Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Chapter one!
Hi my name is Kyle and I’m 11 years old and this my super true diaper story. I grew up normal like most kids I had a mom and a dad and a brother and a sister too! One day at school a horrible thing happened, I go to Spiro Agnew Middle school and I was in my math class where we were working on spatial equations (I simply hate linear geometry) when I suddenly felt a tremendous pressure in my bladder. I raised my hand to get my math teacher, Mr. Patsy’s attention.

“What is it Mr. Shay?” Mr. Patsy asked agreeably, his kindly features showing pride at the interest of one of his pupils.

“Umm sir could I go to the restroom please?” I asked

Suddenly Mr. Patsy looked much less than pleased. “Mr. Shay! Although this is the first time you have asked I am sick of these constant interruptions of my class by students with a sudden and inexplicable need for the restroom.” Mr. Patsy’s glared at the entire class before he continued, his voice so filled with contempt it sounded as if was spitting the words. “So no, if only to make an example of you, you may not use the restroom now or in the near future so please don’t ask again.”

Because it had been Big Gulp day in the cafeteria I really had to go, but I knew better than to ask again, so I simply squirmed in my seat hoping for the bell to ring. Outside of some funny looks for squirming, I was holding my own as they say, but as the clock ticked past the half hour mark I knew it was a loosing battle and I felt a spasm, a trickle and then a flood as my bladder let go.

Mr. Patsy, as a math teacher, had particularly keen observational powers and no sooner had I finished peeing my pants than he asked “Mr. Shay, would you mind explaining that puddle beneath your desk?”

OMG! I was sooooo embarrassed

“I peed my pants.” I told him, hoping he might appreciate my honesty and let the matter drop.

“I see that Mr. Shay.” He said, NOT letting the matter drop. “Please go to the see the school nurse. I’m certain that she is well versed in dealing with children who wet their pants during the middle of the school day.”

“Nurse sir? I didn’t know the school had a nurse? I thought that through a series of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to lower the litigation risk to the school system that school nurses were a rapidly disappearing resource amongst the American education system?” I asked with wonder in my voice.

“She’s British, Mr. Shay” Mr. Patsy explained with obvious patience which caused the whole class to laugh at my ignorance.

“Yes sir.” I said as I left the room to the chorus of laughter.

It took me a minute to find the nurses office, it was located near the playground as I expected, however quite strangely you had to actually walk out of the building and through the crowded playground to get to the entrance, which was pretty embarrassing to do in wet pants let me tell you. The office was large and had a medical examining table as a central fixture. The nurse was beautify, MILFY and full boosemed and like all British nurses she was wearing an “I heart bondage” rubber apron. It was weird.

“'allo dear.” She said to me as she took off her apron and hung it on a peg by her desk.

“I um wet my pants and was sent to see you” I told her

“Another one eh? Well we know how to take care of pants wetters around here” She told me as she led me out of her office and through a door in the back.

The room she led me into was similar to the examination room, except this one had a broader flatter table which the nurse lifted me onto. Despite being very petite she was very strong.

Nurse Melba removed my wet pants and underwear along with my shirt and stuffed them into an incinerator that I hadn’t noticed in the corner.

“What did you do that for?” I asked her

“Oh those clothes were wet and I’m drying them for you.” She told me while she pushed me back on the table and did a strap across my chest, that’s when I realized what this table was. It was a…. wait for it…… a changing table!!!1!

“We don’t want you falling off.” She said as she tightened the strap.

“I’m 11, and unlike an infant I have exception motor skills that are near their peak of acuity” I reminded her

“Be that as it may, you could fall off” she said as she pulled the strap harder still. She fished out a folder from the file cabinet on the wall “Kyle Shay isn’t it?”

“Yes ma’am” I said

Nurse Melba using her finger to mark her place as she read muttered to herself “Shay, Shay. ah here it is. Shay.” she thumbed through the documents for a moment and then looked disappointed “I see from the authors notes that there is to be No Enema, and No Spanking. I must say I don’t approve.”

I didn’t clearly hear the rest of what she was saying but it sounded like something about her agent, I’m not sure what any of it meant except that I liked the no spanking and no enema part best.

Still shaking her head she brought over a large folded object that looked to have shiny plastic on one side with absorbent material on the other side and elastic at key points all around it. At first I thought it might be a diaper, but how stupid would that be?

“Whats that diaper looking thing you have?” I asked her.

“It’s a nappy” She said

“Isn’t that just another way of saying diaper? Rose by any other name and all?”

“I’ll teach you to quote Shakespeare at me” She said as she reached in her pocket and grabbed something that she shoved in my mouth.

It was a pacifier and I spit it out with a resounding “Yuck!”

“Why’d you do that for?” She asked with a quirk of one eyebrow

“I don’t know where it’s been. You just had it lying about, that doesn’t seem very sanitary to me. I mean there’s pocket lint on it, that’s just gross”

She reached up and with a sniff put the pacifier back in her pocket before slipping the diaper underneath me.

She then used a diaper wipe, well actually it took several since I was bigger than a two year old, but Melba cleaned me and then sprinkled powder on my groin and taped the diaper up. I hope my erection didn’t give anything away, but I really liked her putting me into a diaper.

“Don’t worry dear I get a lot of kids in here like this, happens all the time it does. And it’s a miracle too, with us not having funding for luxuries like books and teachers that the administrators do a right good job of keeping enough diapers in a wide variety of sizes on hand just for these occasions. Now then let me find you some dry clothes” Melba told me as she began rummaging through a cupboard.

She brought me a shirt with some writing on the front “Someone I know went to Florida and all I got was this stooopid diaper because I piss my pants like a baby.” It was very small and didn’t come down very far at all leaving much of my diaper exposed.

“Well I’m afraid that I don’t have any trousers that will fit over your diaper, but I do have these early 80’s shorts that are now unfashionable short and revealing” She said holding up a pair of gym shorts.

I pulled on the shorts hoping that no one would notice the waistband of my diaper as it rose a good several inches over the waistband of the shorts and might be noticeable if someone were paying attention.

“Okay I believe you are all set except for calling your parents so they may overreact this afternoon when you come in from school.” Nurse Melba explained.

“Do you have to?” I asked her pleading despite already knowing the answer.

Deprived of her national pass-time of administering enemas and giving spankings Nurse Melba was still going to do her duty so beyond my token protest I resigned myself to my parents finding out about my accident.

“Back to class with you” She told me with a pat of my diapered butt as she maneuvered me toward the door.

Next Chapter: Kyle comes home!

Chapter Two

I got off the school bus and waddled my way to my house which luckily for me was only a couple of houses from the bus stop. I heard a few snickers from the other kids which gave me a few minutes pause, I wasn’t sure exactly what they were laughing at but what if somehow they had noticed my diaper sticking over the top of my unfashionably short 1980’s shorts? Well that didn’t seem too likely I convinced myself so I moved on letting them laugh at whatever it was they thought was funny.

“Hey Kyle wait up!” I heard my friend Willie Whitter calling from behind me.

“Hey Willie” I said as he caught up to with his odd gait that reminded me of a ship heaving back and forth.

Willie is my oldest friend, we met in kindergarten and have been friends for at least 10 years since. Willie is kind of unpopular and the other kids often call him names, which is mean. Sad Willie, sad.
“I heard about what happened in math class!” Willie told me

“Yeah it’s a bummer isn’t it?” I said knowing that if anyone felt my pain it was Willie “Of course I don’t know ANYONE that likes linear geometry.”

“DUH, no I was talking about you wetting your pants” Willie told me with a look of what might be consternation. Willie wasn’t always quick on the uptake, I think I heard him mutter ‘dumb-ass’ under his breath. Willie was always being hard on himself.

“Hey don’t sweat it, your not a dumb-ass.” I told him with big smile.

“Yeah whatever. So you had to go the nurses?” Willie asked me

“ah, well yeah that did suck too” I said shuffling my feet “and that witch Melba said she was going to call my Mom and Dad so they could overreact.”

“Ouch! And with your mom’s temper. Woo. Sucks to be you” Willie said with grim determination “But on the bright side I figured you might want to sleep over this weekend?”

“If I am not grounded sure that would be awesome!” I said suddenly excited at the prospect, my elation tempered with a small bit of suspicion “But one question. Considering your resolute and diligent avoidance of sleepovers, for all the years I have known you, what has changed that suddenly you want me to sleep over?”

Willie looked thoughtful for a moment before looking down at his feet. Willie was given to periods of introspection from time to time and with all the patience of my 11 years I waited for him to collect his thought.

“Kyle, I can tell you but you have to promise that you won’t be upset if it seems like an overused plot convention often used in lieu of building strong or realistic characterization. You see like you I have a wetting problem.” Willie sounded almost breathless at the end, as if his admission had taken all the fight out of him.

“Oh… Is that why the other kids call you Willy Wetter?” I asked “Cause if so the nickname makes more sense, I always thought it was just an odd way to pronounce your name?”

“OMG! Now that you mention it, that must surely be it! WoW! And to think all this time I assumed they were making fun of me for wetting, and instead couldn’t pronounce my name. Thank god you figured it out….”

“Your welcome”

“Kyle you’re a fucking idiot.”

“I’m just sayin…” I said picking up on the sarcasm in his tone.

“Well I gotta go. I’ll look for you on Friday night then!” Willie said as he took off across the street

I walked through my yard and tip toed across the front porch. Mom’s car was in the driveway, so I knew she was home. I was going to have to sneak all the way to my room if I had any hope to change clothes before she noticed anything amiss. My hands were shaking a little as I put the key in the lock, but it turned easily enough. I opened the door, holding my breath, but Mom wasn’t waiting on the other side, so I climbed the stairs and except for an annoying rustle that was coming from my diaper I made my way silently down the hall and toward my room.

Felling victorious, I flung my bedroom door open, slipped in side and closed it behind me. I had no sooner pulled down my unfashionably short 1980’s shorts when I heard a funny noise from my closet. Startled I pulled my pants up and walked to the door which was standing a bit ajar. I had just picked up my hockey stick when my Mom flew from the closet.

“Hello dear! How was school?” Mom asked.

I could tell I was in trouble. Mom never sounded that nice, nor did she ever call me dear.

“Fine.” I lied to her as I went to sit on the bed. Perhaps she’ll just leave I silently prayed to myself.

“That’s nice. Is that the ‘Someone I know went to Florida and all I got was this stooopid diaper cause I piss my pants’ shirt the one that Grandma Chadkowski got you when they went to Florida?” Mom asked sweetly.

Phew, she didn’t ask about the diapers. Safe at last. “Yeah it is” I say smiling at sweet smell of getting off Scot free - perhaps Nurse Melba hadn’t called after all.

“I think your lying to me” Mom says coyly “And do you know why I think that?”

Keep cool Kyle, let’s not make this any worse “Because Grandma Chadkowski never went to Florida?” I replied coolly.

“Because she’s dead Kyle. Dead, since before you were born. Now next question are you wearing a diaper?”

“yes ma’am.” I say hoping that shifting into polite mode will lessen her anger.

“And why are you wearing a diaper?” Mom asked

“Because it was big gulp day at the cafeteria and”

“and nothing! Enough of your excuses, I got a call from Nurse Melba and I assured her that I would go above and beyond what any reasonable human being would do in this situation. So you just sit right there, young man. I am going to leave you in your room now and drive away for a half hour or so where I hope to find at a local store what most people have to order off the Internet. And if I do manage to find the things that I hope to buy then I am going to use them in a way that is completely unconscionable to humiliate you while introducing some non incestuous sexual tension. Now you wait right here until I get back.!”

Boy Mom was pissed.

True to her word Mom returned with several bags, which for some reason were filled with packages that resembled diapers. I wondered what they might be.

“Now Kyle, I’m going to teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget” Mom said while she snapped open a trash bag. “See all this underwear we just bought you for school? It was expensive and now it has to be thrown away to illustrate just how serious we are about punishing you. Money doesn’t grown on trees you know”

“umm okay” I said leaving her to her work as I slipped out into the hall.

“Hey Mom, is there something wrong with the bathroom door?” I said trying to open it.

“Haven’t you been listening? It’s locked Kyle, you’re not to use it”

“But doesn’t it lock from the inside, you know to ensure privacy while using the restroom?” I asked looking at knob.

“Don’t you get smart with me young man. The bathroom is off limits and that’s final.” She said.

“So um what do I do about going potty?” I asked her

“You use your diaper. It’s diaper PUNISHMENT” She said before saying something about wondering why she even bothers.

“Why am I in trouble again?” I asked

“For wetting your pants” Mom said evenly, I could tell I was making her even madder.

“And now, you want me to wet my pants more?” I asked trying to wrap my head around the situation.

“Yes, That’ll teach you.” She said

“But don’t you see by forcing me to wet and punishing me for the very same that you are setting up a vicious cycle of punishment from which I might not ever escape?”

“I’ve had it with you and your drama and that bad attitude. Just you wait till you’re father gets home.” Mom practically yelled.

I had in the mean time wet my diaper so not wanting to get myself in even more trouble I walked to end of my bed, and picked up one of the bags of diapers. I opened the pack and pulled out the disposable and laid it on my bed.

“Do you need changed sweety?” Mom asked. It was kind of strange, all the anger had drained from her voice, replaced with an almost husky quality.

Not wanting to anger her I simply nodded.

She pushed me back onto my bed and pulled down my unfashionably short 80’s shorts before untapping my sodden diaper. She rummaged in one of the bags she had brought in and pulled out a box of wipes and she proceeded to use a hand-full of wipes to clean me up before putting me into the dry diaper I had set out.

“Now you just play on the Internet unattended while I go and take my vodka tonic and medicine. Your Father will be home soon.”

Next Chapter: Meet my Dad and siblings!

My father got home with my Brother and Sister, both of whom he had picked up from their after school activities, my older sister Emily played basketball and my younger brother Toby had soccer practice (I wasn’t playing this year - but I was pretty good, my brother was better).

I pulled a pair of shorts on (regular shorts this time, not the unfashionably short 80’s shorts) and a new t-shirt. Unfortunately all of my t-shirts had been damaged in the washer and had lost one or two inches of fabric at the bottom, but there was nothing I could do about it so I guess a bit of diaper had to show. I could hear Toby in the bathroom so I guess he must have gotten a key, still I had to wonder what kind of bathroom locks from the outside?

“Kyle” My dad called to me as I came down stairs to the living room.

“Hi Dad.” I told him. He didn’t sound too mad, so that was good. My dad was cool like that.

“Emily - now go change for dinner like we talked about” Dad told my sister

“UUUUGH Do I have to? That’s going to be sooo embarassing. He’s the one in trouble so why should I have to do anything???” Emily practically shouted at my dad.

“Young lady! We already talked about this, not another word! NOW GO get ready for dinner.” Dad told her firmly before turning his paternal gaze on to me.

“Sit down son, we’ll chat a minute before dinner” Dad said taking his easy chair.

“Yeah dad?” I said sitting across from him on the couch which in turn caused my diaper to bunch up between my legs.

“I heard you had a problem today at school?” Dad asked leaning forward to look at me

“Well yeah kind of.” I said. It was strange, I could almost see where this was headed.

“Well I know you’ll try harder in the future won’t you?” Dad asked with certainty in his voice, like he was proud of me. Good ole Dad knows I do try my hardest.

“umm sure I think so. No…… No…. I know so. I will try harder in the future!”

“Well I know so too! That’s a good boy! Now go help your mom set the table” Dad told me before giving me a swat on the butt as I passed his chair.

That went better than expected I thought to myself, maybe Dad was gonna let me off easy knowing how far Mom had already taken things. My luck was running good, it turned out that I didn’t have to help Mom as the table was already set, so instead I was sent to get my siblings for dinner.

I opened Toby’s door and told him it was time to eat and then I stopt and knocked at my Sisters door “Emily mom said it’s time to eat” I told her knowing better than to just open the door.

“In a minute you little shit.” She yelled at me through the door.

“What’s eating you?” I asked her, well really I asked her door with it’s pink girls rule, boys drool sign plastered in the middle.

“I said leave me alone. I’ll be down in a minute, this is all your fault. I’m at an age where I am hormonally unstable and emotional in an entirely single faceted manner. I hate you! I want to be in my own diaper story, not yours you little fucktard.” She yelled again sounding like she was really upset.

Wow she was moody! It must be that time of the month if you know what I mean. Since there was nothing I could do I went back downstairs and sat in my spot next to my brother, my Dad sat at the head of the table. Mom was bringing over the last dish from the counter to set on the table so she hadn’t yet sat down but I could tell from her body language she was still spoiling for a tussle.

“Honestly Kyle, I thought I told you to get your sister.” Mom scolded as she sat down.

“I did” I protested

“Emily Shay! Get down here to dinner right now” Mom yelled

We all sat for a moment in tense silence, the quiet spreading over the house so that we could all hear Emily’s bedroom door open upstairs and her footsteps on the stairs.

“Do I have too?” She kind of mewled from the hall.

Mom’s eyes glinted with anger and then softened “Yes you have too. I’m not going to do this all alone, and besides it’s what the nice man on the Internet said we needed to do for your brother. You want Kyle to get better don’t you?”

I wasn’t prepared for what happened next as my back was too the kitchen door, but when my sister walked around the table she wasn’t wearing any pants. She had on a camisole and a pair of hot pink thong panties with little white hearts on them.

“That’s my girl.” Dad said “now what do you say to Kyle?”

My sister turned to me and she looked like she was rehearsing the words inside before she finally started. “Kyle you are a dirty dirty boy, in your diapers and I am your older sister in a sexy thong. Don’t you just feel more dirty and more boy like? Ohh I am so clean and feminine.” she took a breath and continued “You are a diaper boy, and according to the man on the Internet only by having awkward sexual tension between us can you truly appreciate your diapers. Dirty boy.”

Emily sat down with a sudden plop and looking embarrassed she studied her empty plate.

“Emily….” Mom warned.

Emily just sighed and got up, she gyrated her hips a couple of times and then sat down while looking at me and saying “dirty boy, dirty boy, dirty boy”

“Thank you dear, that wasn’t so bad now was it?” Mom told her with a smile “Now who wants pot roast?”

“I do!” Dad said holding his plate out.

We ate and talked about stuff. Well when I say talked I mean we all talked except Emily who whined a bunch about how this was so unfair to have her punished when I had done wrong. After I had finished my roast but before I got stated on the vegetables I heard the front door open and some loud thuds from the front of house. I turned to look but couldn’t see much with my back to front of the house, but it sounded like about twenty people had come in.

“Don’t mind them Son, they’re just work crew I had hired. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I suppose they made a little too much noise.” Dad told me between mouthfuls of pot roast.

“A surprise?” I asked suddenly wary, I mean I do like surprises but sometimes they’re not like you expect. Like sometimes your parents redo your bedroom into a nursery in the course of an afternoon, you know one day you come home from school and bam! All your furniture is gone and a bunch of baby things are there in their place. Who ever expects that?

“I bought you new furniture, for your bedroom, from the Hernandez family down the street.”

“Oh I know them! Didn’t they come from some other poorly constructed diaper story?” Mom asked cheerfully.

“Yeah, but there was only a paragraph or two written for them, so with out work they had to move here. We bought all their furniture, and hired a crew to redo your room. They assured me that they had done half hour transformations to hundreds of kids bedrooms and that most of the times the kids never noticed.” Dad exposited for my benefit.

Just then a man came into the kitchen, his name tag said he was ‘Miguel’.

“Mr. Shay, there isn’t room enough for changing table any idea where you might want it?”

Before Dad could answer Mom chimed in “Oh put that in my daughters room, so she can change him.” Mom smiled at Emily and Emily smiled at me, and I’ve seen warmer smiles on the faces of serial killers before their execution.

“Great! Your one lucky little boy” Miguel said ruffling my brothers hair.

“I’m not the diaper boy” My Brother said pointing at me “HE IS. See the tell tale short t-shirt and most importantly the diaper he is wearing. I do not wear diapers.”

“Oh well give it a couple of days. I’ve transformed hundreds of kids bedrooms before, and trust me, in another chapter or two you’re going to be diapered.” Miguel said with an air of sage authority

“Well I won’t like it.” Toby said folding his arms across his chest.

“Chez, that’s true. At first, but trust me, if this story isn’t abandoned then before you know it, you’ll be out in the front yard in a diaper. It’s inevitable.”

“Who’d like Pie?” Mom asked

“I sure would!” Dad said with a smile.

“Me too!” Miguel said “and do you think she could do her thong dance once more time?”

Next chapter Kyle goes to Group Therapy.

Directors cut feature!

Hello! My name is Anna Lindsey and I play Email Shay in this story. A lot of people have asked for my thoughts on this pile of crap story and I agreed (Well I was contractually obligated) to provide a short bio piece. I started acting when I was in high school and by my second year of college I had moved onto several regional novellas and some fanfics (Many of you will recognize me from my role as Wilma Denning, traditionally played by Erin Gray, in Buck Rodgers in Buck Naked in the 25th Century). Even before graduating my career was on a one way trip to the top and I was flying high. A few mistakes with some drug stories and suddenly work started drying up. I never gave up hope though, I knew it was only a matter of time until someone imagined me into a real novel, written by someone with talent and with my big break I’d live the dream. However, in the months that followed I found out that there are a lot of other imaginary people auditioning for roles in these stories and sometimes working is better than waiting tables, you know? So anyways My agent signed me on for this, I mean it’s great that I can still play an angsty high school girl and all at my age. But after reading through the first few chapters I think I am going to get a new agent. This is just crap, I’d quite reading if I were you. If anyone wants autographed posters, I sell them for $25 a piece at furry conventions!

I looked back over my shoulder as my dad drove away from the building, leaving me in the small glass lobby of the Wasinak County library. There was a poster, whose edges had begun to curl from the humidity, depicting a book which was opened to it’s middle and looked as if it were flying birdlike above a canyon with ‘Books let your imagination soar!’ written across the bottom. Stoopid poster. I pushed my way into the larger lobby which housed double doors on one side that led to the library proper while several meeting rooms abutted the opposite wall. I scanned the signs at each of the smaller doors trying to find the room I was supposed to go to. “12 steps to a sober new you!” probably not mine for at least a few more years. “Learning to be nice. Stoping bullying behavior” defiantly not mine but a glance through the open door and I was sure I knew every kid attending. The last door “Keeping dry. Fact or Fiction?” Bingo there’s my room. Mom and Dad thought a support group would help me stop wetting. Everyone else in my life was insane and I was being shipped off to therapy.

I guess it’s better to spend the hour in the room than outside in the hall I told myself as I pushed the door open. I swear it was like out of a movie - imagine a typical Hollywood group therapy scene. There were metal frame chairs, the kind with the coarse plastic seats, arranged in a circle each with a kid in them except for one that had a middle aged woman sitting facing into the circle. She was tall for a woman and thickish without seeming fat - she had curly hair and glasses that hung down her shirt on a chain.

“Come in come in! We were just getting started! You must be the new boy, Kyle. I’m Norma and I’d like to validate your positive centers and affirm those feelings of self certainty. Sit sit sit, sit anywhere you like.” Norma said making some kind of flapping gesture with her arms.

I took the only seat available, my own diapers rustle was drowned out by everyone else’s as they shifted in their seats. They were all so quiet, just kind of staring at me.

“Everyone, this is Kyle. He is going to introduce himself in a moment, but first let’s all build a bridge to understanding and share a bit about ourselves!” Norma said as she turned her arms out like she was hugging everyone all at once.

The entire group was silent.

Norma looked pleadingly to the group “Who will be the first to say I am unencumbered by fear? Anyone”

When no one spoke she said “I think everyone just doesn’t want to hog the spotlight, but it’s okay! In my session each of you are stars! So Jared, why don’t you go first?”

A boy, apparently Jared, stood up. He looked pretty normal, if he was diapered it was hard to tell. “My name is Jared, and I just moved to this town. I didn’t want to wear diapers but I stayed at a friend’s house and my friends parents decided I would wear a diaper while there. When my parents found out they felt the added cost of diapering and all the extra time spent changing my diapers was just the thing that was missing from their lives.” Jared let out a little nervous cough before sitting back down.

The next kid stood up, he was noticeably tan and had sun bleached blond hair. “I’m Arvin and I surf and stuff, and it’s waay cool. I wear diapers which is a bummer, but it’s kind of cool too. I surf and it’s awesome. I’m soooo conflicted and that makes me cool.”

“Very good Arvin. Way to share! MetWessy724, would you be next” Norma asked

MetWessy724 stood, which didn’t take much effort as his enormous diaper bulge meant he only slight adjusted his angle between sitting and standing. “Hi my name is MetWessy724, I like poop.” MetWessy724 giggled after saying poop. “Poop!” MetWessy724 giggled some more “I live under a bridge and eat Billy Goats which then sit in my stomach and turn into poop….”

That was one strange guy i thought as MetWessy724 sat back down, I could swear I heard him say “poop!” once more under his breath as he let out a little barely audible giggle.

Well no one can be any stranger than that.

The next kid was a bit older he looked like he was fourteen or so “I’m Todd and I wear diapers along with my cousin who is also my half brother because my father had an affair with his sister in law. My best friend also wears and my Aunt and Uncle help me find situations to show off my diapers”

I don’t normally think in chat speak but seriously WTF. Scratch that it can get stranger, it just did.

The last chair before getting back to Norma was occupied by a tall thin boy with dark hair the most serious look ever. He stood with an almost robotic precision “My name is JD. I’m a special forces assassin computer hacker and all around angsty rebel who helps out the police, who also just happened to be a internet sex slave with a bomb in his back before being adopted by rich people who misunderstand me.”

Did I already use WTF? It was then that some movement caught my eye from the corner of the room. I could see someone under the table. but with the other participants in my line of sight I couldn’t tell much.

Norma followed my gaze “That’s Roger. He’s a bit skittish. Come on out Roger, don’t be shy. Come meet our new friend Kyle. Everyone here likes and understands you, we all want you to be yourself.”

Even all the strangeness of the last few minutes hadn’t prepared me for what happened next. The boy who came out from under the table was wearing a squirrel costume, and the squirrel was wearing a t-shirt and had on a large cloth diaper. I assume from the padding at the waist that there was a real diaper on the boy underneath the squirrel suit.

“I’m Roger. I’m a squirrel!” Roger said with boundless enthusiasm as he shook his bushy tail that was poking out of his diaper.

JD sprung to his feet, causing Roger to scamper back under the table. “I’m also an Royal SAS Ninja Squirrel who got to join a foreign army at 10 years old, but then I had to quit to be a sex slave. But I can kill you with an acorn, if you’re not careful.” JD’s rising tone and sudden outburst caused MetWessy724 to convulse and shout out “POOP!”

“Very good everyone! Kyle tell us all a little about yourself. And please give us lots of free expression and sharing energy!”

I stood back up and I let my gaze wander over the assembly at least assured that no matter how crazy my stuff was it was nowhere near as odd as the others.

“Hi, I’m Kyle and I wear diapers.”

On cue a chorus of “Hi Kyle” came from the others, punctuated with a “poop! giggle

“Very nice Kyle. Why don’t you share something with us about your week?” Norma asked this time moving her arm in a circle like she had an invisible magic wand.

Like magic, my audience suddenly looked very bored and restless. “Well my Mom does some of the weirdest things” someone yawned. “Like the other day when she made me go to the mall” I heard 8 plastic chairs shift as everyone sat up bolt upright and suddenly instead of bored they looked on with rapt attention. They all spoke in unison “ooooooh the mall”

“I don’t need anything from the mall” I protested standing there in my PJ bottoms with my cereal bowl in hand.

“Kyle, you’re going and that’s final. I need to shop some and it’ll be a lot more distracting for me if I have you and your brother along. Now go put some clothes on and let’s go. End of discussion”

“I need changed first” I reminded her

She didn’t even look at my diaper before waving her hand “No, you can wait until later. Now march!” She said stabbing a finger toward the back of the house.

My brother Toby looked torn between not wanting to go and the glee of seeing a sibling getting yelled at. I think glee won out as I’m pretty sure he was grinning at me when I left the kitchen.

I climbed the stairs to my room and undressed opening my closet, moving aside the chair mom likes to sit on when she is ‘hiding’ in my closet. I pulled a pair of pants down from the hanger and pulled them on over my diaper. I noticed the back pocket had an appliqué of Elmo on it, it looked like it was stapled to the denim with insulation staples. I suppose that was my moms way of sewing.

I pulled the pants on knowing there was no point in trying to remove the Elmo patch and grabbed a shirt from the back of the closet. I had to pull from the back as one or two shirts a day were being ‘mangled by the washer’ is how mom put it. I think she actually thought that I believed her when she said the washer was eating an inch or two from the bottom of all my shirts.

We got to the car and I started to get in on ‘my side’ behind the driver when Mom said in her I’m losing patience voice “No Kyle, you’re riding on the other side” and she walked around and opened the rear passenger door.

“What’s that?” I asked pointing to the car seat.

“It’s a car seat sweetie, so you will be safe” She said as if this were logical.

“I know what it is, and I’m too big for it anyways.”

“Kyle, I’m sick of your sass all the time. You’re going to ride in your car seat and thats final. Jesus, quit complaining and get in. See your acting like a three year old, that’s why you have to ride in a car seat. It’s the law”

I got in the back and like I knew it would be, I was simply too wide and too tall for the car seat.

Mom tried pushing me, having me hold my breath, scrunching up as small as I could but she eventually gave up. “Seriously Kyle, I think you do these things just to be difficult. Just go sit in your normal seat. Toby honey, come here”

Toby’s expression dropped in the split second it took him to figure out what Mom expected of him.

“Your father and I spent good money on this car seat so someone is going to ride in it and since your brother is too big, you’ll have to be a big boy and ride in the car seat okay?”

A few minutes later Toby was strapped in. Toby had to kind of force himself into the seat but Mom finally got the harness latched.

Like I said Toby wasn’t grinning now. In fact he looked pissed and the glare he gave me said he thought this was ALL my fault.

We got to the mall and we followed mom into the entrance just off the food court. I followed and Toby had to kind of ran to catch up since he had to work out a catch in his side from riding all bunched up.

The three of us stopped at the big mall directory sign and Mom studied it for a moment. “Do you still need changed?”

“No my diaper magically dried itself on the car ride here” was probably not the answer she was looking for and since I could only imagine what was coming next I was left with no choice but to say “I think I’ll be okay for a little while”

“Here let Mommy check” She said as she tugged the front of my pants down and stuck a very cold finger down the front of my diaper. “You fibber, you’re soaked. Todd you need to tell me these things so you won’t leak. Let’s get you changed”

“Um who’s Todd?” I asked her thinking she must have gone a bit off.

“I don’t know what your talking about.” She told me sternly

“Well you just called me Todd.”

“No I didn’t, I’m sure I didn’t, I mean why would I do that? I’m fairly certain I would know if I did.” She said while fishing in her jacket pocket for a piece of paper which she pointed too “see here, it clearly say’s '[MOM] with hand in diaper You fibber, you’re soaked. Kyle you need to tell me these things so you won’t leak.”

“Yes, that’s what it says on the paper, I see that, but that is clearly not what you said. Look back up there on the page just four lines prior - you call me Todd, it’s right there”

Mom looked furious at my challenge, I knew I had gone too far this time.

“Young man! Just what I have told you about breaking the fourth wall? We’ll deal with this when we get home.” She said tugging my arm

We walked across the food court to the restrooms and Mom with a hand still on my shoulder guided me toward the mens room. I stopped and reached for the diaper bag, so I could go change myself.

“No honey, I’ll change you.” Mom told me in her ‘sweet voice’

“That’s the men’s room Mom, you can’t go in there.” Again I had this surreal feeling that I should not have to explain this to my Mom.

“Nonsense I’ve seen lots of little boys and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.” She said still sweet but with a little steel creeping into her voice “Unless you’d rather I changed you in the lady’s room?”

“I could change him for you” a kind of gruff voice called out.

We turned to face an older man wearing thick glasses, a bit on the heavy side with hair just beginning to turn gray. Besides his shoes and socks the rest of his attire was covered by a long trench coat buckled tightly across his waist.

“Oh that would be too much trouble” Mom assured him.

“Nonsense. It wouldn’t be any trouble at all” The man said back graciously

“Mom. What if he is some kind of pervert?” I whispered sharply at her under my breath.

“Kyle, don’t be silly. What kind of pervert would hang out at a mall restroom hoping to change older children’s diapers? That just doesn’t make any sense.”

I guess the old man overheard us because he spoke up “These days you can never be too careful. Tell you what I’ll get these other people to come watch and they will make sure everything is on the up and up. Would that set his mind at ease?” He said pointing a finger toward a table with some other middle aged guys who were also all dressed uniform like with trench coats.

“That will be fine and thank you for changing him” Mom said as the group of middle aged men rushed me toward the restroom.

I’m surprised that the actual changing went pretty quick and was surprisingly painless, as someone folded down the changing table and put me on it while the other four guys all kept the table from breaking under my weight. They worked quickly and I was changed in a flash - but they didn’t let me leave until I answered a bunch of questions like “Does my sister change me?”, “Does she know that I am a dirty dirty boy?”, “Do I poop in them?” They wanted to know my name, and if my diapers were ‘exposed’ whatever that meant. It was like they were filling out a form or application. I slipped back outside and found my Brother and Mother waiting right where I left them.

“See nothing happened you sillybilly. Now let’s go.”

“Umm Mrs.?” Called the man from the doorway, with his posse peeking around the door.

“Oh yes? Thank you again for changing him” Mom said to the group.

“Can we change him too?” The lead man asked pointing to Toby.

“He doesn’t wear diapers. He’s a big boy” Mom told them.

“Are you sure he doesn’t need changed?”

“Oh yes, quite certain”

The men shuffled out of the restroom as a group, each member looking as sad as an overweight balding man in a trenchant can look without actually applying clown makeup.

Suddenly my story was interrupted by a forlorn cry of “Poop!”. I looked around expecting everyone to still be paying rapt attention, but instead everyone looked like they were bored to tears again.

“We’ll thank you Kyle for ‘sharing’.” Norma said making sharing sound like an accusation. “I know you are new here, but maybe next time you could share something a little more original? If I had a dime for every time a boy has been changed in the mall bathroom by well meaning strangers…but I guess not everyone can be honest all the time and besides you have plenty of time to open up”

Norma stood and with her hugging motion she addressed us “We’re going to close tonight’s meeting with a special treat. We’re inviting the kids from next doors bullying session over to help them learn about the importance of empathy.”

Norma walked to the door and spoke to someone in the hall who led in a slightly larger group of kids. I recognized most of them from my school, which is pretty much about par for the course.

“Now everyone choose a bull… er buddy. A bully buddy! Everyone get a bully buddy. Bullies there are enough pants wetter’s for everyone here so please don’t be shy. Share! Share! Share!”

Next chapter Kyles sleep over

Friday afternoon I got of the bus and followed my friend Willie Witter toward his home. Willie is a good friend, but he can be a little dull sometimes. You might remember that Willie was the kid that everyone called Willie Wetter and Willie just let me assume it was becuase they couldn’t pronounce his name. It turns out that in fact it was becuase Willie wets his pants. I had a sinking suspicion that might have been one of the factors contributing to his avoidance of sleepovers.

“I gotta go by my house and get my things” I told Willie as we passed my house
“Nah, I think my Mom went and got your things from Your Mom.” Willey told me

We got to his yard and Willie went over to his Father and greeted him with a “Hi Dad!”

Willies dad, wearing a leather bustier and a collar was chained to a small spike a few feet from a small shelter that Willie had built him the year before. Dad was painted happily across the front of the small structure. Mr. Whitter on all fours made contented sounds around the ball gag in his mouth and he rapidly bounced one leg as Willie told him he was a good dad.

Willies Mom was none other than Debbie Dallas Whittar the famous actress. My dad had most of her films.

“Hello boys! Did you have a good day at school?” Debbie asked us she appeared to be wearing nothing but a silk robe

“Boy did I” Willie told her enthusiasticly.

“And you Kyle?” She asked leaning forward her robe opening a bit.

“Yea it was good” I told her

“Well we will have a great weekend around herel - maybe you can help me with my canning later on Kyle?” She said to me suggestivly

“Um. I’m only 11 -you’ll need to wait a few more years before you can Mrs. Robinson me Mrs. Whitter”

“Oh well you look so much older” She told said sounding more than a little dissappointed.

“It’s the diapers and onsie - everyone has been saying how much older I look. So it was an honest mistake”

“Speaking of diapers, let me change both of you” She saiid as she steered us toward Willies bedroom.

Now it was all beginning to make sense I had always tried to figure out why Willie had a chnaging table in his room.

Debbie spent a very long time cleaning my diaper area, she just kept wiping and wiping as if she expected something to happen. Finally she just looked disappointed and giving up she taped my diaper shut.

“Look this plotline isn’t going anywhere anytime soon so maybe it should be time for you boys to have a nap. That way you can both poop and we can have another diaper scene.”

Willie and I both looked at each other and as kids are obligated to do we protested that we didn’t want a nap.

“Now you boys be nice, I want to go smoke in bed and watch Oprah and when I get up later I want to have a horrible mess to clean up.” She told us making her request sound reasonable

Willie shrugged his shoulders in dissappointment before suddenly perking up “Well can we at least sleep in my cute and not at all scary crib that has the not at all scary locking top?”

“Of course you can sweetie. You and your friend climb in” She said opening the crib top.

“Umm I don’t mean to be a party pooper…” was all I got out before being interupted

“You pooped already? Isn’t it a bit early in the chapter to poop?” She asked

“No, no, I don’t mean to be the turd in the punchbowl” I tried to clarify, her expression was confused.

“What I mean, with no disrespect is um I don’t know about being locked in this thing. I mean come on, what kind of responsible parent does this? What if there is a fire?”

“Oh you silly billy. If there is a fire then I will let you out.”

“What’s that?” I asked pointing to the area under the crib.

“I’ll show that to you later on it’s so cool, it’s my shredded newspaper and dry twig collection” Willie said looking over the edge of his crib.

“But she said smoking in bed” I protested

“Relax, I get a lot of practice so I am good at it and I have never burnt the house down. Now go to bed”

If I managed to go to sleep I bet I know what I’m gonna dream about I thought as I climbed into the crib.

Debby secured the top with a row of combination locks and a final little flourish before turning on her heel and swaying seductivly from the room.

Sure enough I poopped.

Next Chapter: Kyle answers reader mail

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Apologies! Posted this in the wrong forum… Can a mod please move it?

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Utter genius. I haven’t roared laughter this hard at a diaper story since Diaper Story Hell! Please keep going. I’ll pay you. Do you take M&Ms? lol There was one thing though.

“Here let Mommy check” She said as she tugged the front of my pants down and stuck a very cold finger down the front of my diaper. “You fibber, you’re soaked. Todd you need to tell me these things so you won’t leak. Let’s get you changed”

I assume you meant Kyle. Or is this the totally non-cliche technique of the author inserting oneself into the story? lol

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

What an outstanding catch. As much as I’d love to claim that was cleverness by design, I’m afraid it is simply me showing off my fancy Viennese undergarments. Somehow I can’t write first person and it not end up me. I’m thrilled you enjoyed it an laughed some too!

It’s been a couple of years since I wrote any Kyle so perhaps I will crank out another chapter over the holidays. I’ll take a quick gander at Diaper Story Hell too - as I am unfamiliar with it.

Went up there and fixed the error too :slight_smile: - thanks again for pointing it out.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

No need to thank me, my screen-reader’s doing all the hard work. lol

If you want another hilarious read, check this out.,583.msg49071/boardseen.html#new

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Humorous, for sure. Not side-splitting, but worthy of a chuckle or two. Best part was when you “fixed” the typo. I’m still curious as to what the “fourth wall” is…

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

The fourth wall is essentially the audience, so for instance when Kyle says to look four lines up he is speaking in context of knowing he is in a fictional work. (See also “Arn’t they the people from the other poorly written diaper story down the street” and Emily’s rant that she wants to be in her own diaper story not her brothers and Miguel telling Toby to wait a chapter or two and he would be in diapers too. All of these items indicate the characters are aware they are ‘putting on a show’, an awareness of the fiction where they relate in some fashion directly with the reader.

Porky Pig’s 'That’s all folks" is one of the more readily remembered examples from pop culture, although loony tunes uses the device quite frequently like when Bugs says to the camera “Ain’t I a stinker?”. Some Loony Tunes/Merry Melodies characters depend on 4th wall for their characters to work - Fog Horn Leg Horn’s and Wiley Coyote (To a lesser extent than FHLH) are both prime examples. FHLH talks as much to the audience as he does the other characters, and without his running commentary to the audience he becomes a much more sympathetic character which makes it much less funny when his actions land him in hot water.

In writing it’s an easy gag and one I’ve always felt was funny when done correctly, so I try it and I think I’m clever and edgy and ever the good author of bad stories :slight_smile: (Like I always say if you can’t excel at doing something well you might be able to excel at doing something poorly :)!

Fourth wall - Wikipedia - has an ok, if a bit stodgy write up on the fourth wall.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

I just now made an account on here even though I come on like every week just to tell you this story was funny. Keep going with it. :smiley:

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

@daddy94 wow! Thanks. I’m so glad you have enjoyed it so far!

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Well done Todd. That was truly a work of art. Thank you so much for sharing. :slight_smile: I even loved the support group having the boys from Diapers and Sunshine. You are a very talented writer and alot of fun to read.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

First post.
Well, at least you picked a decent story to revive.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

First post.
Approved by admin.
Necro comment not necessary.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Besides isn’t necroposting a meme round these parts?

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Well, if you think about it; nearly every time one of our talented authors updates a story, it’s usually a necropost by general definition. :wink:

Edit: After reading, this was fucking hilarious.
There’s a decent amount of genius to this; glad I read it.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Thanks much, so glad you enjoyed the ‘bad story’. It’s funny, I’m mostly critical of my old writing and spend more time finding fault with it rather than enjoying it. I always want to revise and tweak and fix. (Or sometimes kill with fire.) I just can’t turn off being hyper critical.

Yet, with this, disposable non serious story I can do that. It’s weird, I still make myself laugh when I go back and read this, I always forget something about it, and its like reading it anew. Sadly most of the ‘in jokes’ and other stories referenced in it are way too old, for most people to get. Might have to do a new update and pick on some newer stories :slight_smile:

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Wow Verynope, I’m flattered. Thanks to both you and Rugbart for bringing back some good memories.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

I just finished reading this story and found it absolutely amazing! I noticed it has been years since anyone has said anything on this thread but I do hope that the author will someday finish it. I know to some people it mocks diaper stories, but it does it in a way that makes it funny and a very enjoyable read. It reminds me of films like ‘Airplane’ which mocked pretty much every airplane disaster movie out there at the time. This story does the same thing and could continue if the author chooses to continue it.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Years? The last 2 comments on the story itself aren’t even a year old… Last time I checked it is only April in 2017, and before yours the two most recent story comments were on the 8th and 9th of October in 2016.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Sorry, I made the mistake of looking at the wrong date. I just realized I was looking at the join date and not the post date. I didn’t mean to offend anyone and do hope that the author will finish the story and now knowing it wasn’t that long ago that he last commented gives me hope that he might still write more to this.

Re: Bad Story: The Adventures of Kyle Shay

Thanks Zachary for the kind words, I’m happy you enjoyed it. I keep thinking I might dust off some Kyle and write some more silly stuff sometime. Thing is lately I’ve been working on my other story Branded, and even though I post infrequently, I am working on it, just very very slowly.
I would love to revisit Kyle sometime, and who knows when that inspiration will hit? I have some ideas rolling around my noggin for the next time the right frame of mind hits.