
“I just need to talk to you Adam.” Said Tina in her serious voice.
So they both set out for Tina’s house. It was about a ten minute walk, but it felt like hours due to the incredible silence between the pair. Finally they got to Tina’s house and went up to her room.
“Ok Tina what the HELL is going on. You hardly said a word over here and normally it’s a miracle to shut you up?” Asked Adam as he raised his voice.
“Yeah I know man, look I need to talk to you. I need my best mate right now.” Stammered Tina as she sat on her bed.
Adam looked at Tina. His heart beat faster. He looked at her slunched over, her head in her hands. She looked so helpless. Adam felt so guilty because he thought she looked so cute right now, he was really digging her helplessness.
“Sure thing hunny, sorry for being short with ya, look what’s up?” Asked Adam as he sat next to Tina and put his arm around her.
“Ok thanks, look I need you to keep this secret for me, its been tearing me up inside. I really need to talk to someone about it and you’re the only one I know who can deal with this.” Sobbed Tina as she began to break down.
“Man is it drugs… wait I know you do hash but shit you aint been doing coke have you?” Asked Adam as he began to crack up.
“No no no its not that, look its why I wasn’t drinking.” Informed Tina
“Ok what’s up?” Asked Adam as he simmered down a bit.
“Look its really embarrassing can you keep this secret, I gota thrust you.” Asked Tina.
“Of coarse I can look tell me hun you are worrying me.” Soothed Adam.
“Ok well the reason I aint been drinking is because…. I started to piss myself.” Tina blurted out then after a brief pause she started to cry uncontrollably. Adam just stared at her for a minute then he gave her a big hug.
“Ok Tina I wont tell a soul.” Comforted Adam.
“Its been happening for a while, it started out I would just piss the bed then I did it a few times when I was drinking. I’m so confused, the whole thing is driving me mad.” Confessed Tina.
“Well I bet it has been. Ok we are in this together now. Ill take care of you ok.” Adam soothed. And then hugged Tina even tighter.
“But I don’t need taking care of Adam!!” Shouted Tina.
“But…” Stammered Adam.
“Look I’m not a retard Adam, I can take care of myself, I’m not a fucking baby.” Exploded Tina.
“Tina I didn’t mean anything by it, look I think I should leave.” Whispered Adam as he got up and left.
Tina was livid, but not at Adam but at herself. She just ate the head off her best mate over nothing. She was so ashamed. One she was wetting herself like a baby and two she was throwing tantrums like a baby. She started pacing about her room contemplating what had just happened and how she was going to fix it. Here was this guy, who she loved like a brother, and all he did was be a great friend. What did she do, she yelled at him till he left. With that thought she threw herself on her bed and started to cry. What had she done, she wouldn’t be surprised if Adam never talked to her again. Soon she calmed down and noticed the faint smell of urine creep into her nostrils. Great soon she wouldn’t be able to hide the fact that she was wetting the bed from her family. She now started to bawl, soon she fell into a deep sleep.
Adam started to walk home, he was distraught. He couldn’t believe what just happened. He walked home briskly. Not meeting anyone, It took him two minutes as he lived just down the street. He went to his room and had a long shower. That’s were he went when he needed to think. When he was washing he noticed some bruises around his ribs and back.
“Ha musta been a great night last night.” Thought Adam to himself.
He finished washing, but he felt just as bad. Two thoughts were in his head. One Tina must hate him, and Two how lost and helpless she was. To Adams horror he was getting turned on by this. He felt like a pervert, how could he be getting off to one of his friends misery.
“Right brain you want to confuse me, well I’m going to get even with you, I’m going to get langered!” Thought Adam
He picked up his phone and dialled Ricks number.
“Hello?” Answered Rick
“Yo mofo, we gota get arrested tonight!” Exclaimed Adam.
“HELL YEA!” Answered Rick.
“Man I knew I could count on you.” Returned Adam
“Buddy you don’t need me, ha you almost got arrested last night. Man I never saw you take so much punishment, you were lucky those jerks only hit u in the body and not the face, ha it was great taking care of them though, bunch of jerks!” Laughed Rick.
“Man I was wondering about those bruises!” Laughed Adam.
“Ah don’t worry me and Mick had your back.” Reassured Rick.
“Cool, Get over here fast!” Ordered Adam as he hung up he phone.
He went down to his kitchen and got a six pack of beer out of the fridge. His mom was in the kitchen also.
“Hey Mom, I’m going out soon ok.” Said Adam casually.
“Ok hun don’t get to drunk.” Replied Adam’s Mom.
Adam opened a can and headed to his room. He put on some pennywise and started to sip his
beer. Land of the free had just come on when Mick burst through the door and jumped on Adam and started to wrestle him. Mick was big and burley, he was six foot 3 and was built like a tank. He had green hair at the time as he was always dying it, It was long enough especially for a boy. He had brown eyes. They were rolling on the floor wrestling for ten minutes, Mick would be dominating when Adam would get the advantage for a short while due to a cheap trick such as a poke to the eyes. Things finally stopped when Adam kicked Mick square in the nuts.
“Oh shit man, that’s fucking killing me!” Shouted Mick as he crawled over to Adams bed and sat down.
“Ah man up you wuss!” Teased Adam as he tossed Mick a beer.
“Thanks Man.” Gasped Mick.
“You guys done.” Slagged Rick.
“Hey buddy.” Greeted Adam as he tossed Rick a beer.
“Well the bus aint leaving till 8, so we got a few hours till then.” Explained Rick.
“Well that’s more time to get started.” Informed Adam and with that he left to get another six pack.
“Dude about last night, you know it wasn’t anything right?” Asked Rick
“Fuck man I know, but lets not play gay chicken while drunk again ok.” Answered Mick.
“Way ahead of you man.” Said Rick somewhat relieved by this.
“Chug.” Shouted Mick.
They both started to down there beers immediately. The frothy brew settled in their stomachs, and the metallic containers emptied leaving Mick the victor.
“HA beat you ya wanker!” Exclaimed Mick triumphantly.
“You got me this time ya bolox, but I will have my vengeance!” Laughed Rick.
Just then Adam walked in with another six pack.
“Ok lads this has to last us till tomorrow, so lets make it count.” Informed Adam as he gulped down a mouth full of beer.