Decided to try something new, fell out of the mood for Sweet Desires, not saying that it’s over, just not in the right mindset to write what I think is considered the same up to par content for it. Who knows, any day probably. But this is a new idea I was toying with that I’ll try and flesh out. Without further ado,
“Alright Sarah your mom was a little late, but she’s outside to pick you up! Have a good afternoon!” The 7-year-old girl’s second-grade teacher happily chirped.
“Yah… she can be late… Bye!” Sarah lied, with a small hint of sadness in her voice that not even her loving teacher could pick up on. Sarah quickly threw on her old worn backpack and made a quick walk out of the big school doors where all the students were properly released into the safe custody of their guardians.
Like normal, Sarah sifted through the crowd of fortunate children who were able to be actually picked up by their parents. There was no mom to pick Sarah up, no car to meet her outside of the school; just a lonely and dangerous walk on the city streets back to her apartment complex seemingly miles away for her small 7-year-old legs.
A few tears ran down here face as the repetitive situation never seemed to be less sad but was just a fresh reminder how there wasn’t anyone there for her; anyone that cared at least. Sarah’s, “mom” as her teacher addressed her, was actually just the legal guardian of her named Lilith. As a guardian, her care and loving compassion did not step an inch beyond her signature on a piece of paper, just claiming ownership. If only the school knew the truth Sarah wouldn’t have to walk home alone on a daily basis. Easily with a phone call, Lilith deceived the school into thinking that she was an “Awfully busy woman,” and didn’t have the time to go onto school grounds to meet with Sarah. Rather, she’d simply give the school a call and tell them she was waiting outside in her car ready to pick Sarah up. Of course, none of that was true, but it was enough to suffice for the school.
Sarah cautiously made her way down many sidewalks and many blocks; all alone, taking care to ensure that she kept herself right smack dab in the middle of the busy sidewalk. One of the few tricks she picked up having the traverse the dangerous city alone, she reasoned that by staying in the middle she could avoid the dark and scary looking alleyways and avoid big and loud noisy cars on the street.
Every walk home Sarah felt like she’d be set into a panic attack, feeling so vulnerable as she was purely left in the hands of the outside world, absolutely no one to protect her. It was somewhat frustrating…but more sad than anything else.
Her walk continued for what was about another half hour until she reached what was a questionable excuse for a home. Sarah stood face to face with the large thick glass door in front of her, covered in a thin set of metal bars including the windows connected to a dirty brick apartment complex. With all of her little might, Sarah pried open the door, and quickly rushed inside for the door had time to swing shut on her. Inside the lobby was yet another sight that put her fears and disgust on edge that seemed just as terrible as always.
The lights on the ceiling flickered with varying intensities of light and created the strong shadow of collected fly carcasses stacked underneath the glass, straight out of a horror movie. The greenish brown wallpaper was peeling in various places, including to be stained as well. What freaked Sarah out the most though were the occasional creepy-crawly she’d find lurking in a damp corner, and to her child-like fear’s dismay, today was one of those days. The lobby to her was always scary, and as usual, Sarah quickly bolted to the stairs as fast as her little legs could carry her, straight past the working elevator that she was simply too scared to use alone.
She didn’t waste any time in scurrying up the stairs, finally reaching her floor where she walked down the hall in unfortunate similar likeness to the main lobby. She was relieved to be out off the streets but wasn’t looking forward to being back home. The Apt 09 door looked down on her menacingly and was the gateway to the frightening environment she called home. Sarah opened the already unlocked door (Because Lilith said she couldn’t be trusted with a key) to be welcomed to a day like any other.
Sarah quietly walked in to hear the tv in the next room over on, likely to be Lilith watching it. Sarah with as much care as possible slowly inched the door closed, so not to disturb Lilith and make her angry, including to not let her presence be known. Like a hawk though as soon as the door shut…
“Sarah! Get in here now!” Lilith yelled from across the small apartment.
Sarah like a loyal pet dared not to disobey Lilith unless she wanted to experience a harsh punishment of course. Sarah walked into the living room with a small fear sitting in the pit of her stomach unsure of whether she had performed some kind of misconduct or wrongdoing to piss Lilith off.
Lilith was casually laid out on the clearly used couch, an open bag of chips conveniently leaned against the couch in such a way her arm had easy access to the junk food. Sarah made brief eye contact with the bag of chips, almost drooling with envy as Lilith wouldn’t dare let her have something so tasty to eat.
Lilith propped herself up into a sitting position on the couch and in great contrast to Sarah’s flowing black hair, brushed aside her dirty blond wild hair, that had the ends that looked like they tried to become curled but some ends just weren’t lucky enough, and the others only made it halfway.
“Well?” She asked, in a tone as if Sarah had known what she’d done wrong.
Sarah was too afraid to speak, be it considered as her speaking out of tone and overstepping her boundaries. Nevertheless, she did have a small idea about what it was, and it was certainly embarrassing…
Like any nervous child, Sarah made a clear effort to avoid making eye contact while she mustered, “Wh-what are you talking about?”
It was then clear at that point Lilith’s already thin patience had run dry, as she clearly had grown more agitated in a moment’s notice.
“Well if you don’t know what I’m talking about then I’ll be happy to enlighten you!” Lilith said, wasting no time in standing up and forcefully grabbing Sarah by the wrist, giving her a harsh tug towards the hallway where their bedrooms were.
Sarah slightly struggled to keep up with Lilith’s large strides as she had to make a conscious effort to keep up with her pace. And as if Sarah won the lottery, but a much more sinister one, Lilith dragged Sarah into, of course, Sarah’s room. Lilith let go of Sarah’s small wrist that had been gripped so tightly and made her way across the very small room to her bed.
“Do you want to tell me about this!?” Lilith started to raise her voice, causing Sarah to flinch from the sheer volume of her voice. Lilith had yanked the old comforter off of Sarah’s bed, revealing a sight Sarah by no means was proud to see. Underneath the covers were ill-sighted faded yellow-stained sheets, the telltale sign of a frequent bedwetter.
Sarah could feel the fear she had for Lilith’s punishments that never went away, quickly growing inside of her as she knew Lilith was not pleased.
“Sarah!” Lilith yelled. “Why are these sheets stained yellow!?”
“I-I don’t know…” Sarah said in a very quiet and embarrassed voice.
“Sarah…that’s not a good enough answer! I think we both know very well why… But you’re going to tell me why, NOW!”
“B-because…” Sarah could feel the tears peeking from the corners of her eyes of sheer embarrassment. Acknowledging her accidents was one thing, but talking about them brought whole new levels of shame.
“B-because….I-I…w-wet the bed…” Sarah finally said, with each word growing more quieter than the last, as her sobbing began and tears run down her cheeks.
“AND?” Lilith still raged on, still not satisfied with the already distraught 7-year-old.
“I-I’m s-s,” hiccup “sorry…” Sarah continued to cry.
“You’re sorry? That’s it?” Lilith said as if she figured Sarah could do a much better job to amend the situation. “Newsflash Sarah! Apologies don’t fix piss-stained sheets!” The tormenting only made Sarah cry harder. “And if you think for even a second that these ruined things are getting washed anytime soon, you’re dead wrong. Honestly! Do you really think I have the money to put you in diapers so you won’t wet the bed!? I expected more from you! Sarah, you’re 7-years-old for god’s sake! Grow up!”
What had she done? This was all her fault… Sarah couldn’t help but feel guilt for what she’d done… To her, as painful and hurtful Lilith’s words were, it didn’t make her wrong. To Sarah, she was just being a big baby and she was responsible for her own actions. Sarah only continued to sob and couldn’t face Lilith.
“And that’s why until you decide to start changing things missy, each and every morning we’re going to see if you wet yourself again. And if you did, you’re going to wear that underwear for the rest of the day, to school and back until you go to bed, just to see if you piss through another pair! Do I make myself clear?”
She’d have to wear the same wet underwear all day? No! She wouldn’t make her do that! Would she?
The threat was enough to get Sarah’s undivided attention as she quickly opened her eyes and said in an upset still crying tone, “No! Don’t make me!”
“Don’t make you? I’m not making you do anything! It’s all up to you if you feel like pissing yourself at night! Not me! It’s all on you, Sarah.”
Sarah continued to cry and didn’t dare to continue arguing with Lilith. Her word was law and to defy her was the last thing Sarah would ever do.
Lilith took one last look at the upset teary-eyed girl who didn’t seem to be stopping crying for a while. Feeling satisfied with chastising the girl enough, for now, Lilith took her leave.
“You are NOT to leave this room for the rest of the night. You’re getting no dinner either for lying to me. And I BETTER not have to come back here to tell you to keep your crying down.” Lilith didn’t wait for any confirmation from Sarah as she quickly exited the room accompanied by slamming the door shut behind her.
Alone to her own thoughts, and pee-stained sheets, Sarah slipped off her old worn backpack and tattered shoes and climbed onto her bed that sat in the corner of her room. Sarah laid down as she faced the wall in a fetal position where her crying and sobbing could be muffled by her own body. Immense levels of shame, guilt and embarrassment washed over her as she tried to reflect on what she’d done. Continuing to cry, as the additional thought joined her head as to just how much longer she would have to live her life with the cruel mean and terrifying Lilith.