As promised in the intro post I did, here’s a story. This was something that I wrote a while ago as just a fun project that was never really meant to see the light of day, but I think it turned out pretty good and eventually decided to share it. I’ve considered writing more stories (or at least one more) with these characters, but who knows if I’ll get around to that. This is being copied and pasted from a word document so I apologize if there are any formatting errors! It’s definitely pretty inconsistent in terms of indenting the first line of a paragraph, but it shouldn’t make it hard to read.
I hope you all enjoy it!
Seconds ticked by slowly, every one of them reminded me of how ridiculous this whole thing was. But I had agreed to it, though now I couldn’t exactly remember why. It was Friday night; I should be getting ready to go out to a party. Instead, I was sitting on my couch in my empty apartment, habitually checking the time on my phone and waiting for Tracy to arrive so we could get this whole thing over with.
Worse yet, she was late.
This whole thing was her idea, she was the one who wanted to do it, and she was late!
I checked my phone again. Only a minute had passed. I wondered what was taking her so long, and every minute that passed weakened my resolve to go through with this. It had taken her a while to convince me to do this in the first place. In the end, I knew it meant a lot to Tracy, and I had a feeling that, if the tables were turned, she would do it for me. It wouldn’t hurt to try it for her sake, right? When it was done, Tracy would be happy and then I would never have to think about this, much less do it, ever again. At least, I hoped that was how it would go.
If she took too much longer, I was going to lose my nerve. I picked up my phone and called her.
“Hey, Dani!” She answered the phone, “I know, I’m running late, I’m almost there, okay?”
“Okay, just hurry up, alright? I’m nervous enough about this as it is.”
“Oh, I know. But you know how much this means to me, right?”
“Yes, I do, and you are so lucky I love you enough to do this.”
“I know, and I love you so much for doing it. Hey, what’re you wearing?”
“Jeans and that Little Mermaid t-shirt you got for me. No bra, no panties,” I giggled a little bit and tried to sound a little sultry for that last part.
“Naughty,” she purred, “leave the bra off, but put panties on. Something cute, and no thongs. Oh, and…hair?”
“It’s just down, why?”
“Could you put in pigtails?”
“Pigtails? Really Tracy?”
“Okay, fine, pigtails. I’ll see you soon?”
“Yes, I’m getting in my car now; I’ll be there in less than 5 minutes.”
“Okay, love you,” I said before getting off the phone. I sighed, this was definitely going to be…unique.
As much as I hated to, I had to admit that the pigtails did look kind of cute. Never in a million years would I say it out loud, but they did. It was true.
It was then, as I was admiring myself in the mirror, that I heard my doorbell ring. It was Tracy, it had to be. I took a deep breath and made my way to the door. My stomach did little flips as I went. This was it, no turning back now. Anxiety filled in me; I wasn’t sure what to expect and that made me nervous. But this was it, ready or not.
“Hey,” I said a little nervously as I held the door open for Tracy. She was wearing a cute little sundress that made her legs look fantastic and carrying a big duffel bag in addition to the suitcase she was rolling behind her. “Wow…that’s a lot of stuff.”
“I know,” she laughed, “I…wasn’t sure what all to bring so…there’s another one in the car still.”
“I’ll go grab it,” I offered, holding my hand out for her to give me her car keys.
“That’s okay,” she set the duffel bag and suitcase down in the living room, “I’ll grab it, you just wait here. But, first…”
She walked over to me and embraced me, kissing me deeply. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this. You really have no idea how much this means to me.”
“Yeah, well…” I said, more than a little uncertain about the whole thing, “I do love you and all…”
“I love you too, did you put panties on?” She didn’t bother letting me answer, instead just slipping her fingers in the waistband of my jeans. “Good girl, now wait here and I’ll be right back.”
I threw myself on the couch as she went to grab the last bag. The suitcase and duffel bag stared at me and I stared back. What was in them? A part of me wanted to look inside, just a peek, but I thought against it. I wasn’t sure I was ready to see what she had brought. If I did, I might chicken out before it really began. Tracy would probably understand about that, but she’d also be crushed. There was no way I could do that to her. She had been absolutely giddy ever since I said yes. So I just kept staring at them.
“Okay,” Tracy said as she came in with yet another suitcase, this one slightly smaller. She set it down and then stood awkwardly fidgeting by the bags. “So…um…are you ready?”
“Yes,” I said, trying not to show how nervous I was. “But, how do we…?”
“Well, how would you be comfortable? I just want you to feel as comfortable as possible for this, so you tell me.”
“I don’t know a lot about this Tracy, it’s your thing. Just…do your thing and I’ll do what we talked about yesterday and just play along. I’ll let you know if I get too uncomfortable.”
“Alright, I…thanks again, Dani, really. I’m going to go back outside and ring the doorbell…and when you answer the door we’ll be in character, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, my stomaching flipping again. “Let’s do it.”
Tracy gave me another kiss before walking out the door and closing it behind her. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my anxiety. An eternity seemed to pass before the doorbell rang again. Even though I was expecting it, it made me jump. Alright, here goes.
I opened the door and look at Tracy without saying anything. Partly because I felt like that was what my “character” would do, and partly because I just really had no idea what I would say.
“Hey,” Tracy said, smiling widely, “you must be Dani! It’s so wonderful to meet you,” she said holding her hand out.
I shook her hand gently and remained silent.
“Aww, are you shy Dani? That’s okay. May I come in?”
I nodded and moved out of the doorway and then closed it behind her.
“So, I’m Tracy, I’m sure your mommy told you about me, right? Don’t worry, Dani, we’re going to have a lot of fun this weekend while she’s gone. Did your mommy feed you dinner yet?”
I shook my head, no.
“We can order pizza, would you like that?”
I nodded, yes.
“Can you use big girl words, Dani?”
“Yes, please,” I said.
“Good girl! Now go sit in the living room while I order the pizza.”
While Tracy pulled out her phone and began to dial, I walked into the living. Those damn suitcases were staring at me again. So far, this wasn’t so bad. I could handle being talked to like a child for a whole weekend. Unfortunately, I knew very well that there would be more. Lots more. I wondered how far it was going to go. Tracy had already told me how far she wanted it to go, but I wasn’t sure how far I was willing to take it before it became too much for me. I was still staring at the suitcase when Tracy came back in.
“Do you want to watch a movie, Dani?”
“Okay, what movie?” I had no idea what she was going to suggest. I didn’t really have any movies that would fit with the theme of the weekend. Did she think far enough ahead that she actually brought movies?
“Well, I brought a couple with me,” Tracy said, as though she could read my thoughts. She went to the duffel bag and my heart skipped a beat. She unzipped it, but from my vantage point on the couch I couldn’t see what she had in there. “I see from your shirt that you like Little Mermaid, and I just happened to have brought that, and…” Tract pulled a small stack of DVDs out of the bag and set them on the coffee table. It was all children’s movies, mostly Disney classics from when I really was a kid.
At least Tracy had good taste in kid’s movies. I had loved pretty much all of these when I was kid, and still had a special place in my heart for some of them. The shirt, for instance, wasn’t bought just for this weekend; Tracy had actually gotten it for me well before I ever agreed to this. Before I even knew she wanted to do it. In retrospect, I wondered if she had bought it for me because of her desires though. I guess it didn’t really matter.
“Little Mermaid,” I said, pulling it out of the stack.
“Oh? What about it?”
“I wanna watch Little Mermaid,” I held the DVD out for her. I suddenly realized one perk of this whole thing: I could get her to do a lot of things for me, which did seem fun.
“Okay, I’ll put it in.”
A few minutes later the movie was starting, and, I had to admit, I was looking forward to it. I had loved this movie when I was a little kid and had fond memories of it. However, I hadn’t actually watched it in years. It would be fun. Again, I could handle this.
“Alright, Dani,” Tracy said, “be a good girl and watch the movie, I’m going to go put some things away.”
She grabbed the duffel bag and headed off to elsewhere in the apartment. I could hear her moving around in the kitchen, putting stuff away in the fridge and in the cabinets and I was hopelessly curious about what she was doing. But the movie was starting. And, anyway, I had already decided I couldn’t handle any more of a glimpse of my near future than I already had.
“Dani?” Tracy called in a few minutes later, “Do you want me to bring you some Apple Juice?”
Apple juice? That was a weird thing to offer. But, then again, I guess it wasn’t.
“Yes please,” the words were out of my mouth before I could begin to ask myself the important question. How was it going to be served? Once again, my stomach flipped. I had a feeling she wasn’t going to just bring me a normal glass of juice. Other than that, I had no idea what to expect. I could hazard a few guesses, but…
My question didn’t stay unanswered for long. Tracy came walking into the room with, of all things, a pink, purple and generally pastel sippy cup adorned with Disney Princesses. Was it my imagination, or was I was noticing a theme here?
“Here you go, Dani,” she smiled as she held the cup out for me.
I stared at the cup. Did she really expect me to drink out of that? I was an adult, not a little kid who…uhg, this was what I had signed up for, wasn’t it? I took the cup.
“Thank you, Tracy.”
“You’re quite welcome! Now, why don’t you go sit on the floor and watch the movie while you drink your juice?”
Sit on the floor? Why did Tracy want me to sit on the floor? I guess it was a little more kid-like, but did she have to go to that great of detail? I guess it didn’t matter; it was her fantasy after all. I got off the couch and sat down on the floor. It was hard to get comfortable at first and the hardwood flooring of my apartment didn’t help any. Eventually, though, I ended up sitting with my legs crossed like I used to when I was a kid. It seemed appropriate.
Now, about this juice. I held the cup in my hand and looked at it skeptically. I’m sure I drank out of these when I was a little kid, but I didn’t specifically remember them. I wasn’t even completely certain how they worked. Like, did the juice just come out? Or did you have to suck? I thought about just not drinking, but I couldn’t just not drink the whole weekend and I highly doubted Tracy was going to relent on making me use sippy cups. I tentatively put the spout to my lips and tipped the cup back. Nothing. I sucked just a little bit and there it was, apple juice. Okay, that wasn’t that hard. And the juice was good, I never really drank apple juice anymore, I had forgotten how much I liked it.
Drinking out of the cup was weird, and I was a little self-conscious about it, taking only small drinks at a time to minimize how long the cup was actually in contact with my lips. Eventually, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Tracy looking at me and smiling. My cheeks started feeling a little warm; I was blushing. I had a feeling I was going to be doing a lot of that this weekend.
I sighed inwardly and looked at the cup. Better guess used to it, and to being watched. It was just a cup, after all. I lifted it to my lips and sucked away. It wasn’t so bad, sucking on the sippy cup was kind of soothing. Besides, I could still see Tracy watching me, and smiling. I didn’t understand what it was about watching her adult girlfriend drink from a sippy cup that gave her so much enjoyment, but if such a simple, if slightly embarrassing, act could make her so happy then I could manage it.
By the time the pizza arrived, the sippy cup was empty.
Tracy paused the movie while she got plates for the pizza.
“Dani? Do you want more juice to go with your pizza?”
I nodded and handed her the sippy cup so she could fill it up. A moment later she returned with a full sippy cup for me, a can of soda for her and plates for us both. She sat on the floor with me and handed me the cup before making me a plate.
“Do you need me to help you eat, or can you manage it?”
“I can do it,” I said as I picked up a piece of pizza and bit into it.
Tracy just smiled and turned the movie back on.
As I ate my pizza and watched The Little Mermaid (which was, by the way, just as good as I remember it being) I thought the events of the evening so far. Being talked to like a little kid was a bit annoying at first, but, all-in-all, not so bad. Tracy offering to do all sorts of things for that I normally would have to do myself was kind of fun, even if her offers sometimes went too far. Like offering to help me eat. But I didn’t have to get up to get a drink or anything, and that was pretty nice. I did like pretty cute in the pigtails, and getting to watch an old favorite from my childhood was nostalgia at its finest. The sippy cup was, well, kind of weird, but not awful. It was even soothing in a way, and I definitely could get used to it.
So, really, it wasn’t that bad so far. I knew, however, that Tracy’s appetite had not yet been satisfied, and that there was more to come. I knew this because Tracy and been pretty specific about a few things, and I had agreed to them. It had been relatively easy to agree to them when they were still kind of hypothetical things, but now that they were looming on the horizon, very real and almost right in my face, I was starting to feel that anxiety rise up in me again.
The worst part, I realized as I finished off my second sippy cup full of apple juice, was that I had been speeding myself towards one of the things I was dreading without meaning to do so.
I finished my pizza and set the empty plate and empty cup on the coffee table. Tracy turned around and saw the empty cup.
“Do you want some more juice?” The question seemed somehow evil after my recent revelation.
“No, I’m good.”
“Alright, just let me know if you change your mind,” Tracy grabbed both of our plates and the pizza box and took them into the kitchen.
The movie was almost over, and my apple juice was coming back with a vengeance. I had, at least, realized why Tracy wanted me to sit on the hardwood floor now.
I couldn’t believe I had agreed to this.
“Are you okay?” Tracy asked. She must have noticed me fidgeting.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smiled at her before looking back at the TV. What had she expected me to say? She knew I agreed to this, and she wanted me to do it. Maybe she was giving me an out without really breaking character.
“Do you want me to pause the movie so you can go use the potty?”
My cheeks burned at that. No one had phrased a question to me like that in a very long time. Hell, I couldn’t even remember anyone asking me something like that. Well, not until now anyway. She was giving me an out, I decided. Or at least a postponement. It would be so easy to just say yes and go use the bathroom. But what if she had one of those training chairs you use on little kids? She wouldn’t go that far, would she? I really had no idea. It certainly hadn’t been something she had mentioned.
“No, I’m good,” I said.
Whatever misgivings I had now, I had agreed to it. I was going to keep my word to Tracy, no matter what. Even if that meant…well…doing this. We had agreed to do this two weeks ago, so I had that long to mentally prepare myself for this. But, to be fair, how does one prepare one’s self for this? I just had to remind myself that I was doing this for Tracy, whom I loved very much and would do anything for. Anything. Yes, even this.
And, as they say, there’s no time like the present.
I tried to remember when the last time I had wet my pants was. When I was seven, I had wet the bed once. It had been gross and cold and I had cried when I woke up. It had never happened again, thank God. One time, when I was fifteen, I remember being desperate to pee on a long car ride and I made it just in time, but my panties had still been a little damp. I barely noticed, to be honest, but had been ridiculously embarrassed when I realized it had happened. I spent the rest of the car ride paranoid someone would somehow notice, but no one did. And that was my history of post-potty training accidents. It wasn’t exactly an impressive resume.
Yet, here I was, watching The Little Mermaid with my bladder aching and about to willfully piss my pants. Dammit, Tracy better appreciate this.
Alright, I could do this. I took slow, deep breaths and did my best to prepare myself for what was about to come. I had no idea what it was going to feel like, so that was hard, but I promised myself not to freak out or let Tracy now how disgusting I felt doing it. I told myself the sooner I did it, the sooner it would be out of the way and then I could change. I relaxed, no longer trying to hold it in, and let it go.
Well, that was unexpected.
My bladder was still aching, telling my body it needed to get to a bathroom, and I was no longer trying to hold it in, but nothing was happening. My pants stayed dry and my bladder refused to release itself.
I pushed, now actively trying to pee, yet still nothing happened. I didn’t think it would be easy for me to do this, but I thought the blocks would be mental. There had never been a thought in my head telling me that I physically wouldn’t have been able to wet my pants. Once I made up my mind to wet my pants, it would be easy, right? Apparently not.
Maybe I should just wait until I was really desperate. Like, really desperate, to the point where my body would just take over. I wondered if I could hurt my bladder or something doing that and I realized I had no idea. It didn’t seem worth the risk. Already my bladder was feeling painfully full. In my normal life, I’d have dashed off to the bathroom quite a while ago.
I pushed again, and had to keep myself from gasping as I felt a short but powerful spurt of my own pee hit my panties and spread a weird sort of warmth around my intimate areas. It had barely been anything at all, but I definitely felt it. I glanced down at the crotch of my jeans, but I couldn’t see a wet spot. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks as I quickly glanced over at Tracy, but she didn’t seem to be paying attention. Somehow, I thought she was paying more attention than she let on.
Okay, despite that small success, this didn’t seem to be working. The prospect of forcing out small spurts of pee until I finally emptied my bladder seemed long and tedious. I had to approach the problem from a different angle.
I relaxed again. This time I just focused on the movie, trying not to think about what was going to happen. Yet, still, I could feel my body instinctively trying to hold on. When I focused on the water in the movie (which was easy, there was lots of it) I felt my need start to increase. Then I had a new idea. Once again, I relaxed my muscles, willing my body to just do what was natural, but this time I imagined myself sitting on the toilet. I told myself it was okay, I could let go, I was on the toilet where I was supposed to do this. I even started to imagine the sound it would make and tried to focus on that feeling of relief that came with finally sitting on the toilet and letting go.
At first, nothing happened, my bladder held strong. But then, after a few moments, I felt my bladder slowly losing its grip. It came slowly but steadily, but I was peeing. I was wetting my pants. The recognition of this fact made my body instinctively tense up, ceasing the soft flow, but I calm down, relaxed, and got it started again. I glanced down; there was a small wet spot that was steadily growing. The slow dribble was, in its own way, almost more agonizing than nothing. I pushed. Another quick burst hit my panties, but then slowed back down to a dribble. I pushed again, and this time it stuck. It poured out of me, full-force.
The hot urine soaked into my panties, a weird, wet feeling covering my intimate areas and creeping up my thighs just a little. Mostly, though, it rolled down, pooling around my ass. I could feel it spread across the seat of my jeans and, before long, it was starting to form a little puddle around me. It was warm, not at all like that cold, clammy feeling I remember waking up to when I was seven. I could smell it too. That sharp scent of pee filled my noise.
I couldn’t believe I was doing this.
And then it was over. I was done, finished. My bladder was empty, my pants were soaked, and I was sitting in a puddle of my own pee. When I looked down at myself, I could barely see the damage. There was a small spot, probably about the size of a softball, around my crotch, and it extended a little further up the sides of the my thighs, but I could feel that vast majority of my pee covering my ass and pooled out around me. Suddenly, I found myself having trouble grasping the reality of the situation. I had wet my pants. I had really done it.
I was sitting in the middle of my living room floor in piss-soaked jeans.
I wanted to change my pants. I wanted to get up and run to my bedroom and change. Wait, no, I wanted to shower first. Why had I just done that?
I glanced over at Tracy, who had her eyes fixed to the TV as the last scenes of The Little Mermaid played. If she knew what I had done, she was letting on.
The thought of Tracy seeing my like this suddenly seized me and I felt a panic attack rising in my gut. This was too much, too humiliating. Why had I done that? Why had I agreed to any of this?
I don’t know how long I sat there in an anxiety-induced stupor, but suddenly the credits were rolling.
“Did you enjoy the movie, Dani?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer.
“Dani? Sweetie, is something wrong?”
I looked at Tracy. I had no idea what my face looked like, but I’m sure the panic was clear on it.
“Sweetie,” Tracy said, getting off the couch and kneeling next to me, “What’s wrong?”
I looked at her, unsure of what to say and pretty sure I couldn’t say anything if I wanted to. I didn’t want her to see me like this, but it was too late. Her eyes wandered down to my crotch and the puddle that surrounded me.
“Oh, Dani, you had an accident,” she said it softly and gently. It wasn’t a judgemental statement, simply one of fact. It was even said with sympathy in her voice. But I couldn’t help but feel degraded by her words.
It was true though. Kind of anyway. It may not have been “an accident” exactly, but it had all the appearance of one.
I felt like crying. Or throwing up. Maybe both.
“Oh, sweetie, it’s okay! Really, I’m not mad!” She hugged me, being careful not to kneel in the puddle. “Accidents happen, Dani, it will be okay. Do you want me to help you change into some new clothes?”
I really didn’t. Having pissed my pants, and having her see me like that, was bad enough. But the thought of her helping me into new clothes was…humiliating. However, I had gone this far for her; I could go a little further. I nodded my head.
“Okay, let’s go,” She stood up and offered me her hand, which I took, and then helped me to my feet. She looked me over when I was on my feet, and I felt my cheeks go bright red. “Oh dear, you really did have an accident. Why didn’t you tell me you needed to go?”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just hung my head.
“It’s okay, don’t worry. Come on, let’s get you into dry clothing.”
She took me into my room and unbuttoned my pants before pulling the soaking garments off, and then following with the panties.
“Oh, hold on,” she said as she dumped the wet clothing into my laundry basket, “I forgot something.”
She rushed out of the room, leaving me feeling very exposed in the middle of my room. I could still feel the linger wetness on my skin and the smell of my “accident” still lingered. I stood there nervously awaiting her return. I had a sinking feeling I knew exactly what she was coming back with, and I was dreading it possibly even more than I had been dreading wetting my pants.
“Okay, sorry!” Tracy said as she rushed back into the room.
My heart leapt up into my throat and I felt that panic feeling rising back up when I saw the package in her hands. It was a momentary feeling though, and quickly passed. It was just baby wipes. The Huggies logo had sent me into a frenzy, but it wasn’t what I feared.
“Alright, let’s get you cleaned up,” She opened the box and pulled a wipe out. She wiped my thighs and ass before making her way to my intimate areas. An involuntary shudder went through my body as she touched me there, and a part of me felt disgusted for taking any pleasure in this. For Tracy’s part, she momentarily broke character as she looked at me with a flirtatious glint in her eyes, but then she was back to business.
I had to admit, the smell of the baby wipe was better than the smell of my piss.
“All done with that,” Tracy declared when she was sure she had cleaned all the pee off me. “Now, let’s get you into some dry clothes, okay?”
She gave me a big smile before moving to my dresser and opening the drawers. She, of course, knew exactly where to look. My panty drawer was first and she dug through it, clearly ignoring any of my more adult underwear. After a moment of digging, she produced a pair of pink hiphuggers with a white lace trim. Next came pants. She went through my drawers, obviously looking with a purpose. I had a feeling I knew what she was looking for, she had probably seen them in there before.
She didn’t surprise me.
She pulled out a pair of pink skinny jeans with rhinestones studding the pockets. They had been a gift from my grandmother a couple years ago. I had only worn them once…it had been to make my grandmother happy…and then never again. They were way to pre-teen for me. So, of course, those were the jeans Tracy had picked.
I suddenly realized that while I had only known about Tracy’s fetish for a few months, she had known about it for much longer. We had been dating for a little over two years, and she had been thinking about this stuff for at least as long as that. She had told me she had formed this fetish in her teen years, or, at least, had become aware of it then. I realized that she must have seen those jeans before and immediately thought of how perfect they would be.
And she was right. Aside from that one time, I had never worn them because they were perfect for her intentions, which made them completely imperfect for my regular life.
“Okay, here you go,” She said as she held the panties out for me.
I stepped into them and she pulled the up. The dryness of the panties felt fantastic. Next came the pants.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Pigtails and pink jeans. Yeah, Tracy had definitely considered this outfit before.
“There, all done,” Tracy said with a smile as she buttoned my pants. “Feel better?”
“Yes, thank you,” I replied. I did feel better. Drier. Even in this pink jeans, I felt more like the adult I was than I had a few moments ago.
“Great! Now, remember Dani, just tell me when you need to go to that potty, okay? We don’t want any more accidents.”
Of course, she was lying. She absolutely wanted at least one more accident.
Tracy cleaned up my puddle while I sat on the couch drinking more apple juice. Watching Tracy clean up my mess was almost as humiliating as the event itself had been. I was surprised by just how embarrassing this part was. Of course it was embarrassing to wet my pants, but there was something that was simply degrading about someone else cleaning up a puddle of your own urine.
I had been tempted to turn the juice down, but I knew it was pointless. I couldn’t go for the rest of the weekend without peeing, so I figured there was no point fighting it. Unless I choose to give in and tell Tracy I couldn’t do this anymore then it was going to happen eventually.
“Alright, that’s all taken care of,” Tracy said as she finished up. She walked into the kitchen to throw away the piss soaked-paper towels before coming to sit down next to me on the couch. “You okay, Dani?” She asked as she put her arm around me.
“Yeah,” I said weakly and nodded my head.
“Are you sure? We can stop if you need to.”
I could tell by the tone of her voice that although her offer was sincere she was clearly hoping I wouldn’t take it. Obviously, I was somewhat inclined to take her up on it, but I had promised her a whole weekend living out her fantasy. A whole weekend, geez. I wasn’t sure I could last that long. Especially since I did have a vague idea of what was coming. But Tracy had been so happy; I would feel like an absolutely horrible person if I put a halt on her dream now.
I really wanted to tell her I was done. Tell her that I didn’t want to have my hair in pigtails anymore, didn’t want to drink out of a sippy cup and wear clothes that made me look like a little girl. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t want to wet my pants ever again and I definitely didn’t want to do any of the other things she had planned.
But I couldn’t, and I knew that.
I didn’t trust my voice not to betray me, so I just smiled at her and started drinking from my sippy cup.
Tracy beamed and hugged me tightly.
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up,” Tracy said as she jumped off the couch. She set one of the suitcases down and opened, keeping the top towards me so I couldn’t see what was inside. “Wanna play a board game?”
Normally, I was a fan of board games, and Tracy knew this. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always loved them. When I was a kid, I played them all the time. As an adult, however, I never really got to play them very much. So it was no surprise to me that Tracy had thought of this, and I was kind of touched that she was trying to make this as fun for me as possible.
Now, with all that said, I was a little skeptical of her game choices. There was a Disney Princess themed version of Candy Land and Monopoly…which, of course, was also Disney themed. Well, it could’ve been worse.
“Which do you want to play?” Tracy asked as she held out the games for my inspection.
Either way, I was going to be playing a Disney themed game, that much was clear. That didn’t really bother me, but I suppose, when she mentioned board games, I had been hoping for something more…grown up. In retrospect, I could see where I had made my mistake.
I chose Monopoly, of course. I loved that game. No matter what variation or theme any particular Monopoly game had, it was essentially the same.
Tracy smiled, put Candy Land away, and started setting up the board.
After a few minutes of preparation, and a refill on my apple juice, we were rolling the dice.
Tracy had been right about one thing: the game did cheer me up. Before long, my mind was no longer dwelling on the whole embarrassing incident from earlier.
The game was spirited and Tracy and I laughed the whole time. It was the first time since she came over that I was actually feeling good, and not worrying about what was going to happen. Unfortunately, it couldn’t last forever.
As games of Monopoly often do, this one lasted a long time. Neither of us really realized just how much time was passing. So when I first started feeling the need to pee rising, I was surprised. Thinking it had been only recently since I last had to go through this, I looked at the clock and was shocked to find that a few hours had passed. And now I had to go through the whole thing again.
I didn’t have to pee very badly, not yet anyway. If I wet my pants now, rather than wait until I was getting close to desperate like last time, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. There would certainly be less pee, so that meant better, right? However, given how hard it was to go last time, I doubted I could manage it without a little more urgency behind my need. So I drank some more apple juice and waited.
I couldn’t believe I was actually thinking about what the best way to go about wetting my pants would be. It was kind of ridiculous.
I tried not to think about it, pushing it to the back of mind to deal with a little bit later. But as time went on, it became more and more difficult not to think about it. I couldn’t believe I was about to go through with this again, but one look at Tracy’s smiling face was all I needed to steel my nerves.
My desperation still hadn’t reached the same level as it had been for my last “accident,” but I decided that it was time. If I waited any longer than my resolve might weaken. I still wasn’t sure I could manage to go, but I had to try.
If Tracy noticed my shift from being very actively involved in the game to being slightly withdrawn as I started focusing on trying to wet my pants, she didn’t let on. She just kept playing the game.
“Okay Dani, it’s your turn,” Tracy said as she handed me the dice.
I was kneeling on the floor, sitting on my heels as I took the dice from her and started to shake them in my hand. In my mind, I was sitting on the toilet, relieving myself. This tactic had worked last time, so I had every reason to believe it would work again. As I tossed the dice on the board, I felt the first bit of moisture make its way into my panties. It was easier this time, if not by much.
My piece, Alice, was on the far side of the board from me. Fearing that any movement would break my concentration and make me start my toilet visualization all over again, I was hesitant to get up and move my piece. But I had to. I rose up off my heels, now standing on my knees and leaning over the board, with one hand on the ground to support myself.
That’s when it happened.
A dam broke somewhere inside of me and pee started to fill my panties rapidly. The warmth blossomed around my crotch and cascaded down my legs in what felt like a thousand little streams. Some of it traveled up my ass, but mostly it went down.
My reaction was instinctive. I dropped Alice on the board and my hand shot to my crotch, trying to stop myself. My body tensed up, the muscles in my bladder trying to shut it off, but it was too late. I gasped in shock and surprise.
It all happened so quickly that, for a moment, I forgot to be embarrassed.
Then it was over. The pink denim was visibly soaked and there was a puddle around my knees. I looked up at Tracy, who stared at me wide eyed and with her mouth slightly open. Clearly, she hadn’t been expecting that. Then the embarrassment started settling in.
For a moment, all you could hear in the room was the occasional drip as the last little bits of pee fell from my pants, adding their volume to the puddle below me. And then Tracy was up, moving to me. She knelt next to me and hugged me, stroking my hair with one hand.
“Dani, it’s okay,” she said softly.
I was in shock. It had been embarrassing, but not the soul crushing humiliation of the last one. No, mostly I was just shocked. It had all happened to quickly I barely had time to think about any of it.
“These things happen,” Tracy continued, “but why didn’t you tell me you needed to go?”
“I…I don’t know…”
“Aw, Sweetie, it’s okay. But you really need to try harder to be a big girl, okay?”
“Let’s get you cleaned up; you’ll feel better when you’re dry.”
Once again she took me into my room. I followed in a sort of dazed state of mind. I didn’t say anything as she once again took off my piss-soaked jeans and panties before dropping them in the laundry. It was then that she must have seen the clock and noticed the same thing I had not too long before.
“Wow, look at the time Dani! It’s way past your bedtime. You must be exhausted, that’s probably why you had an accident. I’m sorry, I should have been paying more attention to the time. Do you want me to help you get ready for bed?”
“Yes, please,” I nodded but kept my eyes on the ground.
“Why don’t you climb on the bed and I’ll go grab your pajamas,” she said.
I nodded again and climb up onto my bed. I expected her to go back to my dresser drawers, but instead she left the room. I heard her messing with the suitcases again. She must have brought me pajamas or something. I wondered what horrible little girl pajamas she was going to make me wear to bed.
Tracy came back into the room a few moments later. I didn’t see her come in, I was staring at the ceiling, but I heard her.
“Alright, Dani, sit up,” I obeyed and she took my shirt off. “Arms up,” she said as she pulled it off, “leave ‘em there,” I did, and a moment later she was putting another shirt on me.
I looked down at it and was pleasantly surprised. It was nowhere near as bad as I thought. It was a little childish, but not overly so. The shirt was a simple, light pink tank top with Tinkerbelle on the front. And it wasn’t even an obnoxiously cute Tinkerbelle, just a simple black drawing. I could handle this.
She set down the matching shorts, light pink with bright pink and white stripe, before kneeling down and fiddling with something on the floor. I couldn’t see what she was doing, but it became obvious when she came back up with another baby wipe in her hands.
“Sorry Dani, I should have done this before I had you get on the bed. Let’s get you cleaned up real quick,” she went through the same process as before, wiping the pee off my skin.
It felt good, and not just the intimate areas. The wipe was cool and gave me goosebumbs. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Tracy cleaning me. It was almost disappointing when she was done.
“All done. Feel better now?”
“Yes, thank you Tracy.”
“You’re quite welcome! Now, go ahead and lay back so I can finish getting you ready for bed, okay?”
“Okay, thank you,” I laid back down and stared at the ceiling, waiting for Tracy to put the pajama shorts on. And probably some panties. I didn’t usually wear panties to bed, but I imagine Tracy would point out that a good little girl would or something like that.
“Now, Dani, I don’t want you to get embarrassed about this…”
My stomach dropped.
“…but, your mommy told me about your little, uh, nighttime problem…”
Oh no. Was she serious?
“…and with all the accidents you had today, well, I think it would be best if we had you wear some protection to bed, okay?”
I sat up on the bed and stared at Tracy. Sure enough, she was standing there with a diaper in her hands. It was the biggest disposable diaper I had ever seen. I had known this was coming, eventually. Tracy and I had talked about it, and I had agreed to wear them for her, just as I had agreed to wet my pants and everything else.
Suddenly, I realized Tracy was almost, if not just as, nervous as I was about this. She was clutching the diaper to her chest and fidgeting. The real, tell-tale sign though was how she chewed on her lower lip. I knew that sign. It was a clear tell that Tracy was nervous or worried.
At first, I couldn’t understand why she was so nervous. She wasn’t the one about to be put in a diaper, just like she wasn’t the one who had wet her pants not long ago. Twice even. Then I realized just how important this was to her. This whole thing was more than just a fetish to her; it was part of who she was. I could still remember what she had been like the night she had divulged her secret desire to me. She had been a wreck. For some reason she had been convinced I wouldn’t accept her and that I would be disgusted by her. I hadn’t, of course. I just hadn’t been excited to be a part of it.
Now, here Tracy was, putting herself out there again. This was no different than the night she had told me everything. Tracy meant the world to me; I wanted her to know I accepted her, no matter what.
“Okay,” I sighed inwardly, I had already wet my pants twice today, I couldn’t get much lower. “Thank you for taking care of me Tracy.”
“You’re welcome, now lay down so I can put this diaper on you. I’m really proud of you for not making a fuss over this, but this way you won’t have to wake up in a wet bed,” Tracy was smiling from ear to ear as she unfolded the diaper. It was even bigger than I had thought.
I laid back down, stared at the ceiling and closed my eyes. On Tracy’s command, I lifted my hips up and held them in the air while my girlfriend slipped a diaper under me. I could hear the plastic of it crinkling already. She placed a gentle hand on my hip and pushed be down on top of the diaper. A chill went up my spine…I couldn’t believe I was doing this.
I kept waiting to feel the diaper come up between my legs, but it didn’t happen. Just as I was about to sit up and see what was taking Tracy so long the smell of talcum powder filled the air. I smelt more than felt it as she sprinkled some on me. Then there was more crinkling and, quick as that, I felt it closing it around me. It was surprisingly soft. I wasn’t sure what I had been expecting, but this wasn’t it.
“There,” Tracy said as she gave the diaper a couple solid pats, “All done!”
I opened my eyes and lifted my head to look at her. She was grinning. Tracy picked up the shorts and began to slip them up my legs. I lifted my hips once again so she could finish the task.
“There you go Dani, all ready for bed. Do you want me to tuck you in?”
“Okay,” I said and moved myself up on the bed until my head was on my pillows. The diaper crinkled the whole time.
Tracy came around to the side of the bed and pulled the covers over me. Then she kissed my forehead, “Goodnight sweetie.”
“Um…are you going to spend the night in bed with me?”
“Would you like that Dani?”
“Yes, very much.”
“Okay,” she giggled, “why don’t you relax while I go clean up and then I’ll be back.”
“Okay,” I said as she kissed me on the forehead again.
“Alright, I’ll be back in a couple minutes,” Tracy smiled and walked out of the room, flipping the lights off as she went.
I laid in the dark trying to process everything that had just happened. I had just been diapered for the first time since I was…what? Three? Something like that. Regardless of how long it had been, I was certainly too old to be in a diaper now. The experience was…odd.
The diaper felt bulky between my legs, it pushed my thighs apart and I couldn’t touch my knees together. It crinkled every time I moved. The feeling was vaguely like have a pillow stuffed between my legs. And it was soft. Much softer than I would have imagined. The plastic of the outside rubbed against the inside of my thighs in a weird way, but the inside pressed against me softly. It was weird and awkward and made me feel a little ridiculous. But…well…it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Though I doubted that I would be able to fall asleep with the thing on.
I sat up in bed and reached over to the lamp on my nightstand, flipping it on and giving the room a small amount of illumination. I pushed the sheets down and looked at myself. It looked even thicker than it felt, though I wasn’t sure how that was possible. The pajama shorts were clearly not designed to accommodate the added bulk of the diaper. The fabric of the shorts was stretched around the diaper, making it painfully obvious what I was wearing.
From outside the room I could hear Tracy moving around the apartment. She would be cleaning up the puddle I had made. And who knew what else.
I had a long day ahead of me filled with untold humiliation. I sighed, turned off the light, and lay back down. I tossed and turned in the bed, trying to find a way to lie that was comfortable given the added bulk. It was hard, but eventually I was able to get comfortable by lying on my side and throw one leg over my body pillow. It was still awkward, but I thought I could fall asleep like this.
I was exhausted. It had been a long, long evening full of all sorts of new and weird experiences. It was weird how much energy went into being embarrassed.
I was half-asleep when Tracy finally came back. I didn’t even notice she was there until she was climbing into bed next to me. I made a happy sound as she cuddled up next to me.
“Hey,” she whispered, “did I wake you?”
“Kind of,” I whispered back, “but it’s okay.”
Tracy put her arm around me and snuggled up close to me. “Hey Dani?”
I smiled. This whole thing was worth it to me if Tracy was happy. I had been reminding myself of that all evening, and it really was true. That didn’t mean I was willing to do it again after this weekend, but I could do it for a couple days if it would satisfy Tracy.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“It’s weird,” I said, being completely honest, “But I want to support you. It’s really important to me that you know I accept you, quirks and all.”
She was silent for a moment and I thought she might be drifting off to sleep, but then she spoke again. “It’s hard for me to realize that you do, but that’s my problem, not yours. But…I think I’m beginning to understand that you do. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said again and then yawned. I really was exhausted.
Conversation ceased and, before long, I drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up in the middle of the night it wasn’t a surprise. My middle-of-the-night pee was a nightly tradition for me.
What was a surprise was the extra bulk between my legs and the crinkling that came from under the covers when I moved to get out of bed.
Oh, right, the diaper.
I lay there, wondering what to do. I knew what I had to do, I just wondered if there was an alternative. There wasn’t anything I could think of.
Of course, I could just go to the bathroom. Take of the diaper and use the toilet like a normal person and then put it back on before getting back in bed. Tracy might notice though, and I wasn’t even sure if I could put it back on. Besides, this was part of what I had agreed to and if I hadn’t gone back on my word yet…
There was no alternative. I sighed, it couldn’t be any worse that wetting my pants.
I lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling. Mentally, I went through the same process I had used to wet my pants earlier. Pretending I was on the toilet, imaging the sound and the feeling of relief. Before long, I was peeing.
Much like the diaper itself, the feeling was nothing like I expected. I had been expecting it to be wet, similar if not exactly the same as the feeling my wet panties had given me. And, at first, it was wet. But then it wasn’t. I could feel the diaper expanded as it absorbed my pee. It pushed more against my legs and the padding on the inside pressed itself closer against my skin. There wasn’t any real wetness…just warmth.
My hand found its way downward, under the covers, and I prodded the diaper experimentally. It was squishy like gel. It was…unexpected. That was the only word that really came to mind. Well, there was another one, but I avoided thinking it.
It took me a while, but, eventually, I managed to drift off to sleep again.
When I woke up in the morning, Tracy wasn’t in bed. It wasn’t hard to figure out where she was based on the smells wafting through the apartment. She must’ve been cooking breakfast. It smelled like bacon, which definitely put a smile on my face.
Once again, the diaper caught me by surprise, but not as much as it had during the middle of the night. It was no longer warm, but it wasn’t cold either. I guess one could say it was comfortably room temperature. It was still squishy and bulky.
When I stood up, it sagged heavily; I could feel the pressure it put around the hips to keep from falling down. The way it pushed my legs apart made me waddle when I walked and it crinkled all the way to kitchen.
“Good morning!” Tracy said as I came into the kitchen. She turned to look at me and then giggled. She was, at least, courteous enough to cover her mouth when she did so, as if to hide her amusement. “How did you sleep?”
“Um, pretty good…”
“Well, I made pancakes and bacon, are you hungry?”
“Yes, I’d love some. Thank you Tracy.”
“Okay, just let me make you a plate.”
I stood in the kitchen awkwardly. Should I ask to have the diaper taken off? It was obviously wet, there was no way Tracy thought it wasn’t. And I had to pee, pretty badly at that. Should I just use the diaper? I didn’t know if it would hold it. I guess it would hold more than my pants would. Also, and I hated to even think this, but wetting the diaper had been more pleasant than wetting my pants.
“Oh, Dani! I’m sorry, you probably want that wet diaper off, don’t you?”
Oh, well, I guess I wasn’t going to be using the diaper.
“Come here real quick,” Tracy took my hand and led me back to the bedroom.
She pulled my shorts off and made quick work of taking the diaper off. The tapes ripped openly loudly. The air was cold against my slightly damp skin.
“Wow, it’s a good thing we put this on you! You really soaked it!”
I blushed at Tracy’s words.
She cleaned me up with the baby wipes before grabbing a pair of panties from my dressers (a plain pair of yellow panties) and sliding them up my legs, followed quickly by the shorts.
“There you go, all clean. Now, Dani, I want you to try really hard to keep these dry. No more accidents like yesterday, okay?”
“Okay Tracy,” of course, we both knew that wasn’t going to happen.
“Good girl, now let’s go eat breakfast.”
Tracy took me back in to the kitchen and grabbed a plate for me, placing it on the small dining table and gesturing for me to sit down. I did, and began tearing into the food. Tracy came back a moment later with her own plate and a sippy cup full of juice for me.
I still had to pee, and I knew I was going to have to do it in my pajamas, but it could wait until after breakfast. I drank sparingly. Every sip I took made me need grow just a little.
Worse yet, as I ate breakfast, my body told me I was going to have to do something else as well. That hadn’t been part of the deal, and there was no way I was going to do that in my pants. No way. I loved Tracy, but I hadn’t agreed to that and…I just couldn’t. I had been more than generous to her about this, going well past my comfort zone. But that…that was too far. I really hoped Tracy didn’t want me to do that. It hadn’t been mentioned, but…with everything else…
It was okay. I didn’t have to yet. I just knew I was going to have to soon. I could put off figuring that out for a little bit.
“How’s your breakfast Dani?”
“Very good, thank you Tracy,” It was nice to actually have a real breakfast. Usually, I just ate a pop-tart or a bagel or something easy. Before long, I was done.
Okay, it was time. I had to pee, and I couldn’t wait any longer.
Tracy smiled at me as she took the empty plate from in front of me. She took the plate, and her own, over to the sink and went to working on washing them.
I went to work on visualizing being on the toilet, the tactic that had been working for me. The sound of the water running in the sink made it easier. Almost too easy, which bothered me for some reason. The feeling of my own pee filling my panties was becoming a little too familiar. Like the first time, it pooled around my ass and began dripping off the chair.
There was something different this time. I didn’t feel as embarrassed this time. I guess I was getting used to Tracy seeing me in wet pants and, really, after you’ve had someone put a diaper on you what was the point in getting embarrassed over something like wetting your pants? I found that, in a weird sort of way, I was looking forward to having Tracy discover my accident. But, without the embarrassment of my situation weighing on me, I really noticed the way the warmth of my accident spread over my intimate areas and the way the wet fabric clung to me.
I guess what I’m getting at is…well…it didn’t feel bad.
“Oh, Dani,” I heard Tracy say. I hadn’t even heard her turn the water off I had been so absorbed in my own little world. “Another accident? I thought you told me you were going to try to keep your pants dry.”
“I know…I’m sorry Tracy.”
“What am I going to do with you? Alright, come on, let’s get your changed.”
Tracy, once again, took me into my bedroom and stripped off my wet clothing. “Really Dani, you can’t keep wetting your pants like this. I thought you were a big girl,” Tracy was trying to sound stern, but the slight smile on her face detracted from the effect.
“Hey, Tracy? Um…I need to…” I didn’t want to admit what I needed to do. But I didn’t have to, Tracy seemed to know what I was getting at.
“Oh, okay…go ahead and go then. And, you know what? Why don’t you take a bath, too? You probably need it to clean all that pee off you.”
A short while later, I was submerging myself into a tub full of hot water. It felt marvelous.
I heard a knock on the door, “Dani? Do you need help taking a bath?”
I thought about the offer, it could be fun. But, truthfully, I just wanted to take a little bit of time to myself.
“No, I’m good,” I called back through the door.
“Okay, just yell for me if you need help.”
And then I was alone with my thoughts.
I leaned back in the tub and let the hot water cover me. My thoughts drifted. Of course, they drifted to the recent events of my life.
It was strange. I had been so worried and anxious about this weekend. And, certainly, that was unwarranted. But, if I was being honest with myself, it really hadn’t been as awful as I thought it would be. Yeah, there was that moment of soul-crushing humiliation the first time I wet my pants, but now that I was getting used to it…
Getting used to it. How weird. I never would have thought of wetting my pants as something I could “get used to.” And there are the dining table…it had…dare I say it? It had almost felt good. Almost. I mean…it certainly hadn’t been horrible.
I still didn’t understand why Tracy was so turned on by it. I mean, okay, so it hadn’t felt bad, that much was true. But…
Oh, geez. I was so confused. I had built this weekend up in my head to be a labor of love that I was going to have to suffer through. Something I would do once for Tracy’s sake and then never, ever do again. On Sunday, when I had fulfilled my part of the agreement, I would move on with my life and try to forget I had spent a weekend wetting my pants and letting Tracy diaper me. But, that wasn’t how it was going.
As I sat in the bathtub, submerged in hot water and feeling completely relaxed, I made a commitment to myself. I was going to go into the rest of this weekend with an open mind. Previously, I would have said I was already doing just that. Now that I really thought about it though, I realized I had already decided I was going to hate the whole thing before it even started. That wasn’t being open-minded.
With a new outlook on the time to come, I finally got out of the bathtub. I dried myself off, realized I hadn’t brought any fresh clothes to put on, and just wrapped myself in the towel.
Tracy was waiting for me on the couch.
“How was your bath sweetie?” There was a small pile of clothing next to her.
“It was good. It was a terrific idea,” I smiled and walked over to the couch, the towel still wrapped around me. “Will you help me get dressed, Tracy?”
My girlfriend grinned widely at this, “Of course, I already picked you out an outfit. But, Dani, I think we should talk. Why don’t you sit down next to me?” She patted the couch where she wanted me to sit.
“Now, Dani, I know this is going to be hard for you, but I’m concerned about how many accidents you’ve had lately. I know you’re trying to be a big girl, but I think maybe you need a little help.”
“Oh,” I said, knowing where this was going. That was alright, I had been expecting it eventually but…I wasn’t ready yet. Not because I wanted to put off wearing diapers but, well, I wanted to try having another accident with my new open-minded attitude. Wow, I couldn’t believe I actually wanted to wet my pants, regardless of the reason. Yet, there it was. I couldn’t come out and say that to Tracy though…there was no way I could bring myself to admit that.
“Dani, don’t look so sad,” She said cheerfully, “This isn’t a punishment. And it’s just until you get better at keeping your pants dry, okay?”
“I know…it’s just…I promise I’ll try harder, Tracy.”
“I’m sure you will and that’s why we are just going to put you in training pants. That way you can still try to use the potty. It will be just in case, okay?”
“Tracy, can I please have just one more chance?” That would be enough. She could put me in a diaper after that. Or training pants, whatever. I just wanted to try it one more time.
Tracy looked at me in silence for a moment, the gears in her head obviously turning. I wondered if she knew what I was doing, or if she just thought I was getting cold feet. “You okay, Dani?” She asked at least, no longer using her babysitting tone of voice.
“Yeah,” I replied simply.
“Okay,” Tracy reached over and put her hand on my leg in a gesture of endearment. “Alright, one more chance. But if you have another accident then I don’t want to hear any argument about the training pants, do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Let’s get you dressed then. Stand up and drop the towel.”
Tracy dressed me in a pair of pink and white panties with a little black bow in front, a pair of pastel, floral print jeans that definitely didn’t belong to me, and a simply black babydoll top that did belong to me. Vaguely, I wondered where on earth Tracy found the jeans. I couldn’t imagine there were that many people willing to wear something like them past the age of ten. They fit pretty well though.
There was a disposable diaper sitting under the pile of clothing. It looked different than that one I wore last night. Not quite as big and it looked like it had elastic bands where it would go around my hips. It must be the pair of “training pants” that Tracy had referenced.
“There you go, all dressed. Now, what would you like to do?”
I didn’t know. I was used to being an adult, so I wasn’t even sure what a girl of the age I was currently pretending to be enjoyed doing. More so, I realized I wasn’t even sure what age I was supposed to be acting. A little girl, that was what Tracy had said. I tried to think of what I liked doing when I was a little kid, but came up blank.
I looked around the room looking for inspiration. The stack of DVDs was still sitting on the coffee table and there were a couple in there I really did want to watch. Monopoly and Candy Land were sitting in the corner, and I did love board games of any kind. There was also the suitcase in the corner. I had no idea what was in that.
Eventually, my eyes wandered back to the board games.
“Well,” I said, “we never got to finish playing Monopoly last night…”
“You’re right,” Tracy agreed with a smile, “would you like to play another game?”
“Yes, please,” I grinned. Monopoly wasn’t necessarily my favorite game, but it was up there. And, like I said, I simply loved board games.
I won. I giggled as I counted all my money. Tracy accepted defeat gracefully.
Throughout the game I had been downing apple juice at a quick rate, and I was almost ready to wet my pants. I felt…oddly excited.
The thing was…I didn’t want Tracy to be nearby when I did it. Not out of any sort of embarrassment, I was pretty much over that. But, I wanted a chance to really experience it, as I had committed myself to doing. If Tracy was there for the accident, she’d take me to the bedroom immediately to change. I didn’t want that.
It was almost lunch time, if I could hold it that long then I could do it while Tracy prepared lunch. I was assuming she would make lunch for me. It seemed a safe assumption.
“Can we watch a movie now?”
“Okay, but let’s clean up the game first, okay?” Tracy replied as she began picking up the pieces.
I helped her and, before long, the game was all packed up.
It didn’t take long for me to pick a movie. She had the old Disney Robin Hood movie…the one where all the characters are animals…another favorite from my childhood. I picked up the DVD and handed it to Tracy with a big smile before sitting on the floor with my legs crossed clutching my sippy cup.
Tracy obliged and put the DVD in before returning to the couch, “Do you want me to braid your hair while we watch?”
I didn’t answer at first. This was an unexpected offer. Certainly Tracy hadn’t mentioned wanting to braid my hair or anything of the sort, but, I realized, it was the sort of thing a babysitter might do with her charge. And why not? She should have started with that, she knew I loved it she played with my hair.
“Okay!” I said moving closer to her.
“Do you want one braid or do you want two braided pig tails?”
“Two,” I replied. After all, although the pig tails I had put in my hair had fallen out over night, I had looked pretty cute with them.
The movie started and Tracy went to work on my hair.
Half-way through the movie and I was still sitting on the floor. My hair was braided into two pig tails, my sippy cup was, once again, empty and I needed to pee. To be more specific, I needed to pee badly. If I waited too much longer then this was going to be a legitimate accident. While I had come to terms with purposely wetting my pants and was even tentatively looking forward to the upcoming incident, the thought of actually losing control was not attractive to me. So I held on, waiting for Tracy to go make lunch.
But she wasn’t showing any signs of budging. I had to take matters into my own hands.
“Hey Tracy? I’m hungy, can we have lunch?”
“Sure,” she said with a smile, “would you like me to make you a sandwich?”
“Yes, please,” I smiled as Tracy got up and moved to the kitchen.
I turned my attention back to the movie. But not for long. As soon as I was sure Tracy was gone, I relaxed. It was much easier this time. I just relaxed and pushed and…it all came flooding out.
It spread through my panties quickly. The smell of my ‘accident’ hit my nose almost immediately. It was…different. The warmth of it…the way the wet fabric clung to her…that niggling feeling in the back of my head that told me that I was doing something that was just wrong.
Did I love it? Well…no. Was it weird and kind of disgusting? Yeah, it was. Did it make me feel kind of ridiculous? Yeah, it did. But I had given it a chance, really tried it with an open mind. And…well…did it kind of turn me on? Yeah, it did. I couldn’t say why, but it did. Something about doing something I knew I shouldn’t be doing. There was a physical feeling that was certainly pleasant, but mostly it was that feeling of doing something so utterly against what I knew I should be doing that overrode the inner-disgust I felt over pissing my pants like a little kid.
I could hear Tracy moving around in the kitchen as I sat in my own puddle of pee. It wiggled my hips and ass, sloshing in the puddle and rubbing the wet fabric against myself. It was cooling down quickly, getting cold. Yet, for every degree it dropped in temperature, I felt myself get that much more excited about Tracy finding me in a puddle of my own pee.
God…what was wrong with me?
“Okay Dani,” Tracy declared as she walked back into the room.
I turned around to see her walking into the room with two plates, one for me and, presumably, one for her.
“I made us sandwiches and…oh, Dani, you wet your pants again. I thought you were going to be a big girl.”
A strange shiver went up my spine.
She gave me a condescending look and set the plates on the coffee table. “Really, Dani…”
I did my best to look ashamed.
“Alright, well, we made a deal, so you know what this means, don’t you?”
“Good. Get up.”
“Take off your wet pants.”
I did that too. I dropped them to the floor, bent down to pull them off my feet and then kicked them to the side. With my head lowered, I stood in the middle of my living room in sopping wet panties.
“Panties too, young lady.”
I followed these instructions too. Standing naked from the waist down, I could still feel the dampness on my skin.
“Now come here.”
I slowly shuffled towards her. The pair of “training pants” was still sitting nearby. I stood in front of Tracy, mentally preparing to have the training pants put on me. As it turned out, that wasn’t what I should have been preparing for.
Before I had a chance to realize what has happening, Tracy grabbed my wrist and pulled me down. I cried out in surprise as she pulled me across her lap. Her hand came down on my ass, ten times in quick succession. Each smack produced another yelp from me. They weren’t hard…not really hard anyway…the cries were more of shock than of pain.
And then it was over and Tracy was letting me stand back up.
I was in shock. I just looked at her, completely unsure of what to do or say.
“Now, I’m sorry I had to do that, but you have to learn not to wet your pants. I know you’re trying, but I think it’ll be for the best if we put this on you, okay Dani?” Tracy said as she reached over and grabbed the pair of training pants.
“Okay Tracy,” I said with my head hung low.
“Let’s go to the bedroom so we can get you cleaned up,” Tracy got up from the couch and led me by the hand into my room. She cleaned me with the wipes before sliding the pair of training pants up my legs.
I shifted my weight around and tested this new garment as Tracy went to get some new pants for me. It was soft and more form-fitting than the diaper I had worn the previous night. It was nowhere near as thick. The diaper I had worn the night before prevented me from touching my knees together and had made me waddle when I got out of bed. I could touch my knees together in these ones, albeit with more effort than usual, and I didn’t think it would affect the way I walked. They didn’t crinkle either…they rustled. And even that was very quiet. The diapers had been an entirely new and strange garment. These, however, were just like…like really thick panties.
“Here you go!” Tracy declared as she held out a skirt for me. It was a ruffled, dark blue skirt. Another article of clothing Tracy had brought with her. I had to admit, it was a pretty cute skirt. Sure, it had some childish notes to it, but I’d be willing to wear it in my everyday life.
I smiled, stepped into the skirt and let Tracy pull it up.
“All set, now let’s go eat lunch.”
“Now, Dani,” Tracy said as we sat down for lunch, “Just because you’re wearing training pants, doesn’t mean you don’t still have to try to be a big girl, okay? And if you do have an accident, I expect you to tell me right away.”
“Okay, Tracy,” I agreed as I shifted my weight, testing the feeling of the garment now that I was sitting down. It was almost like a thin cushion that followed me wherever I went. It certainly made sitting on the floor a little more comfortable. I thought about how much more cushioning the thicker diapers would give me and immediately felt embarrassed for even thinking about that.
I thought about what Tracy had just said. She knew I wasn’t going to ‘be a big girl.’ After all, that was part of the agreement. But did she really expect me to announce that I had just wet myself? I tried to imagine myself doing it. No matter how the inner vision of myself said it or phrased it the prospect still seemed silly. This was, however, Tracy’s weekend, so I guess if I could go so far as to wet my pants…or training pants in this case…I suppose I could go a little bit further and announce it.
After lunch, Tracy cleaned up while I sat in the living room. I took the moment alone to lift my skirt and investigate the ‘training pants.’ Such innocuous looking things. I had to admit, despite how silly I felt wearing them, they weren’t bad. Even still, I couldn’t understand why they were such a turn on for Tracy. I found myself wondering if she ever wore them, thinking that surely she hadn’t gone out and bought all these things for one weekend with me, but I decided that was a question for another day.
I dropped my skirt back into place as I heard Tracy’s footsteps.
“So, what should we do now?”
I thought for a second, and then grinned. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of this before. I jumped off the couch and skipped over to where I kept the remotes for my Wii. I grabbed two of them and held one out to Tracy, giving her my best pouty face. I guess it worked, because she chuckled and took it from me.
Yes, it was Tracy’s weekend, but in some ways it was mine too.
We played Mario Kart, something I rarely could get Tracy to do with me. Any video games for that matter.
After a few rounds, we paused for Tracy to use the bathroom. This produced a strange sort of jealousy in me.
While she was gone, I did some thinking. I had truly enjoyed getting to play board games and, now, video games with Tracy. It wasn’t that she didn’t also enjoy these things; she just didn’t like them anywhere near as much as I did and usually preferred to do other things. I guess I kind of felt the same way about…well…everything else we had done this weekend. Or maybe it would be more appropriate to say everything else I had done. And really, if putting on a pair of training pants was enough to get Tracy to be willing to play these kinds of games with me…well, I’m pretty sure I could make that compromise.
What the hell? Had I really just thought that? There was no way that thought came from my brain. And yet it had. The shock was not from the fact that I had just, in a small way, admitted that this whole thing was not completely terrible. No, I had already come to terms with that. It was from the fact that for the first time I had acknowledge that this may not be a one-time thing. Going into this weekend, I had the mind-set that this would just be to appease Tracy and then I would never have to do it or think about it again. But that wasn’t going to be the case, would it? Tracy would ask again, even if it took her a while to work up the courage again, and I would say yes. If not at first, eventually I would. I tried to picture myself doing this again. I tried to picture this becoming a regular part of my life. Suddenly, I found it hard to remember the things I had found that I enjoyed about it.
By the time Tracy came back, I wasn’t really in the mood to play anymore. I did anyway so she wouldn’t know something was wrong. By the second round, I was enjoying myself too much to think about it anymore.
“Okay, I think you’ve beaten me enough for one day,” Tracy said after we’d been playing for a few hours.
While I disagreed with the ‘enough’ qualifier, I had beaten her quite a bit. And, truthfully, the vast majority of the time she had won I had let her. What can I say? I’m just nice like that. Well…that and, in my experience, when you always win at a game people stop wanting to play with you. That’s why no one will play Words with Friends with me anymore.
I put a pouty look on my face, but Tracy seemed immune this time.
“Are you still dry?”
“What?” The question caught me by surprise.
“Are you still dry?” She repeated.
“Yes,” but, now that she had asked I realized I did need to go.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” it wasn’t the first time I had been so engrossed in video games that I hadn’t noticed the need to pee until I stopped playing and/or got close to bursting. This time it was ‘and.’
“Hmm…it’s been a while since you went, let me check.”
She looked at me expectantly, and I looked at her blankly. I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to do.
“Come on, stand up,” she urged.
This was, however, the first time I hadn’t gone running to the bathroom the first moment I noticed. As I stood up, I debated letting go right then, but realized I couldn’t finish before Tracy started checking. And that would just be too embarrassing.
It’s funny where we draw the line on things like this.
Tracy stuck her hand up my skirt. Normally, this would be an enjoyable experience. Considering, however, that it was a pair of training pants, and not a pair of panties, that she was running her fingers along…well…it dulled the enjoyment a little bit.
“Good girl,” Tracy exclaimed, “all dry. I bet you probably need to use the potty though, don’t you?”
“No,” I lied.
“Are you sure? It’s been a while…”
“I’m sure, Tracy.”
“Okay, well…” Tracy said with a hint of skepticism as she checked her watch, “it’s not quite dinner time…what should we do until then?”
I shrugged. I had no idea. A part of me wished Tracy would stop leaving our activities up to me. For the most part, I remembered what I liked doing when I was a kid, but they didn’t really interest me anymore. I didn’t exactly want to play ‘house’ or something…especially since Tracy would probably just make me be the baby.
“I brought some coloring books…” Tracy said.
I thought about that for a moment. That didn’t sound awful. I hadn’t really used a coloring book in a long time…but I had taken that art class once and enjoyed it, even if I felt kind of out of my league compared to most of my fellow students. Coloring was kind of like that, right? Well, it was close enough to pretend I guess. I agreed and Tracy went to her bags to get them. I knew they would be Disney themed before I even saw them.
It was closer to that art class that I thought. A lot easier though, that’s for certain.
The crayons felt small and clumsy in my hands…I remembered them being much bigger. Despite that, my pictures looked a lot better than I remembered them looking when I was kid. I managed to stay in all the lines too. A part of me mused on how the real measure of how much we’ve grown is how much better we can perform the tasks we used to as kids. Not that I really think that’s true, but it was an interesting thought.
Speaking of tasks we performed as kids…my bladder had not let me forget that I hadn’t relieved it since lunch time. I tried to hold on for a little bit longer, unsure of how long it would take Tracy before she checked me again and equally unsure I could bring myself to tell her I wet myself. I certainly didn’t want to sit around in a wet pair of training pants for a while. Sleeping in the wet diaper the previous night hadn’t been horrible, but that was different. I was asleep.
My body, however, had very different ideas on the subject. The desperation was getting to a point where it was starting to hurt. While I had never actually had an accident, I imagined that this was what it felt like when you were close and I figured it wouldn’t be long before nature took its course. I wasn’t about to let that happen. For some reason, I felt it more dignified to purposely wet myself than to actually have an accident.
Again, it’s weird where we draw these lines.
After a moment of concentration, I was once again wetting myself. Although the feeling was remarkably similar to the feeling of wetting the diaper the previous night, I was once again caught off guard by it. By the time I was finished, all I could really feel was warmth. The training pants felt two or three times as thick, and just as much heavier. My cheeks felt a little warm too and I wondered if I was blushing.
I stole a quick glance as Tracy, who was sitting on the couch reading a book. She saw me look at her though and gave me a smile.
“You okay, Dani?”
“Uhm…” I thought about telling her, but couldn’t bring myself to saw the words. “Yeah.”
She smiled and looked back into the book. Surely she knew what had happened…she had to. Any minute now she would casually get up, walk over and stick her hand up my skirt. Or she could just ask. I could manage to give her an affirmative even if I couldn’t actually manage the words.
Any minute now…
After a few minutes of distracted coloring, Tracy still had shown no sign of checking to see if I was wet. It was time to take matters into my own hand.
I finished my picture, stood up and walked over to Tracy. The training pants squished as I walked. “Hey Tracy, look at my picture,” I said as I held the book out.
“Wow, very nice Dani! It’s very pretty,” she smiled at me but made no other movements.
I stood there awkwardly, not sure what else to say but hoping that she would finally decide to check if I was dry.
“Dani, you okay?”
And finally I understood. I could tell by the look on her face she knew very well I was wet. She wanted me to say it. Damn it, Tracy.
I took a deep breath and said it in one quick, muttered sentence: “I-had-an-accident…”
“Sorry? What was that?”
I glared at her, realized there was no way around this and sighed.
“Tracy, I had an accident,” I repeated in a more normal tone of voice and speed of speech.
“Dani, again?” Mock disappointment dripped from her tone.
Tracy sighed, pretending to be exasperated but having trouble keeping the corners of her mouth from twitching upwards, as she stood up and took my hand. “Come on,” she led me into my bedroom and sat me on the bed.
“Sorry, Tracy,” I said, picking up on the fact the she was pretending to be angry at me for my accident.
“No, I’m sorry Dani, this is my fault,” I look at her quizzically, unsure of where she was going with this. “I’ve been getting upset at you for having accidents, but that’s just because I thought you were a big girl, and you’re not, are you? Lay down on the bed, Dani, let’s get the little girl back in diapers.”
I wasn’t sure if Tracy realized it or not, but she used the same tone of voice for that last line as she often used for…well…much more sultry things. I loved that voice. The tone of voice alone sent a shiver down my spine. The part of me that responded to that voice, however, was about to be disappointed.
When Tracy came back with the diaper, I was laying in the middle of the bed ready to be changed. She walked to the foot of the bed slowly, clutching the diaper and biting her lower lip. With one hand she set the diaper down on the bed as she moved my skirt up around my waist with the other. I could feel her looking at me, taking in my image. I could see the look in her eyes and I recognized that too. Then she surprised me.
Slowly, like a cat stalking prey, she crawled onto the bed and over me until her face was right about mine. “You know, I think you deserve something special,” she whispered.
I shuddered as her hand ran down my leg, coming to rest on my training pants and gently pushing against me. My body bucked of its own volition.
“I don’t think,” I said coyly as my breathing started to speed up, “that this is proper behavior for a babysitter.”
“I don’t think so either.”
I was still trying to catch my breath when Tracy announced my diaper change to be complete. She grinned at me as she patted the crotch of my diaper, my body shuddering as she did.
“Come out into the living when you ready…”
For a long moment I just laid there, staring at the ceiling with my thoughts swimming through my head with no particular order. A strange sort of realization came over me. A tension had been building up in me throughout the day and I had wanted that. I mean…really wanted it.
The implications of that made me uncomfortable. So I decided not to think about them.
“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Tracy said as I waddled into the living room.
I smiled but said nothing.
The diaper was thicker than I remembered it being the night before. It was certainly thicker than the training pants. It pushed my legs apart and made me walk weirdly. If the way I was walking didn’t make it obvious that I was diapered, the way it stuck out from under my skirt certainly did.
“You look cute,” Tracy said as I walked over to the couch and sat on her lap, the diaper crinkling between us. “I took the liberty of ordering us Chinese food.”
“Yummy, thanks Tracy,” I brushed my lips against hers and they lingered for a moment.
“What do you want to do while we wait?”
I shrugged as I slid off her lap and scooted away from her enough so that I could lie down and put my head in her lap. I was still glowing and I just wanted to lie down and be near her.
Tracy ran her fingers through my hair with one hand as she turned the TV on with the other.
Next thing I knew, I was being rudely shocked out of sleep by the sound of my doorbell.
Between my grogginess and my quick arrival into the waking world, I was momentarily confused by what was happening. Tracy was gently lifting my head off her lap and moving a throw pillow under it before running off for the door. Somewhere in the back of my head I remembered her mentioning that she had ordered Chinese food; that must be what the doorbell was about.
But what if it wasn’t? The thought made me sit up straight and the diaper crinkled under me as I did. What if it wasn’t the delivery guy (girl, whatever)? What if it was someone I knew who would want to come in and say ‘hi?’ I looked around in a panic and finally found the small blanket I usually kept on my couch. It neatly covered my diapered…so long as I didn’t have to get up.
And then the third point of confusion dawned on me. My hand reached up to my face and pulled something out of my mouth. I looked at it like it was an alien artifact. It wasn’t, of course. It was a pacifier. How had that gotten there? Of course, I knew very well how it had…
I heard Tracy giggling and looked up to see her standing in the entrance to my living room.
“Sorry,” she said. She was holding a brown paper back which I assumed was filled with Chinese food. “You look too cute, I couldn’t help it.”
I smiled weakly at her, unsure of how I felt about her sticking pacifiers in my mouth while I was asleep. Sure, it was a pretty small thing compared to her putting me in a diaper, but at least I had been awake for that and able to say no. I hadn’t said no, and I probably wouldn’t have said no to the pacifier, but it was the principal of the thing.
I might have been more annoyed if she hadn’t been bearing delicious food. As it was I just set the pacifier on the coffee table and forgot about the whole thing. “I’m starving, what did you order?”
We watched The Lion King as we ate. I had forgotten how good that movie was and found myself genuinely enjoying myself.
It felt kind of weird and inappropriate to be eating with chopsticks while I was drinking from a sippy cup, but I just went with it.
When the food was gone, I gave Tracy a sly look before grabbing the pacifier and popping it in my mouth. Clearly I had gotten over any annoyance at having it put in my mouth while I was asleep. The look of surprise on her face made me grin and I once again put my head in her lap. I watched the rest of the movie from that position. It was oddly soothing.
Before long I had to pee again, and I reflected on convenient it was to not have to get up in the middle of the movie as I let go. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was bothered by how easy it was getting to do that. I wondered if I should tell Tracy I was wet, but decided against it. She would figure it out eventually.
“Did you enjoy the movie?”
I yawned and stretched as I nodded. It was weird how tired I was, but I guess it had been a pretty long day.
“You look exhausted,” Tracy said, “and you’re soaked,” her hand had darted under my skirt so fast it made me jump. “Well, good thing we put you back in diapers. Come on, let’s get you changed.”
Once again, Tracy took my hand and led me into the bedroom. I still had the pacifier in my mouth as she laid me on the bed. I closed my eyes and relaxed, oddly at peace as my diaper was changed.
“There,” she said after what only seemed a few second, but must’ve been longer, “all finished. Do you think you’re ready for bed?”
“Yes,” I said, the pacifier muffling my words, “I’m really tired.”
“Would you like me to read you a story?”
I nodded, more because I could tell Tracy wanted to read me a story than for any other reason. Hell, I didn’t really care if she did or not. I just wanted to sleep, and that was going to happen very soon regardless of what else happened.
I heard Tracy leave the room for a moment. By the time she had come back, I had managed to get myself into a position more suitable for sleeping. Tracy pulled the covers over me before crawling into bed next to me. Then she began to read.
I have no idea what she read, I was too far gone to really listen to the words. Instead, I just listened to her voice and, before long, it was silence.
When I awoke, I was, once again, surprised by the presence of the pacifier. Even when I figured out what it was (it didn’t take me as long this time) I was still surprised that it had stayed there. I couldn’t remember the last time I had used one, but I must’ve been very young.
I had to pee, of course. That was what had awoken me in the first place.
I rolled over and wrapped my arms around Tracy as I let go. It made me smile to think that maybe, somewhere deep in her subconscious mind, Tracy knew what was happening. Of course, that probably wasn’t the case, she was probably blissfully unaware, but the thought still made me smile.
As I lay there, wrapped around Tracy with a wet diaper wrapped around me, I took a moment to reflect. I felt like I had been doing a lot of reflecting over the past day. And why shouldn’t I have been? It had certainly been an eventful day. Odd and strangely exciting.
If you had told me not too long ago that I would be spending a weekend like I had been, I would have laughed, maybe called you insane. Yet here I was. And, going further, if I had, for some reason, accepted the fact, if you had then told me it wouldn’t be so bad (maybe even okay or…dare I say…good?)…well, that would have been too much.
I still wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I didn’t hate it, I knew that much. Would I be willing to do it again? That was hard. There was an instinctive part of me that screamed no, but when that part of me ran out of breath other parts of me would pick up and say…well, maybe. It was true, I had found things about the experience that I liked. But, how much of that was me actually enjoying it and how much of it was me enjoying how much Tracy enjoyed it.
I loved Tracy, that wasn’t a question, and I loved making her happy. I loved giving her pleasure of any kind: physical, emotion, mental and any other kind you can name. Certainly in the past I had done things for the sole purpose of making her happy, but never quite to this extent. I had never pushed myself so far out of my comfort zone for her. Somehow, I knew I would never regret this weekend, even if I decided I never wanted to do it again, because of how much happiness it had clearly brought Tracy. With all that said, however, enjoying something because it gave her pleasure was not the same as enjoying it for what it was.
And, on that, I just didn’t know.
Part of me wanted to continue mentally examining this, but it was no use. One moment I was wracking my brain trying to find some kind of answer, and the next Tracy was kissing me on the forehead and whispering, “Good morning, Dani.”
Breakfast was an awkward event.
We didn’t speak much. Both of us knew this experiment was about to come to an end.
In Tracy I sense a little bit of sadness that it was all ending and anxiety over where we would go from here. I wanted to let her know that it would be okay. Even if I never did this again, I still felt no differently towards her than I had before. But I didn’t know how to tell her that. It seemed simple enough in my head, but the words wouldn’t come out.
Tracy changed my diaper before breakfast, but I was wet again by the time we finished. I could’ve waited until I was out of diapers again to use the bathroom, I knew she’d be leaving shortly after breakfast, but I guess it was my attempt to tell her that it was okay. I wasn’t sure if it worked or not.
“Well,” Tracy said once we had cleaned up after our meal, “I should get going…”
Every Sunday, Tracy made the three hour drive to have dinner with her family, which I thought was pretty awesome of her. I went with her sometimes, but I wasn’t in the mood on that particular Sunday.
“Call me when you get there?”
“Of course,” she hugged me, “uhm…do you want me to…” she pointed at the wet diaper.
I smiled shyly, “please?”
For the last time that weekend she took me into my bedroom, laid me on the bed and took my wet diaper off. This time, however, she hesitated when she was done.
“Panties,” I agreed.
Had I hesitated? I wasn’t sure. I mean, why would I have? It kind of felt like I had though.
I helped Tracy collect her things and carrying them out to her car. I gave her a kiss before she climbed into the driver’s seat.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you too…and thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Tracy.”
She promised once again to call me when she got there to let me know she had arrived safely and then drove off.
Back in my apartment, I wondered around aimlessly for a little while, the gears in my head turning but not really producing anything.
The panties felt weird. They were so thin in comparison to what I had been wearing that they made me feel a bit naked. I never thought I’d refer to panties as too thin, but there were lots of things happening that I never thought would.
That, of course, was when I found it.
Tracy and I must have overlooked it when we were cleaning up and packing everything away in her suitcases. It was one, lonely little pair of training pants sitting on my bedroom floor. I stood there like an idiot for a long moment studying it as if I expected it to…well…do something.
It didn’t. It just continued to exist.
My mind returned to my thoughts from the night before. Was it the thing itself? Or was it Tracy’s enjoyment of it?
“Well,” I said aloud to anyone who cared to be listening, “No point in wondering.”
Tracy was nervous.
It had been a week since Dani had spent the weekend regressing for her and while the girls had hung out since then, the subject of that weekend had not been broached.
And now, here Tracy was, sitting in her apartment waiting for Dani to show up to spend the evening together. Tracy had prepared a wonderful meal that was meant as a ‘thank you’ for what Dani had done for her. While Tracy had not explicitly said this to her, she hoped Dani knew.
For all Tracy could tell, nothing had changed between them. Dani hadn’t acted any differently towards her over the past week, but Tracy was still nervous. She could understand if Dani just wanted to forget about it and just let it be a one-time thing that was over and in the past (and if that was the case Tracy would be sad, but could accept it and move on) but the silence was killing her. She just wished Dani would say something about it…anything.
Of course, Tracy was far too nervous about the whole thing to actually bring it up.
Lost in worry and anxiety as she was, Tracy nearly jumped out of her skin when her doorbell went off.
“Hey,” she said as she opened the door, “it’s good to see you.”
The girls embraced before Tracy motioned for Dani to come in.
“Oh, wow, dinner smells amazing,” Dani sighed with a huge grin on her face.
Tracy just smiled and led her into the small dining room, where she already had the table set. She pulled a chair out for Dani, motioned for her to sit and then disappeared into the kitchen. She came back into the room balancing a tray of steaming lasagna in one hand and a plate of garlic bread in the other.
“Lasagna? Really? I love you so much,” Dani was practically drooling.
“I know it’s your favorite and I…Dani, I just really want to thank you for last weekend,” she blurted out in a moment of stupid courage. She immediately wished she hadn’t, but Dani did her part to diminish her feeling of regret.
“Tracy, I love you, you don’t need to thank me…it was…no big deal, okay?”
But it was, and Tracy knew it was. Still, she took it and smiled as she served Dani before serving herself and taking her seat at the table.
They ate and talked and laughed and it was wonderful. For the first time since she left Dani’s apartment that Sunday morning, things felt normal for Tracy. It was good to be back to normal, and Tracy finally felt like she could move on. Maybe one day she could convince Dani to give it another try, but if it never happened then Tracy would just cherish the memories of that weekend all that much more.
Before long, dinner was done. The girls didn’t move though, they sat there talking about random things for a long time. Tracy loved every moment of it.
“Oh, well, you know what I heard the other day? Supposedly she…” Tracy trailed off mid-sentence and paused. “Do you hear that? It’s like a dripping…sorry, hold that thought, I need to make sure nothing is leaking in the kitchen.”
“Yeah?” She said as she stood up from the table.
“Actually…uhm…I kind of had an accident.”