Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Hi Folks,

This is one of the longest chapter I have ever written (over 11 pages). I didn’t want to split it because I wanted cause and effect to stay together.

I hope you like it,



Chapter 17

Grace had no idea what she was going to do. I’ll get the keys and leave, she decided as her legs carried her from the bed toward the livingroom. It didn’t matter to her that she would be bounding down the hall and through the main lobby of the hotel dressed in a pajama top and a very wet diaper, she just wanted out of there. She wouldn’t ever see these people again anyway, so let them laugh.

She no sooner stepped through the doorway into the livingroom, than felt Alex’s strong arm wrap around her midsection, pulling her to him with her back against his body. “Leave me alone!” she yelled.

“No,” he replied, and she felt his big hand push up between her legs, lifting her weight by her wet bottom.

Her legs kicked back toward him, as she tried to break free. “Let go!” she screamed.

A couple of seconds later, he placed her on the bed and warned, “Stay in that bed little girl.”

Grace only got angrier. The tone of his voice made her sit still for a second. She saw Cindy, still sitting on the king sized mattress, watching her. Wanting to salvage as much dignity as possible while sitting there in a wet diaper, she glared at Cindy and asked, “Did you enjoy yourself? Did you have fun watching the freak be a baby? How about grabbing my shitty diaper? Did you get off on that, huh?” with a sneer. The hurt expression on Cindy’s face as she verbally assaulted her had no impact on Grace.

The world suddenly shifted. When Grace figured out that Alex had picked her up, she was being lowered to the bed on her stomach with her bottom in the air, over his lap. “No!” she screamed. She wasn’t going to just sit and take it this time. There was no way she would suffer the humiliation of being spanked in front of this woman. Her hands reached out and grabbed the tubing as she felt Alex lay his right leg over her thighs. A second later, she growled, “Let me go!” when he grabbed both her arms and pinned her hands behind her back, holding both wrists with his massive left hand.

Fear gripped her when she felt the plastic of the diaper tear free of her right hip. “Alex no!” she yelled as the other side was ripped open. Anger seethed as he pulled the wet diaper back, showing her bare bottom to the woman that had patronized her. The stinging pain that reached her brain, the second his hand struck her tender cheeks, made her gasp. There was only a half second pause before the pain came again, worse this time.

Grace lay there struggling to get free. She bit her lower lip, trying desperately not to cry and give Cindy any more satisfaction from seeing her behaving like a little girl. Alex had given her no more than fourteen smacks the first time he spanked her, and she would endure them this time without tears if it killed her.

She kicked her feet, drumming them against the mattress as the sound of Alex’s hand hitting her bottom filled the room. He was spanking her harder than last time, and it took everything she had to keep from crying. A tear struck the mattress when he didn’t stop at fourteen. Ten stinging slaps later, she was crying, tears freely streaming. Five more, and she started sobbing, pleading through her tears, “Please stop!” Smack…smack…smack…“Pleeeeease!” she cried. Smack…smack…smack…and her bottom was on fire. Three more times his hand made her bottom sting worse, and she was blubbering like a child, gulping air between sobs. “No moooooore!” she cried, but Alex continued with the spanking.

The second the words, “Daddyyyy pleeeease!” left her mouth, the spanking stopped. Her cries were long and hard now, sounding like a very upset toddler. She lay there crying for a moment, before another painful swat landed on her irritated behind.

“Miss Cindy was nice to you wasn’t she?” Daddy asked with anger in his voice.

“Yeeessss!” she answered, willing to say anything to make the spanking stop.

Smack! “She was kind and gentle, and spent a good part of her day helping you play and have fun yesterday, didn’t she?”

“Yes Daddyyyyy!”

“You couldn’t be nice, and sit there and listen though could you?” he asked, “You,” smack! “had,” smack! “to be,” smack! “mean,” he told her, emphasizing his words with swats to her bright red cheeks. “Now, you tell Miss Cindy you’re sorry Baby Girl,” he instructed.

Gracie’s anger still fumed despite the fire in her bottom. She didn’t want to apologize, but wanted the spanking to end. Not wanting to give Cindy any more to ridicule, she said, “I’m sorry Cindy!”

Three more smacks hit her bottom, making her sob again. “You know the rules little girl!” Daddy growled at her. With tears streaming, Gracie tried to comply, but Daddy interrupted with, “Look at her Baby.”

It took everything Gracie had to raise her eyes to look at Cindy and say, “Sowwy Cindyyyy,” her sobbing making her sound even more childish. The only satisfaction she could get was the glare she gave the woman. The disturbing part was the tears that streaked Cindy’s face. Gracie pushed those concerns away when she remembered the feeling of Cindy patting he dirty diaper at the park, or holding her wet bottom earlier.

Daddy told her, “If you don’t lay down here like a good girl, take your paci and snuggle with Bun Bun while I put a fresh dipey on you little girl, you’ll end up back over my knee, understand?”

Gracie whipped her head around and looked at him through her tears. He wouldn’t! she thought. The determination in his face, and the three additional smacks to her bottom assured her that he most certainly was going to diaper her right in front of Cindy. “Yes Daddy!” she cried, wishing this nightmare would end.

He released her arms, and she laid there limp, afraid of more spankings. She blushed bright red when he picked her up and laid her on her back on the bed. She sobbed when he presented her paci to her, but opened her mouth and took the nipple, crying around it. She hugged her bunny close when he laid Bun Bun against her pajama shirt. Her thumb unconsciously ran over the soft stuffed animal as she cried.

She glared at him when he grasped her ankles and lifted her bottom off the bed, showing her bright red cheeks to Cindy. A second later, she cried harder when he sprinkled the babyish smelling powder onto her skin and began smoothing it over her stinging bottom. She was grateful for the rubbing, because it eased the sting, but she would never tell him that.

Her humiliation was complete when he pushed her legs apart and began smoothing the baby powder over her smooth shaven privates. Gracie couldn’t help sobbing harder as she glanced to Cindy and saw she was watching him do it. Despite the embarrassment of having a diaper pulled up between her legs, she was grateful. Her babyish ‘pee pee’ wasn’t on display anymore. Once the tapes were applied, and the packing tape in place, Daddy looked at her and said, “I’m sorry I had to spank you Baby, but I gave you my word I wouldn’t let you run anymore, and I intend to keep it.”

Gracie saw the sadness in his glassy eyes, and didn’t care. She thought a second, to make sure she was following the rules, and spat, “Hate you!” around her paci. The hurt look on his face almost made it through the shell she had erected around her feelings, but she turned over, away from him, continuing to cry. She decided right then that that was the last thing she would ever say to him.

A moment later, he told her, “Stay in that bed little girl until I tell you you can get up,” and she heard him walk from the room.

Cindy slowly got up off the bed, moving beyond Gracie’s sight. Gracie wasn’t going to give the woman the satisfaction of knowing she wanted to know where she went, so stayed facing the window. A couple of seconds later, Gracie jumped when she felt a soft didee touch her face, and Cindy’s tearful voice said, “He really does love you Sweetheart,” and then she left the bedroom.

Gracie couldn’t help herself when she reached up and grasped the soft diaper, rubbing it against her cheek. The weakness frustrated her, and she cried harder because of it. If she had been able to put the baby things away before, she would never have had to endure this nightmare.

Daddy had broken her trust. He had betrayed her, and she could never forgive him for that. Not only that, he had knowingly let her be the baby girl as Cindy cared for her, feeding her, holding her ba-ba, and playing peek-a-boo for crying out loud. The thought had Gracie’s face red. Worse yet, he had spanked her like a child in front of this woman, and then diapered her, showing Cindy that Gracie removed her pubic hair to look and feel more like a baby. It was inexcusable and she would never trust him again!

She lay nursing her paci and her hurt feelings. The tears that fell were for both the hell of this morning, and the loss of something that had been beautiful. Her situation now was worse than she had ever envisioned. Not only would she no longer have the gentle, loving care of the man that she loved, but she was still stuck following the rules. This meant that she had to stay in the bed until Daddy gave her permission to leave it. The next three days would entail more diapers, bottles, and God knew what else as she reluctantly acted like a baby for fear she would get spanked if she didn’t. “How did everything go so wrong?” she cried softly.

“I’m sorry,” she heard Daddy say.

“It’s okay,” Cindy’s voice responded.

Gracie was angry that he would apologize for her like she was a child. Of course it’s okay, she had a great time laughing at me, I’m sure. Her and her husband probably had a hell of a laugh over this, she thought with fresh tears streaming. No matter how many times she told herself it didn’t matter, it hurt.

“No, it’s not okay. She had no right to be so hateful to you. You’ve offered her nothing but kindness, and she repaid you with nasty remarks, and hateful slurs.”

Of course she offered kindness! It was great fun watching me laugh and smile as she pulled the cloth diaper off my face, it’s a wonder she didn’t roll on the ground, holding her gut! Gracie mused. She didn’t dare say it out loud though for fear she would feel Daddy’s hand sting her bottom again.

More tears blurred her vision as she realized she was nursing her paci without realizing it. She would get spanked again if she didn’t have it in her mouth, she was sure, but the last thing she wanted was to give in to the infantile desires that plagued her. She wished that she were normal, not a sick person that craved diapers and paci’s at times. The next three days would be torture. She would have to use her baby things, and the lure would be irresistible. She would find herself nursing despite wanting to throw the paci away, like she was now. She couldn’t help it, and wished they had never come to this place.

“What will you do now?” Cindy asked.

Oh, trying to figure out where your next entertainment is coming from? Gracie screamed in her head, crying harder when she realized she might end up laying naked again, getting her diaper changed as Cindy looked on.

“I don’t know. I was hoping things would go smoother. After all of the time you spent making her happy, I didn’t foresee her not even listening to you,” he answered with a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” Cindy told him. “I wish I had never told you.”

Gracie didn’t understand what she was talking about.

“It’s not your fault the ventilation system connects our rooms, or that you happened to be awake when we were talking the night we got here. I’m grateful that you didn’t say a word to anyone. I didn’t want Gracie getting hurt,” he replied with a thick voice.

Her eyes snapped to the open bedroom door, as Gracie sat nursing hard and fast on her paci. The truth of the situation dawned on her, and she began crying again. He probably hates me now, she thought. I deserve it. She had automatically assumed that he had told Cindy, never considering that she may have learned it on her own.

Her pride suggested that maybe this conversation between them was a ruse, put on just so she would think it wasn’t his fault. Reality stepped in when she considered the hurt expression on Daddy’s face when she had said ‘hate you’, and that he didn’t get upset until he spoke of her getting hurt. This wasn’t a ploy she knew, he loved her and she had spurned him.

When she considered her behavior, she decided the spanking was well earned because she had acted like a spoiled child. She hadn’t tried to figure out what was going on. There had to be a reason that Daddy would send Cindy in with a bottle, instead of holding it for her himself. She hadn’t even considered that, not even for half a second. The moment she learned that Cindy knew, she assumed that they he had betrayed her.

“I didn’t want to cause problems, I honestly thought it would help if she understood that someone could know that she wasn’t really a child, but didn’t care. I looked into her eyes yesterday at the park and couldn’t help myself. I saw a sweet baby girl that was happy. I had the cloth diaper in my hand before I knew it, and then we were playing peek-a-boo. Each time she giggled, I had to laugh, her joy was so infectious. There was no adult there, just a happy baby girl, enjoying the play.”

Suddenly everything became clear, and Gracie felt incredibly ugly inside. This kind lady was trying to help her. The terrible words she sneered at Cindy came back to her, and she began crying hard into her bunny’s soft fuzz. Cindy hadn’t deserved any of what she said.

“I think I made a mistake,” Daddy said, and fear gripped Gracie’s chest.

“Please don’t,” she whispered into her bunny as tears fell to the soft material.

“I think I should have let her go home if she wanted to.”

“No Daddy,” Gracie cried into Bun Bun.

Alex sat hurting. He had honestly thought that it would work out. He hadn’t envisioned anything like this happening. Gracie shocked him when she was rude to Cindy. What she said was completely uncalled for, and he had seen no other option but to spank her.

He had wanted her to see that she couldn’t just take her insecurities out on others without regard for their feelings. It was really hard to keep slapping her bottom, knowing it was hurting her, but he wasn’t going to pause until she gave in and called him Daddy. Then, he had felt compelled to hold her accountable.

When he told her he was going to diaper her, she had looked at him like he didn’t dare. He was in the perfect frame of mind to show her just what he dared to do, and took his time about powdering her bottom and her privates. She had to learn that if she had sat there and just listened to what Cindy had to say, she wouldn’t have been laying on the bed getting diapered in front of her. Maybe he had gone too far, he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

He had never seen Gracie act like she did earlier, not in all of the eight years that they were married. She was always mindful of others feelings. He had no idea what had come over her.

While he had told Cindy he should have let her go home, he really didn’t know if he should have let Grace leave or not. He had given her his word that he wouldn’t offer that option again, and he had meant it. The problem was the hurt expression and the painful words she had said to him. Her tone had convinced him that at that moment she had hated him. It hurt worse than anything she had ever said or done to him before.

He considered what would make her behave the way she had, and then ran over her words to Cindy in his head. It hit him with the force of a brick wall. She thought he told Cindy the truth! Things started to make more sense then. It was no wonder that Gracie was angry with him. The problem was, how to convince her of the truth.

Whatever he did, it would have to wait. He hadn’t heard anything from the bedroom for some time, and assumed she had cried herself to sleep. The more he thought about it, the less he wanted to allow her to leave. He had given her his word, and he would stand by it. He still thought that if she would sit and listen to reason, she would be fine with what happened.

He was just about to tell Cindy that he was wrong, and wouldn’t be giving Gracie the opportunity to leave, when a movement on the floor caught his attention, and he heard a soft, tearful “Daddy?” Gracie was crawling tentatively out the door, her paci in her mouth and her bunny in her right hand. The expression on her face was a pleading one.

His first instinct was to run to her, pick her up in his arms and tell her he loved her so much, and that he would never have hurt her like that. But he knew if he did that, things would get out of hand. “I told you to stay in that bed little girl,” he said firmly. Pointing toward the bedroom he added, “Get back up there unless you want another spanking.”

Gracie immediately turned around and began scrambling toward the bed. She had just disappeared when he heard her cry, “Thowwy Daddy!”

The silence was deafening as Gracie sat on the bed listening for any indication that Daddy cared that she was trying to apologize. Her heart ached when no words came forth from the livingroom. She had really screwed things up. Why did she have to let history interfere with things now? It was frustrating, and she cried harder because she didn’t know how to fix it.

“Thowwy Daddy!” she sobbed again, and when no sound was heard, she repeated her self again, this time, unable to control her voice as her sobbing came through. Again nothing, and she started crying long and hard, saying over and over, “Thowwyyy…Thowwy Daddyyyyyy!”

Cindy sat trying to ignore the painful cries that came from the bedroom. She started to get up when Gracie cried out the second time, but Alex shook his head no. Her Master had instructed her to do as Alex told her, so she sat there, dabbing her eyes as Gracie pleaded for some indication that Daddy still loved her. She sounded so much like a baby girl that it was hard to take.

Trying to put the anguished cries out of her thoughts, her mind shifted to her talk with her Master last evening. He had sat in the recliner in their room, she resting on her knees at his feet as it should be. Master had spent an hour teasing her, bringing her to the edge of climax, and then withdrawing his gentle ministrations over and over. The need for release was intense as she sat, feeling the padded steel band against her inner thighs. She was used to the frustration now, and didn’t feel the need to beg anymore like she did when he had first taken her as his property.

Master looked up from his book and asked, “What do you think of Gracie?”

Keeping her eyes on the carpet, she asked, “What do you mean sir?”

“Her desire to be a child.”

Cindy thought for a moment, and answered, “I see no harm in it Master. It is her way of giving up control, much like mine.” Her eyes opened wide when he gently raised her chin with his fingers to lock eyes with her. Her heart sang when he smiled at her.

“So you don’t find it strange my pet?”

“No master, no stranger than my own desires,” she answered honestly.

“And her desire to sit in wet or messy diapers?”

Cindy thought a moment. She looked back to his eyes tentatively, and replied, “Master, when I sat with her in the park and she woke up while you talked with her daddy, I couldn’t help noticing the smell. It was unpleasant, but as you instructed, I stayed with her. When she woke, I treated her as I had many of the children I took care of in the past. When I patted her dirty bottom, I saw the difficulty she was having, and was overjoyed when she turned on her back and smiled at me. She had given up control, much as I had in the past, and I wanted to congratulate her, but kept my thoughts to myself. Suddenly, the odor of her diaper didn’t matter anymore.”

“I wish you to go next door in the morning, and when Alex permits, let Gracie know the truth. Seek guidance from him on the method, but where he goes, you go unless he instructs otherwise. If he should bathe her, or change her, make sure she knows you’re watching,” he instructed.

The smile he gave her when he finished, made her want to hug him and beg him to allow her to prove her devotion to him. “Stand my pet,” he instructed, and she was instantly on her feet before him. When he reached for the key to her belt, and began releasing the steel sign of her obedience, she felt trepidation. She didn’t know if she could endure another session of teasing, but would do her best for this man, the center of her world.

As the belt fell away, he set it down on the carpet, stood and led her naked toward the bedroom. “In understanding others, we understand ourselves. You have pleased me.” He said softly. The words sent shivers through her whole being. She couldn’t help the tears as he added, “You have earned your pleasure.”

Cindy was glad when Gracie’s infantile cries interrupted her memories of the time her Master spent bringing her to incredible heights again and again. It prevented her from the failure of blushing. She was relieved when Alex stood and started toward the bedroom. She obeyed her Masters wishes and followed right behind.

The second Gracie saw Daddy in the doorway, she dropped her bunny and threw her arms out, desperately needing his hug. She cried “Thowwyyyyy!” around her paci so hard her face turned beat red. She needed to know he loved her more than she needed to breathe right then.

When he hurried to the bed and picked her up, she never felt so fortunate in her life. Her needs instantly changed to a desperate desire to let him know she didn’t hate him. “Wub you Daddy! Wub you! Wub you!” she wailed over and over until she ran out of air, and her lips kept forming the words as her tummy muscles tried to make them heard. Gracie repeated three cycles of this until Daddy told her, “I love you too Baby, so much!” his voice thick with emotion.

She clung tightly to him, afraid he would change his mind as she continued to release her fear sounding like a crying baby girl. She saw Cindy standing off to the side crying, and didn’t care that she looked and sounded like an infant. She had to make Daddy understand that she loved and needed him.

It took almost twenty minutes for her to ease up on both her crying and her grip on Daddy’s neck. When he gently pulled her back and looked in her eyes, he said, “Baby, I gave you my word, you’re my baby girl, and I’m your daddy. That will never change, I swear it.”

This started another round of relieved tears. All she could offer was, “Wub you.”

He rocked her back and forth for a few moments, and brought her back to look at her again when she settled down. “Listen Baby,” he started in a firmer tone. “I don’t ever want to hear you be mean like that again, do you hear me?”

Gracie immediately answered, “Pwomithe Daddy! Pwomithe!” This brought the terrible things Gracie had said to Cindy to her mind, and she turned toward the kind woman, held her arms out, and cried, “Thowwy!”

Cindy sat down on the bed and patted her lap. Daddy lowered Gracie gently so that her legs straddled the young woman. Gracie hugged her tight, and repeated her sincere apology several times, until Cindy said, “It’s okay Baby, it’s all right now, I promise,” as she rocked her back and forth, patting her diapered bottom.

It was several minutes later that Gracie finally settled down to whimpering as she nursed her paci. Cindy picked up the cloth diaper from the bed, and began rubbing it gently against her cheek. That calmed Gracie even more, and it wasn’t long before she was content to be held and nurse her paci.

Gracie didn’t understand when Cindy asked, “Alex, can you give us a few minutes? I want to talk to Gracie.”

Daddy replied, “Sure.”

“Oh, is it all right if she uses big girl words for this talk?”

“That’s fine as long as she understands that she’s still a baby girl and will be until we pull into the driveway on Tuesday.”

Gracie lifted her head, looked at Daddy, and in a solemn voice said, “Baby,” sounding sweet. She smiled when Daddy came close and kissed her cheek.

“That’s right Sweety, my baby,” he told her with a warm smile. A second later, he was closing the bedroom door on his way to the livingroom.

Cindy said, “Okay Baby Girl, sit on the bed for me.”

Gracie scrambled over so she was sitting facing Cindy, her knees wide apart like a good baby girl. She had screwed up terribly this morning and had no intention of taking any chances. She smiled around her paci when Cindy told her she was a good girl.

“All right, what happened?” Cindy asked softly.

Gracie looked at her and asked, “What do you mean?” not sure what she was getting at.

“What caused the woman I met this morning to respond like she did?” Cindy clarified.

“I’m so sorry…you didn’t deserve that at all…I’m really sorry,” Gracie cried.

“Shhhhh…I figured out it wasn’t me that you were saying those things to. Who was it?”

Gracie was stunned. How could she know? she thought. Certain that Cindy at least deserved an honest answer, she said, “You’re right, it wasn’t you.” Taking a deep breath, she began. "I was eight, and my sister was two. I had spent almost two years watching her be cuddled, changed, and cared for in a loving fashion. I assumed that my parents had done the same for me, but I wanted more of it.

I was afraid to ask my mom to do this, because she was always pushing me to be a big girl, and it didn’t make sense that she would give me what I craved. I didn’t know why, and I still don’t today, but I was drawn to the diaper and baby things. I couldn’t be in the same room with my little sister without longing for the same things she had, and the same treatment.

I remember that Christmas telling Santa that I didn’t want toys, but wanted to be a baby girl again. The old man that listened as I whispered into his ear looked at me strangely and ushered me off his lap. How was I to know, at seven years old, that Santa wasn’t real? Needless to say, I was crushed. Santa thought I was strange.

Several months later, I got up the courage to steal one of my sisters diapers. I snuck it into my room and when bed time came, I was anxious but excited. My mom came in and tucked me in, and as soon as she left, I ran to the closet, pulled the diaper from my hiding place, and proceeded to put it on. I had helped my mom change my sister, so I had an idea of how it was done, and didn’t have much problem getting it taped to my small waist. Being so small, it was a snug fit, but a comfortable one.

The feeling of the thick padding was wonderful! It made me feel so small and vulnerable. I laid there with a huge smile as I shifted and the plastic crinkled; I sounded just like my little sister. I managed to fall asleep snuggled up with my bunny, the thick soft padding hugging my bottom. I was in heaven.

Sometime during the night, I woke up needing to go pee. I hated the idea of taking the diaper off, because I knew once I pulled the tapes off, they wouldn’t go back on. They never had on my sister’s diapers. So I stood at the side of the bed and wet in the diaper. It took a couple of minutes, but I managed it. The feeling was indescribable! The warmth against my skin as the diaper swelled thicker made me giggle. I was afraid someone heard me, and jumped back under the covers. This time I lay awake sucking my thumb, feeling very much like a little baby. After a time I must have dozed off.

The next thing I remember is being awakened by a very angry mother. She had evidently smelled the pee in my diaper, and pulled the covers back to see if I had wet the bed. Upon discovering that I was not just wearing a diaper, but it was wet, she told me to “Get up and get that thing off.” She cleaned me up with my sister’s wipes, and eventually sent me off to school with the words, “We’ll have a chat when you get home about what you were wearing this morning.”

I was a nervous wreck for the entire school day. When I got of the bus, I seriously considered hiding under the porch until everyone went to bed. It didn’t occur to me that if I had, they would have come looking for me, after all I was only eight.

It didn’t matter because my mother was waiting for me when I stepped off the bus. She took my hand, led me into the house, and straight to my bedroom. When I saw the diaper on the bed, spread out waiting for me, I hoped for a moment that she had somehow figured out what was so important to me.

She told me to get undressed, and not wanting to make her mad, I complied. When I was standing there in just my panties, she grasped the waist and pulled them down, getting upset that I hadn’t done so already. I had a bad feeling about how things would go from there, and I was right.

She laid me on the diaper, powdered my bottom, and pulled the diaper up between my legs, taping it closed. I started crying because while she had done the same thing that she had done a thousand time for my sister, there was no loving touch, no caring words.

The reality of my situation hit me when she pushed a pacifier into my mouth and told me that if I wanted to wear diapers, I would be treated like a baby.

I remember it clearly to this day." Gracie said, her voice breaking as tears formed. “I looked in her eyes, hoping to see some semblance of love. What I saw was ridicule. I desperately needed love, but got laughed at.”

Gracie sat crying softly for a moment. She managed to get herself under control and continued. "The next thing I knew she was ushering me into the livingroom, and lifted me into my sister’s playpen. She said, “Don’t you dare get out of there, do you hear me baby girl?” in a mocking voice.

I know now that she did what she thought was best for me, and she had no way of knowing what was going on inside me. It doesn’t make the memories any easier to deal with though.

It was a week of pure hell. From the time I got home from school until just before I left, I wore diapers. I wasn’t allowed to cover them with clothing, and she laid me down with my sister in her crib at bed time.

The second night I remember waking up needing to have a bowel movement. I laid there trying to forget about it, but that didn’t work. When I became desperate, I called out for my mother, and she came into the nursery and scolded me for making so much noise. She warned me that if I woke my sister up, she would spank me good. I told her I needed to use the potty, and she patted my diaper and said, “That’s what your diaper is for baby girl,” warned me not to make any more noise, and left the room. I laid there trying not to mess my diaper, but eventually, I couldn’t help it and cried as the mess filled the seat.

During the school day, I was terrified that my older brother would tell the other kids at school that I liked wearing diapers and wanted to be a baby. He was merciless at home, teasing me constantly, and my mom’s only answer to my crying was, “You wanted to be a baby.”

It took seven days of tears and pleading to get mom to let me be a big girl again. The whole experience taught me not to trust anyone with sensitive issues. When I got older, it took a long time before I would even talk to a boy. I didn’t trust anyone with my feelings. I’m really sorry, but what you heard earlier was hurt from long ago."

During the explanation, Gracie’s bladder had let her know several times that she needed to pee. By the time she finished, she really needed to go. She saw Cindy look at her for a moment and then shift on the bed so that her legs were on either side of Gracie’s, and reach to her side. Gracie hadn’t realized she was squirming and forced herself to sit still.

She was shocked when Cindy pulled her hand away from her side, taking her skirt with it. The metal band that ran down between her legs startled Gracie, and she couldn’t help but stare. When she looked up, she saw Cindy was blushing bright red.

The distraction caused her to lose control of her pee and she looked down quickly, and blushed herself, as the wetness spread visibly within the plastic of her diapered crotch. She was shocked a second later when Cindy took a hold of Gracie’s hand and placed it between her legs against the warm unyielding metal, while at the same time she placed her hand directly over the expanding wet spot of Gracie’s diaper.

Gracie was mortified as pee continued to stream into her diaper. She knew that Cindy could feel it.

Cindy said, “Look at me Baby.”

Gracie, her face crimson, raised her eyes.

“The belt I wear prevents me from touching myself. It is a symbol of obedience to my Master and husband. You have felt the steel that denies me what all women enjoy, and I have felt you wet your diaper just like the little baby girl that you desire to be. Is there anything more embarrassing than what we have just done?” she asked, keeping both hands in place.

Gracie shook her head no, not trusting herself to speak.

“Then there’s nothing left to be embarrassed about is there?” the kind woman asked.

Gracie thought about it. She smiled at Cindy when she realized that she was right. “No.”

“Good,” Cindy told her and released both Gracie’s hand and her diaper. “I showed you my belt because I wanted you to know that I understand what it is to need something that most people wouldn’t understand. That is why I can know that you are quite capable of using the potty, but prefer to go in your diaper, and I don’t care. Nor do I care that you’d rather drink from a ba-ba, than a cup, or have me feed you than do it yourself.”

Gracie smiled, fresh tears forming in her eyes. She was grateful to have met this woman.

Cindy reached over, picked up Gracie’s paci and placed it to her lips. “No more big girl talk Baby,” she said with a smile. She picked up her skirt and had it back in place in no time. Turning back to Gracie, she said, “I want you to understand that I can’t trust the big girl after what happened today.”

Gracie cried, “Thowwy,” a guilty look on her face.

“Shhhhh…it’s okay Baby, no more sorry,” Cindy told her bringing the soft diaper to her cheek. “What I mean is, I loved taking care of you yesterday. You wormed your way into my heart little girl, and I don’t want you worrying when I pat your diaper, or hold your ba-ba, or feed you. Playing peek-a-boo was so wonderful, you were so sweet. I want more of that Sweetheart, and I don’t want you backing away because I know that you aren’t just a little baby girl, understand?”

Gracie was frustrated. She wanted to say so much to this woman; to tell her how much it meant to her that she was still willing to be kind and gentle despite what Gracie had said. She wanted to let her know just how much it meant to her that she knew the truth and it didn’t matter to her. Gracie couldn’t figure out a way to get all of that across and still follow the rules. Giving up, she scrambled across the bed and hugged Cindy tight. A second later, she gave her baby kisses.

Cindy said, “Awww…you are so sweet Baby.” She rocked her for a moment and then pulled her back, kissed her cheek, and took her chin in her hand. “And Baby,” she started but her voice broke. When she could talk again, she looked Gracie in the eye, and in a thick voice, said, “I’m not laughing.”

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Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Another excellent, emotional chapter BB, keep up the good work. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter. :slight_smile:

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

BB you rock!!!

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

What I am going to say is not going to be received well by a number of people, but I am going to say it none the less.

The moment Alex spanked her, when he knew full well that she was NOT in baby mode, he broke all bounds of decency. He had absolultely no right what so ever to do that to an ADULT. She was not concenting in this at all.

He failed to foresee what her reaction would be, and instead continued on in his own blind anger. My opinion of Alex is that he is a complete asshole.

He should have given her the car keys at that point and let her go home, making his own way back.

It should have been an all ADULT conversation at that point, if Grace so wished it.

Having said that about asshole Alex, I must also say that I do not think that highly of Grace either. She just gave in again after the spanking? come on that in my opinion is just rediculous.

Again, I realise that this is ONLY a story and creative licence allows for basicly anything to happen.

She is NOT his property to do what the hell he likes with.

The talk with Cindy and her saying that she knew it was not her that Grace was saying this to, came totally out of no where. Within the context of this story, to me that seems totally out of place and perhaps needed more explanation. For example, how did she come to that conclusion? There was nothing that has been said or suggested up to that point that Grace had a bad experience with her mother or anyone else.

Within the context of the story up to that point, Cindy does not know anything about Grace’s childhood or background.

Did I enjoy the chapter? No I did not enjoy it.

Apart from what I have outlined with regards to the conversation between Cindy and Grace, overall the writing style was consistant and kept up a good flow.

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

You having a bad day Wimsett?

I enjoyed it BB, my only critic was maybe you could have drawn out Gracie’s anger a bit longer, had her miss Daddy’s hugs because she wouldn’t talk to him so he backed off a little …er something like that …then for the revelation to happen that she made a big mistake by saying what she did.

I am actually torn with what Wimsett said.

They both had agreed that Gracie would be a baby girl until they go home and you wouldn’t let your baby girl get away with what she said. Actually I wouldn’t think you’d even let your spouse talk like that to another person. Granted you wouldn’t spank your spouse but this situation is a little different, I bet alot of husbands would love to be able to spank their wives.
Yeap I am still torn a little…I had not thought about it until Wimsett brought it up, I think it was the spanking until she talked like a baby girl that got me. It may have been a little too much prehaps?

I think the spanking is fine but could have ended earlier, then he could have said “say your sorry for how rude you were” and if she refused then told her to stay on the bed then come back later to ask her again if she will say sorry and if she refused, leave her on the bed again in her misery then to have her hear there conversation and so on ….

I still would have loved this to have been drawn out even more though BB for daddy to cope with a cranky baby girl, to try and get her to do things only to frustrate him when she refused.

I loved it …spanking and all as it is only a story and I Know Daddy would have known that Gracie would have felt like she deserved the spanking when she reflected on it.

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Great chapter because of my depression I was on the same level of emoticons as all of the characters and I must say you put all the right emoticons in to this story.

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Another excellent chapter BB. Keep it up. :slight_smile:

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

I wasn’t going to comment publicly. However, after seeing this, I don’t feel as bad about doing so, now.

I agree here.

The way it was handled was beyond the pale. When you snap someone out of another world like that, especially with no explanation, it is to be expected that rage and embarassment are going to occur. Rules about staying in said world during the episode no longer exist.

Had Alex grabbed her and held her down and attempted to talk to her rationally; fine. But, the spanking, especially the volume of it, was not only wrong, it was reprehensible in nature. Had that been me in Grace’s situation, someone could have gotten seriously injured for pulling a stunt like that.

This isn’t as ridiculous as you might think. I can understand Alex’s logic from this perspective in a small way.

Grace was torn between extreme, adult, anger and the hurt of the little girl being betrayed by her daddy. Alex possibly heard the verbal tirade and decided he wanted to literally break her into behaving like the scared little girl to get some kind of point across.

Was it wise? Absolutely not. Could it cause both severe marital and emotional trauma? Yes; yes it could.

He should have given her the car keys at that point and let her go home, making his own way back.

It should have been an all ADULT conversation at that point, if Grace so wished it.

As for letting her leave right then, that would be ill advised. Both parties were reacting in anger, and they are both at fault for that. Doing anything in anger is generally not a wise move. In either case, yes, it should have been three adults in the room at that moment.

The talk with Cindy and her saying that she knew it was not her that Grace was saying this to, came totally out of nowhere. Within the context of this story, to me that seems totally out of place and perhaps needed more explanation. For example, how did she come to that conclusion? There was nothing that has been said or suggested up to that point that Grace had a bad experience with her mother or anyone else.

I think every lifelong AB has some kind of major issue with at least one person finding out about this side of us. We learn from somewhere that this isn’t normal and to hide it at the risk of emotional and physical trauma. Grace has expressed how much of a freak she feels like multiple times in this story, so something major had to have happened. It was just a question of what that was.

Now we know.

I didn’t enjoy this chapter either. I realize it was 11 pages long, but given the gravity of the situation, I feel it should have been twice that length. At the very least I feel a disclaimer should have been added.

Personally, I think BB knew this would happen. While he may be shocked at the backlash, it’s more credit to him for wrapping us up in the story and characters.

My only advice is to be very careful in how Chapter 18 is approached and dealt with to recover from this fiasco.

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Thank you, I really appreciate it!

Ahuh huh… Sorry, couldn’t resist, and some of you may not get that. :slight_smile:

Wimsett, I want to address your post separately


Thank you for the feedback. It’s worth a lot to me. I thought about doing just what you suggested, but it wouldn’t fit in with what I have planned. The quote below was the prelude to that, but I changed my mind as I continued writing:

More tears blurred her vision as she realized she was nursing her paci without realizing it. She would get spanked again if she didn’t have it in her mouth, she was sure, but the last thing she wanted was to give in to the infantile desires that plagued her. She wished that she were normal, not a sick person that craved diapers and paci’s at times. The next three days would be torture. She would have to use her baby things, and the lure would be irresistible. She would find herself nursing despite wanting to throw the paci away, like she was now. She couldn’t help it, and wished they had never come to this place.

I’ll address the other points you made in another post as well.

I’m glad you liked what you read. Thanks for the input!

Thank you Mary.

DarkAngel, I’ll also address your post in the next one. I didn’t want to have my thanks lost in the explanation I want to offer.


Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Wimsett, Lb, and DarkAngel,

I wasn’t in a place yesterday to be able to respond and I had an emergency come up as I was starting to type this so couldn’t finish it last night, but that gave me time to think about what your concerns are. As soon as I read your post Wimsett, the information I wanted to offer came to mind.

Please don’t take offense to this, but Wimsett, your post demonstrates black and white thinking. While there are definitely situations that are black and white in life, in my experience, only about 10% are black and white (clearly right or wrong), the rest are varying shades of gray. The circumstances and intent dictate the status of the situation. In dealing with imperfect people, very few situations are ever clearly right or wrong.

First, the following was spot on:

I had a good idea that some of you folks wouldn’t like some of the content in this chapter. The thing is, I strive to keep things as close to realistic as possible, and as you read this, you’ll perhaps see why I wrote things the way I did.

Second, I must agree with the following, and couldn’t have put it better myself:

Third, I’m going to address several specific statements and then I’ll explain what I was thinking when I considered how I wanted to handle 17.

I agree with this, and that is exactly why the specifics about Cindy and Glenn’s relationship are in this story at all. They illustrate the difference between someone that treats their spouse as property, and someone that doesn’t.

It wasn’t right out there, but it was subtly inferred. The conversation she had with Glenn that showed her similarities in her beginnings with him inferred the understanding. I probably should have made that more clear though. She has demonstrated insight in how she’s treated Gracie, so it isn’t a huge stretch that she would see to the heart of what was happening.

I agree that in a perfect situation, it should have, no question. This is not a perfect situation though, we’re reading about imperfect people that have no experience in what they’re trying to do.

I’d like to explain what my thought process was when I was thinking about how to approach chapter 17. It should make most of why this was written the way it was clear.

I reread the entire first fifteen chapters, paying close attention to who these people are, and the clear, and not so clear traits that they’ve either shown or alluded to.

  1. An important point I took into account was that not one of the three main characters have any experience with the situation they find themselves in, including Grace. Because of this, when I wrote this, each of them made a serious mistake. To have them get everything right wouldn’t be realistic.

Gracie went from doing this in private, to having someone care for her in a loving way, and having to behave in a way that frightens her in a public setting.

Alex has never been a parent, and yet longed to for some time. We see no mention of him having interacted with a baby in his past.

Cindy has never helped anyone through discovering that someone could know and not care, and her lifestyle doesn’t help in that it prevents her from making decisions for herself. This would increase the potential that she would choose the wrong way to go about this.

  1. I started with Grace. By the end of chapter 17, we know that she was hurt at eight years old by the very people that she looked to for love and understanding. This colored her thinking all of her life. She tells us that she didn’t trust anyone, and we see that in her hiding this for eight years from her husband. It can be assumed that she married a much larger man because she wanted that physical difference, to make her feel more like a child, even though she couldn’t bear to confide in him. Her childish behavior (jumping into his arms when he came home from a trip) is evidence to support that conclusion.

The irrational behavior toward Cindy is not an unusual tactic from someone afraid they are going to get badly hurt. They lash out in hopes that the person will go away, or at least leave the issue alone, thereby saving them from the anticipated pain.

  1. I looked at Alex next. This is a large man (6’4") and as is typical for larger men, he is very physical. Even if I didn’t know that fact, his behavior thus far would support the conclusion. When he came home from his trip to Phoenix, he didn’t sit down to talk with his wife and tell her he loved her despite everything that had happened, he showed her. He made love to her, expressing himself in a physical way rather than through words. Every interaction he had with Grace from that point involved a great deal of touch.

He’s not sure what he’s doing, but his love for this woman is beyond question in his own mind. We see him gaining confidence as time goes on, and he becomes more secure in his role as her daddy. The responsibility almost overwhelms him, but he meets it head on.

  1. Cindy is next on the list. She has experience dealing with children with special needs that would demonstrate behavior just like what Gracie wants to exhibit. She is a submissive that has grown accustomed to following directions from her master, and this is made clear in her memory of her conversation with Glenn about Gracie. She is not used to deciding for herself at this point.

She is still somewhat insecure in her place in the world. This shows in her blushing as she follows her master’s wishes and shows herself to Alex. If she had come to terms with who she was completely, the blush wouldn’t happen. We also learn she identifies with Gracie in her desire to let go and be who she wants to be.

  1. Please understand, when I write, the story often takes it’s own direction. By that I mean that I may have set the outline one way, but as I type, it takes a different path. I don’t believe it’s a conscious thing, because I seldom set out to change anything because it’s a pain having to go back and redo several chapters of outline for them to make sense again. A good example of that is I had no intention of writing the thoughts that Gracie wanted to say to Alex and Cindy when she laid in the bedroom listening to their conversation. This just happened by itself. Another one is Alex making love to his wife when he got home. That wasn’t supposed to happen.

  2. Now, when we put all of the pieces together, what happened starts to make sense. Cindy, not used to independent thought, came right out and told Gracie. There were probably a dozen better ways I could think of right off the top of my head. It needed to be this way though because she is unused to deciding for herself or others. Her relationship with Glenn over the last two years would have made her that way.

Gracie, having a history that involves ridicule, panics. For her to do otherwise wouldn’t make sense. Her first instinct is to bolt as she did when Alex found out, and as she tried to do when she woke up in the lobby.

Alex, having given her his word that he wouldn’t let her just leave, takes her back to the bed and sets her down. Any other behavior on his part would be inconsistent with what he told her. He tells her to stay there, and calls her “little girl”, letting her know that she isn’t going to be able to run away. He is following his promise to her. This makes logical sense.

It’s been said more than once, that there should have been three ADULTS in the room. Most adults would have taken pause to consider the situation when Alex brought her back to the bed. Gracie didn’t. She wasn’t looking at the world through an adult’s eyes, but through the eyes of a frightened, hurt eight year old.

Gracie sees Cindy is still there (having no idea that Cindy was told to stay with Alex) and she lashes out at her. Because of her hurt, she can see no other reason why Cindy would have treated her like a child but to ridicule her. This is also consistent, and given the information we have at the end of 17, wouldn’t be realistic if it was written any other way.

Alex, being a physical person, gets angry that Gracie has treated Cindy so badly (this is definitely realistic), and responds in a physical way, as would be his norm (again consistent with his character and earlier behavior). He warned her that he would spank her if she didn’t cooperate, and it’s not unusual that he would deem her behavior as uncooperative. His inexperience with parenthood would explain the extreme degree he takes the spanking to. His promise, and her commitment to stay a child until they got home, would explain why he wanted to hear her call him Daddy before he stopped.

  1. None of what has transpired would make Alex an asshole in my opinion. Inexperienced in dealing with children or AB’s, yes. Having made an error in judgment, absolutely. But every talk and every action, but one, has demonstrated that he loves Gracie and is genuinely concerned for her welfare.

  2. Again, Gracie’s behavior from the moment she learns that Cindy knows the truth, isn’t that of a rational adult. The instinct to run away even though she is wearing nothing on her bottom but a wet diaper (a childish impulse), the lashing out at Cindy with no evidence whatsoever that this woman meant her harm in any way, and the childish retorts she thought as she lay listening to Alex and Cindy, demonstrate that she isn’t thinking in an adult manner. Considering the circumstances, it wouldn’t be outside the norm. After all, she’s never been cared for this way before, and we see at the park that she fully indulges the little part of herself, even so far as to almost do something that could make her sick.

  3. Only when Gracie learns the truth, and can see beyond her fear of ridicule, do we see adult thought from her. She is mortified by her behavior. We see a reference to her history then, and it bothers her that she would automatically, after all these years, jump right back into the eight year old mentality. She decides that the spanking was justified. This is another mistake on her part, and shows just how much Alex’s caring for her as a little girl means to her. It’s not unusual to see acceptance of unacceptable treatment when the threat of losing something so important looms over a person’s head. This doesn’t make Gracie ridiculous, but in need of reevaluating her priorities. Again, she’s not perfect, and that comes through here loud and clear.

I really appreciate each and every one of you folk’s input when I post a chapter. I didn’t write this this way to put anyone off, but to stay consistent with the people and circumstances of the world I was creating. I don’t take offense when someone tells me that they don’t like a particular piece I’ve written, as it would be extremely unusual if everyone liked everything I wrote. Not to mention that the particular subject matter I’m writing about carries triggers for demons that lurk in some readers closets. I try to take that into account and avoid it, but sometimes it’s not possible to do and stay true to the story.

The one mistake I made here (as I see it) is I didn’t post a disclaimer like DarkAngel suggested. That would have at least let you folks know that things were going to get a bit difficult.

I hope this helps explain why, knowing this would be difficult for some of you, I wrote it as I did anyway.

Sorry this was so long, but there was a lot to cover.



Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Excellently written chapter, BB! Even before your long explanation, I thought I saw what you were doing. I didn’t want to comment until you addressed the issues.

The fact that we care so much about what your characters do is a great testament to your writing ability. Keep up the good work!

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

I agree with Tommy, BB!! While difficult to read, this was an excellent chapter, as it gave insight to Gracie’s past & what she was looking for from Alex!!

Keep it up & I am looking forward to more!!

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

I made an account to post that, my first message, willing to tell you that, even with those bad reply saying that chapter sucked, I believe it was fantastic, your a very good writter, making a story that long and still, there’s many more chapters to come. I hope you will keep writting it, ill always read it as it’s one of my favorite.

seriously bud, keep up the good work, it’s awesome.

Re: Amazing Grace Chapter 17

Thanks Folks,

I really appreciate the encouragement. It means a lot to me.

I was really tired the last day or two, so couldn’t write. I’ll be working on it today.

Thanks again,