This settles some things, and set up others.
Hope you like it,
Gracie sat hugging him tightly. She looked back at everything that had happened, and then did something that she swore she would never do again, she let the memories of her time as an eight year old play through her mind. The two situations were so different it was startling. Not one interaction with her mom had involved a gentle touch, or a loving gaze. It was mechanical.
Alex had always been gentle, even when she was being hateful. He had looked at her with love in his eyes so many times over the last couple of days, that she couldn’t remember them all, and wanted to smack herself because she felt she lost something beautiful when she couldn’t remember.
It came out in a tearful rush. She couldn’t stop it; this time she didn’t want to stop it. “It hurt so much!” she cried. “Mommy wouldn’t hug me! She did all the same things she did for Katie, but not with the same care. She didn’t want the baby girl! She was angry and didn’t care that it hurt! I tried to crawl up in Daddy’s lap, but he didn’t want me up there. He said he didn’t want his lap to get wet. I cried and cried but he wouldn’t change his mind! I just wanted him to hold me like he did Katie!” she cried, and let out a long stretch of huge sobs. “I promised I’d be good, but it didn’t matter!”
“You didn’t care that I went pee pee in a dipey Daddy! You held me when I went poopy! You held me all the time, and were gentle and kind and loving, and I didn’t know why! I tried to make you mad yesterday! I tried so hard to make you angry. I don’t know why, but I wanted you to be angry with me.” she cried.
Alex felt like a fool. He should have seen it; especially after what she told him about what happened when she was eight. “Oh Baby,” he started, and his voice broke. “You were trying to get me to do exactly what I just did. You were trying to make me leave you, and like an idiot, I didn’t see it. The woman that you are wants to hold on to me so bad, but the baby girl is so afraid to get hurt, so afraid that I’ll change my mind, that you made it happen.”
Alex had had a girlfriend once, before he and Grace had gotten married. The woman did exactly the same thing. They had been dating for some time, and things were going well. When he proposed to her, she got angry. He didn’t understand what was going on. Little by little, she pushed him away until he had no choice but to leave. The last thing she told him was, “I knew you’d leave me sooner or later!”
He took Gracie by the shoulders, and pulled her back from him. She fought to hold on, but he was much stronger. “Listen to me Grace,” he told her in a stern voice.
Grace had the same fearful look with the wide eyes she had earlier, and he felt bad, but he wanted her to hear him.
“Tell me right now, do you want a divorce?”
“No!” she cried.
“I’m going to make this very simple. If I can’t have both the woman and the baby, I won’t have either. Do you understand?” he asked firmly.
Grace nodded her head.
“If you try to push me away again, the little girl isn’t the only one that’s going to lose me. I love you more than you could ever know, but I won’t have one without the other,” he told her. Not giving her any opportunity to speak, he turned her around and sat her in his lap, moving her skirt so her diaper sat right on his pants. Placing his hand down between her legs against the plastic of her diaper, he hooked his pinky into the leg gathers on the right side. “Go pee pee for me Baby,” he told her.
He felt her relax. A second later, he felt warm wetness soak his pants. When he felt the pee stop flowing from her diaper, he picked her up and told her, “Look down.”
Gracie looked down, and her eyes went wide when she saw that his pants were soaked where she had been sitting. Alex had to get a grip on his emotions when he saw the fear that filled her eyes.
He turned her back around, pulled her into a hug, placed his hand directly against her diapered bottom and told her, “I don’t mind getting wet Baby,” with a gentle kiss to her cheek.
Gracie started crying long hard cries. He could hear that little eight year old girl crying her hurt out. He held her close and rocked her back and forth, letting her release so much pain. It took a long time for Grace to settle down. Alex didn’t care. She needed this. The cold wet clothing clinging to his body didn’t matter to him. She needed to see that he loved that little girl.
Both of them were startled when someone knocked on the door to the suite. Alex gently laid Gracie on her back, handed her Bun Bun, and placed her paci at her lips. She took the pacifier immediately, and began nursing. “Lay still Baby, Daddy needs to answer the door,” he told her with a kiss.
He watched Gracie as he walked toward the door, and her wide eyes stared at his wet pants as he headed out of the room. That gave Alex an idea, and he didn’t know why he didn’t think of it earlier.
Fresh tears streamed down her face, as Grace watched Daddy disappear around the corner. He really didn’t care that she had wet on him. He was even going to answer the door like that! She hugged Bun Bun tight and grabbed her didee. It felt so good when she brought it to her face.
She heard soft voices for almost five minutes, and then Cindy walked into the room with Daddy. “Hi Baby,” she said as she headed straight to the bed and sat down. “Can I have a hug?”
Gracie scrambled up and over to Cindy, hugging her tight. She laid her head down when Cindy started patting her bottom. She watched Daddy go to the dresser and get a clean pair of pants and underwear from the drawer. “Do you want me to sit with you while Daddy gets changed? He told me you had a leaky dipey,” she said, with a firm pat to Gracie’s damp bottom.
Leaning back, Gracie smiled around her paci as she nodded her head. Daddy even told Cindy that she had wet on him! That made Gracie want to dance around the room! He wasn’t repulsed by it, but took it in stride, treating it just like her parents had her sister Katie’s leaky dipeys.
“Somebody is a happy baby girl!” Cindy laughed.
Gracie giggled, and nodded her head.
“How about I put your hair up in pig tails where it belongs Baby?” she asked with a smile.
Gracie giggled again, and said, “Okay!” She wanted her hair to look like she felt inside, just like a baby girl.
“Okay, where are your hair ties Baby?”
Gracie looked around the room, spied the small basket with them in it, pointed, and said, “Dewe!” with a big smile. The hair brush Daddy used was in the basket as well. She shifted off of Cindy’s lap, and watched as she got the basket from the dresser and returned to the bed.
Cindy held up two different hair ties, one had a diapered bear on it, and the other a pink bunny. “Which one Baby?”
“Dat one!” Gracie answered with a toddler’s enthusiasm.
“Okay, teddy bears it is. Turn around Sweety.”
Gracie scooted so her back was to Cindy, and felt her start brushing her hair out. She reached down and picked up Bun Bun, and decided to let her inhibitions go. A second later, she was babbling away as Cindy gathered her hair and put the first tie in it.
Alex stepped out of the bathroom, and the scene that greeted him made him smile. Gracie sat talking to her bunny in unintelligible baby babble as Cindy brushed her hair. She had made big steps today. The hurt wasn’t getting in the way right now.
The next step would be a big one, and he hoped to God that what he had planned wouldn’t make things worse. He noticed the teddy bears in Gracie’s hair, and stepped to the dresser. He pulled out two diapers, a pair of pink shorts and a pink shirt with ‘Daddy’s Girl’ printed on it. Going to the closet, he got the cute sneakers he had brought with the bears on them, and then remembered to grab a pair of socks.
Cindy finished Gracie’s hair, and Alex asked, “Are you ready to get dressed for the day Baby?”
Gracie gave him a puzzled look, and looked down at her skirt, then back up at him.
“You can’t go to the park dressed like that Baby, you need to wear shorts if you’re going to swing,” he told her with a smile.
Gracie giggled, scooted over on the bed, and laid down.
“That’s my good girl!” he cooed. He grabbed the powder, and the wipes on his way over, and set everything down. He removed her skirt first. Gracie smiled up at him as he pulled the tapes on her diaper, completely oblivious that Cindy was still sitting there. This time, Alex had been the one to ask her to stay in the room as he changed Gracie.
He took his time about powdering her bottom, and the tearful smiles, and big sighs Gracie gave him made it worth it. He set her down on a diaper for a moment, and picked up the other one, poking holes in it like he had last evening. Lifting her up, he placed that one under her, and taped it closed. A couple of seconds later, the second diaper was taped to her bottom, pushing her legs far apart. He ran his finger along the gathers between her leg and the diaper to spread them out, and then pushed her legs together a bit to settle the diapers into the creases. Alex had seen her smile when she scooted across the bed this morning, and knew she like the way the thicker diapers felt.
Her shorts were next, and it took some effort, but he worked them over the very thick diapers, smiling when he was done. There was absolutely no way anyone could ever mistake what she had on under her shorts for anything but a thick diaper. He grasped her legs, pushed them wide apart, making the pantlegs ride up into the creases of her legs, and when he brought them back together, the thick bulge of her diaper was even more obvious. “There! That’s what a baby girl is supposed to look like,” he told her with a firm pat to the large triangular bump in the front of her shorts.
Gracie giggled at him, and he tickled her. She looked so cute squirming around on the bed.
“Okay Baby, let’s get your shirt on.” It only took a second to get her shirt changed, and when he sat her up, and a band of white plastic showed above her shorts in the back, he smiled. It was wider this time because her diapers were much thicker, and the shorts rode lower because of it. When he lifted her up to sit her in his lap, plastic also showed across her lower tummy. It didn’t take long to get her shoes on, and he sat her back on the bed and told her, “Play for a bit while I get your dipey bag ready.”
Cindy picked up the soft book on the bed with the alphabet train, and pointed to the elephant and asked, “What’s that Sweetheart?”
“Ewephant!” Gracie proudly told her.
“And this one?”
“Giwaffe!” Gracie answered with a giggle.
Alex chuckled as he watched them for a moment, and then started restocking the diaper bag. When everything was in order, he pushed the stroller into the bedroom. It surprised him when Gracie looked at it fearfully, and said, “No bye bye,” looking like she was going to cry.
He picked her up and held her close. With a pat to her padded butt, he told her, “No Baby, you’re not going home, I promise. You’re going to the park to play, all right?”
She hugged him, kissed his cheek, and smiled as she answered, “Awight,” around her pacifier.
Gracie sat in the stroller as Daddy pushed her into the lobby. She wanted to be a good girl, so she waved at everyone that looked at her. When they said hello, she smiled around her paci and lifted her sneaker up, and exclaimed, “Teddy!” sounding like a sweet baby girl.
She got anxious when they approached the truck. She was still scared Daddy would send her home. Her adult mind trusted what he had told her, but that little girl inside was almost certain that at some point Daddy would change his mind. She smiled when he picked her up, seat and all, and set her down on the base in the back seat.
“There, all ready to go to the park,” he told her. The door was closed, and Daddy got in the driver’s seat and started the engine. “I need to stop at the store Baby, and it’s going to take a few minutes. Miss Cindy needs to get some things.”
Gracie smiled at Daddy. That wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact. He wasn’t asking her anything, but like he would a child, he was letting her know what they were going to do. That made her feel a lot more secure.
When the truck pulled into a parking space at the local Target, Gracie got anxious as both Daddy and Cindy got out of the truck. They stood talking for a moment, before Cindy headed into the store. Daddy opened Gracie’s door and released the harness. “Come here Baby, Daddy wants to snuggle for a while,” he said as he lifted her out of the seat.
She snuggled really close as he hugged her. The feeling of his huge hand holding her diapered bottom felt great. She got the urge to go pee pee, and didn’t even try to hold it in. The spreading warmth in her dipey made her smile.
“Are you making pee pee’s?” Daddy asked as he moved his hand further down on her dipey. “Huh? Are you making pee pee’s for Daddy Baby Girl?” he continued.
Gracie pulled back so she could look at him, saw the smile on his face and giggled. “Uh huh,” she replied. It was then that she realized that they were in the middle of a crowded parking lot. Daddy hadn’t been quiet when he asked her, and a woman was watching them.
Daddy tickled her side, and said, “You’re Daddy’s little pee butt. That’s what you are.”
Gracie laughed wildly as Daddy tickled her again.
“Aren’t you Baby?”
When Daddy didn’t stop tickling, she squealed, “Pee butt!”
Daddy laughed, and hugged her tight. He rocked her back and forth as she finished giggling. Gracie looked around again and noticed the woman smiling at her. Just because, she held her hand up and gave a toddler wave. With a wider smile, the woman waved back before she got into her car and drove off.
“That’s my good girl,” Daddy told her, making her feel wonderful.
It wasn’t long before Gracie saw Cindy walking from the exit with several bags in her hands. “Mith Thindy!” she exclaimed, using the childish term.
“Yes,” Daddy replied. “Miss Cindy is all done now. Let’s get you back in your seat Baby.”
They were back on the road a minute later. Gracie looked to Cindy and asked, “Ba-ba?”
“Okay Sweety, here’s your ba-ba,” Cindy replied as she handed her a full ba-ba of juice.
Gracie suckled on the nipple loving the sensation. It just felt so good to nurse, especially when she didn’t have to hide it. She sat enjoying her ba-ba as they drove. She had no idea where they were going, because the park they went to before didn’t require driving at all. At first she thought they might be going to the store and then back, but she knew this wasn’t anywhere near the resort.
They had been driving for at least an hour when Daddy pulled into a steak house. “I’ll be right back Baby,” he told her, and headed inside. A few minutes later, he came back out with a large bag. When he got in the truck and handed the bag to Cindy, the smell of food hit Gracie and she wanted to eat.
Cindy saw her lifting up in her seat to see where the food went, and asked, “Are you hungry Sweetheart?”
“Hungwy! Nummieth!” Gracie answered, nodding her head vigorously. She didn’t realize how hungry she was.
“We’re almost to the park Baby. I’ll feed you when we get there, I promise,” Daddy told her.
Gracie pouted. She even went so far as to push her lower lip out.
“Here, this should help tide you over Sweety,” Cindy told her as she handed Gracie a small piece of a soft dinner roll.
Gracie immediately pushed the bread into her mouth and began chewing. It was gone in a second, and she held her hand out for more.
With a chuckle, Cindy handed her another piece.
It was gone just as quickly. This cycle continued until they pulled into a parking lot and Daddy shut the engine off.
When her door opened, Gracie asked Daddy, “Nummieth?”
“Yes Baby, I’m going to feed you nummies, but first we have to go find a spot to sit, okay?” he told her with a chuckle.
“Okay,” she answered with a frown.
“It’ll only take a minute I promise,” he said with a kiss to her cheek, and then lifted her seat out of the car, and set her on to the stroller frame.
It was Sunday, and as usual, the park was somewhat crowded. They were soon sitting on a blanket, amid others in a grassy area. Gracie was reclined against Daddy’s left leg, opening her mouth again and again as Daddy spooned mashed potatoes into it. Even with him chasing the portion she pushed back out, she was fed and laid down with a ba-ba in twenty minutes.
Gracie looked around. There were a lot of people enjoying the warm sunny day. Older kids were running around, and toddlers were close to parents, playing with toys. The sight of a baby girl, no more than two years old, cuddling with her Daddy brought back the longing feeling. Gracie giggled a second later. Bringing her foot up, she grasped it in her hand, rocking it back and forth. She nursed her ba-ba, feeling wonderful as she looked down at the thick dipey bulging under her shorts.
“What’s got you giggling Baby?” Daddy asked.
Gracie had no way of letting him know that he made her feel just like the little girl she had just saw. With another giggle, she said, “Baby,” in a soft sweet voice.
“Yes, your my baby Sweetheart,” he said, looking at her with those loving Daddy eyes again just as she started sucking air from her ba-ba.
Gracie dropped the ba-ba and took her paci. No sooner did she get it in place, but a big yawn forced her mouth open, and she dropped it again. Daddy gave it to her and cooed, “I think someone’s about ready for her nap.”
He picked her up, and sat her in his lap. “Can you sit in front of me for a sec?” he asked Cindy.
“Sure,” she said, and scooted over so she was sitting behind Gracie.
Daddy pulled a glove on his hand, and lifted Gracie up, saying, “Sit on your knees for me Baby.” When he set her back down, he hugged her close. She felt him moving for a second, and then felt him slide his hand down the back of her dipey. She didn’t understand until she felt the thick cream being rubbed on her bottom. Daddy managed to push his fingers most of the way between her legs, and coated her pee pee and her whole bottom with the cream. He pulled his hand out, and then pushed inside her dipey again. This time, he pushed something in her bottom. A second item was pushed into her bottom, and then he took his hand away.
Gracie smiled despite her anxiety of being right in the middle of all of these people. Daddy wanted her to go poopy. She expected him to lay her down, but instead, he cradled her in his lap, his hand on her dipey. He took her paci, and brought another ba-ba to her lips. She began nursing at the nipple, and Daddy pulled a book out of the dipey bag. When she saw it, she smiled again. It was Goldilocks, but not the little book she had played with earlier.
Daddy started reading to her, and she snuggled closer. She had never felt so little in all her life. He kissed her forehead, and continued with the story.
Gracie felt her tummy cramp again, and relaxed her bottom, allowing the mess to push out into her dipey. Daddy waited until it paused, patted her dipey, and told her, “That’s a good baby girl.” A second later he resumed the story.
With a nuzzle to her didee, she hugged Bun Bun tight. The feel of the soft mess filling her dipey as she nursed her ba-ba felt wonderful. Daddy’s soft, deep voice lulled her, and before long, she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She felt another warm mass push into her dipey all on its own as she drifted off to sleep in Daddy’s arms.