And this is why I do most things alone...

In my short, almost 24, years on this planet, I have come to the conclusion that I really dislike waiting for other people to do things. It’s one of the more annoying and constraining feelings that I experience, and I don’t fancy experiencing either of those feelings.

Of course, when you do things alone, most of the time, people around you have to comment on it.

My family has been getting onto me recently about my lack of social contact with the outside world. Don’t get me wrong, I really do enjoy hanging out with people; I’m at my happiest when I’m with a like-minded person. The problem comes with schedules, lives, and habits (like showing up late!) and other such things. People, in of themselves, are nice to be with; other things just make it a hassle.

My mother and I have taken up bowling on Sunday mornings. In a compromise to get her off my back about being social, I agreed to join a bowling league.

Tonight was the first meeting.

The brochure said to show up at 6:30pm; that’s exactly what I did (showed up ten minutes early, actually). There are four other people there along with me. Nothing seems to be happening beyond the lady at the front desk telling me that they’re waiting for more people to show up.

This is when I start getting annoyed.

The brochure said 6:30pm. For heavens sake, folks; show up at 6:30pm! But no; it was not to be. The lady at the front desk doesn’t even walk over to us (now three people, as two got bored and left) until a full 40 minutes later to tell us that the league has been cancelled due to a lack of participation. But wait; we’re free to join another league that meets the same night–it just doesn’t start for another half hour.

At that point, I gave up. I’m am too annoyed to wait any longer or postpone a later commitment that I made; so I left.

I’m not so self-important that I think I’m better than anyone else. However, to me, it’s a matter of respect to show up when someone (or something) tells you to if you wish to participate in some activity. Maybe my attitude comes from owning my own business; I have learned over the years that time really does equal money. But, most of the time, I just hate waiting.

This is why I do things alone. I don’t have to wait for me to show up; I am wherever I am. If I want to go somewhere, I just go. No calls, no emails, no plans, no wasted effort.

Re: And this is why I do most things alone…

Actually, I do.

If no one else wanted to participate, that fact should have been made clear before three people sat there for 40mins. This league had an online sign-up form. That could have been logged into and someone could have said… “Damn; only five people”, called us (as they had our numbers) and told us to not show up.

So, I could be annoyed at any number of two particular groups of people, 1. Those who forgot to show up, or 2. the front-desk staff who purposely waited so long before calling the league off and wasting peoples’ time.

The original point of the rant still stands - I hate waiting for other people to do things. The bowling league incident was just an example.

Re: And this is why I do most things alone…

Lower your expectations.

But I grant that your example is incredibly frustrating.

Re: And this is why I do most things alone…

Your frustration is familiar to me; I used to get annoyed (and still do sometime) that music venues never start on time and stuff like that. Over time, I guess I’ve just come to learn what standard fudge factors are and to arrive when I think things will actually start, instead of when they allegedly start. But it’s a stupid problem, and sometimes I miscalculate and end up missing something good.

The thing I find frustrating is the weird hours we keep. I’d love to follow the circadian rhythm, because it helps me sleep, but if I want to go out dancing at a club (and have someone to dance with) its pointless to be there before 10:00. I wish there was a good place to do these things earlier in the evening, but no.

Then there’s the people in my life that would be happy to just be a bump on a log. I used to wait for them, try to convince them to do fun stuff (by my definition) and they’d always find an excuse but seem open to maybe doing it in the future. Eventually I learned it’s up to me to just do what I want, and if they don’t want to join me then I shouldn’t put my life off thinking they might eventually decide to come along.

So since I’m kind of down on this online stuff (too much virtual time screws with the soul, I say) I end up doing a lot of stuff myself. It’s hard to push past my introversion all the time; you’d think it would eventually go away but it hasn’t. But at least I’m getting more of what I need, even if it’s intimidating to get it.