Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Hey guys,

I have been reading the stories here for some time now and its my first time writing one myself. To be honest, I struggled with moving from one person’s thoughts to another and, in hindsight, I haven’t even went deep into the thoughts and feelings of my protagonist in the prologue or first chapter. I seriously intend to continue this but anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it and give loads of feedback.

Cheers

PS:This was written in Word so I apologize in advance for any punctuation issues and such

Prologue
And there she stood face against the full-height glass windows of her New York penthouse the dim halogen bulbs illuminating the back of her pink dress and cinnamon hair. Beyond the image of her face reflected in the glass sat the amber leafed trees of central park and the gorgeous blue waters of the Hudson. Behind her, the elevator doors slid open. The man walked out and greeted Alycia with a smile and asked: “How was your day baby girl?”. His question only replied with a faint smile. As he picked her up, he could feel the squishiness of her pull-up under the satin dress “someone needs a change huh” he commented. Alycia let a giggle escape as he deftly picked his little girl up and carried her back to her room and playfully dropped her on her four-poster bed.

As he set her down, he decided to ask Alycia about trying toilet training again. He had tried before. Multiple times. The last time he tried, it resulted in Alycia getting a UTI and constipation from holding it in too long. While changing her, he asked again “Don’t you want to use the toilet like mom and dad?”. His question was responded to by a “No! I like my diapers!”. Immune to further disappointment, he quickly completed changing his five-year-old wondering how she stayed so attached to her babyish things even protesting violently when they made her go cold turkey. She was brilliant for her age, ready to go to elementary school the following year and reading books for teens and even adults with ease. Despite all this, she still took comfort in being treated like a 2-year-old.

After he was done changing her, he brought her out to the dining table and sat her down. His wife walked out of the kitchen with a piping hot casserole and set it down on a cork mat. She served the casserole to her family and finally to herself. She stared at the plate, mind filled with worries. Was Alycia going to fit into elementary school? Would she be shunned for wearing diapers? Who was going to change her? Her child sat opposite her, blissfully ignorant, munching away at the tuna bake. When she entered her daughter’s room, she was not surprised to find her head buried in the book and wrapped in her security blanket. She instructed her daughter to finish the chapter as she shook the milk bottle.

After completing the nighttime chores, the whole family adjourned to the hall where they watched a cold war documentary. Alycia listened intently not even noticing that she had wet herself. As the credits rolled, she stood up and went to her room knowing it was her reading time. The couple sat down and decided to watch an episode of Modern Family knowing it was Alycia’s reading time. A few feet away, Alycia sat on her bed reading a copy of Jules Verne’s Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.

In the hall, Regina told her husband that she would do the nighttime stuff and relive her husband after a hard day of work. She strolled into the kitchen and warmed Alycia’s milk in the microwave. When the timer reached zero, she took the milk bottle out and screwed on the teat and grabbed Alycia’s pacifier on the way out of the kitchen.

When she entered her daughter’s room, she was not surprised to find her head buried in the book and wrapped in her security blanket. She instructed her daughter to finish the chapter as she shook the milk bottle. After Alycia had finished the chapter, Regina doffed her daughter’s satin dress and threw it in the laundry basket. She led her daughter by the hand and carefully removed her wet pull-up and gently sponged her down in the washroom. After her shower, she helped her daughter dry herself and had her lie down on her bed. She went to the next cupboard and took out Alycia’s pampers overnight diaper and footed pajamas. She lifted Alycia’s legs expertly, sliding the plastic garment under her buttocks before securing the tapes. She then grabbed the footed pajamas and helped Alycia into them.

After her daughter was clothed, she sat down at the head of the bed and placed her daughter’s head in her lap. She put the teat into Alycia’s mouth, and air bubbled through the milk as the bottle emptied into her little girl’s stomach. After Alycia had finished her bottle, her mom popped her pacifier into her mouth and kissed her goodnight before pulling her security blanket up to her arms making sure she was warm for the night. As she walked away to turn in herself, she saw her daughter illuminated by the ambient city light blissfully sucking on her paci.

Chapter 1
Ten Years Later…
The chemistry teacher rambled on about bond enthalpies and chemical energetics as Alycia sat bored and stared out the window. As predictably as ever, the teacher called on her to answer the question. She strolled up to the blackboard, her wet Underjam barely visible under her skinny jeans stretching to reach the top of the board, she completed the question with ease and flashed her teacher a sly smile. As she returned to her desk, she spotted Bailey smiling at her out of the corner of her eye. She smiled back knowing that Bailey was probably just happy that someone saved the class from a lecture about attentiveness. The rest of the class went on uneventfully with the teacher assigning homework and reminding the class about that they would have to begin their group projects soon before dismissing them. Alycia adjourned to the cafeteria with her friends discussing the latest celebrity gossip and their favorite music. After her friends had left for the subway, she went to change her pull-up before heading home.

Stepping into the washroom, it reeked of mildew after continuous use. The floor was slightly damp from a leaky tap in the corner. Alycia quickly shuffled into a cubicle and zipped her jeans down as she carefully checked her Underjam. She was about to tear the sides as the washroom door flung open. Her heart skipped a beat and decided that it would be too indiscreet to change with someone else there. Her pull-up was dry enough to last the trip home anyway. Hopefully. She opened the cubicle door and washed her hands as if she had used the toilet. She exited the washroom and made for the main gate. Her phone buzzed with the Uber “arriving” notification as she increased her pace. By the time she got to the foyer, the Toyota was there awaiting her arrival. Alycia got in and greeted her Uber driver before confirming her preferred route. As they set off, she let her mind wander and she began imagining Bailey as her prom date. She did have a little crush on him after all. Sitting with him in a limo, dancing with him, all just seemed so dreamy and unrealistic.

The car soon came to a halt as she stepped out of the car. She thanked the driver and made the six paces to her building. The doorman greeted her with a smile, and she reciprocated. She headed for the lift tapping her card and indicating her floor. As the steel doors shut on the futuristic reception area, the elevator shot up the building. On the way up. A slight damp spot formed on her crotch. She cursed silently as the doors slid open. “Home sweet home” she exclaimed. She dropped her keys into the porcelain bowl and made a beeline for her bathroom hastily dumping her backpack in her room.

Stripping down, she wiped the pee dribbles on her dirty jeans with a wet cloth and hopped into the shower. She walked into her closet and grabbed a Cruisers diaper from the top shelf before taking a pair of gray workout shorts and navy digital camo tank top. She quickly lay down on her bed diapering herself and donning her home clothes with the light green band of her diaper barely peeking over her shorts. She hung her slightly damp jeans in the washroom and made a mental note to dump it with the rest of her laundry later with the rest of her school outfit and dumped her wet Underjam in the trash. She spun her fluffy towel around her head and examined her room. The bright pink walls shouted at her and the magnificent four poster bed remained the centerpiece of her palace forever reminding her naïve wish to be a princess. Next to the window sat the new addition to the room a dark mahogany desk and a Herman Miller chair with a million-dollar view.

Alycia opened her backpack and took out her chemistry book and breezed through the supposedly “difficult” homework. She was unfazed by the view having spent many hours considering the ever-changing New York City. Looking at her calendar, she noticed prom was soon approaching began stressing herself out at the thought of having to find a date and a beautiful enough dress that could conceal her little secret. Bailey would never go with me. She ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair frustrated. With a sigh, she caved. The stress was too much. Alycia opened her top right drawer and retrieved her Little Mermaid pacifier. Ariel’s red hair had faded to a brown and her once green eyes now gray. The silicone teat showed the scars of Alycia’s fifteen years of use. She clipped her pacifier to the shoulder strap of her tank top and retrieved her timeless security blanket that rested between her down pillows.

Gently placing her accessories down on the L-shaped leather couch, she went to the kitchen and found a half-finished Frappuccino. Perfect. She retrieved her baby bottle and poured the ice-blended coffee mixture in. Screwing on the cap, she carried her little treat to the hall. The curved LG television flickered to life and surround system doled out its traditional power-on tone. She wrapped herself in her blanky and sucked on her Frap as she shuffled through the channels, she finally decided on Mr. Robot. After suckling through the drink, she lay the bottle down on the coffee table and slid the pacifier into her mouth. Swaddled in her blanket, she found it surprising how ‘little Ariel’ never failed to give her instant comfort even after all these years. She lay there perpendicular to the TV tossing and turning ever so often without a care in the world enjoying the TV show

The lift doors opened once again and Regina walked out. Passing through the hall on the way to the master bedroom, she spotted her daughter holding her blanket like her life depended on it. Almost wrapped in it like a burrito. She knew that her daughter’s coping mechanism for stress was regression. If anything, she encouraged it knowing that it was better than the alternatives of drugs and alcohol. She Alycia with a wave and Alycia waved with a beaming smile growing behind her pacifier. Soon after, Colt returned and dinner was on the way. The whole family sat in the hall waiting unfazed by their daughter’s behavior. For them this was all a normal occurrence, Alycia used her pacifier almost daily, and she still drank from a baby bottle whenever she was at home.

The doorbell rang and the ceremonial cash-pie exchange occurred. The pepperoni pizza was set down on the marble bar counter, and they all sat down and ate. Colt poured wine for himself and Regina and Alycia filled her baby bottle with sweet tea.

Knowing prom was on the horizon Colt asked: “Have a prom date yet baby girl?”
Alycia shook her head and replied with a dejected “No.”
“Have anyone in mind?” Alycia’s Dad inquired.
Almost at the brink of tears, she replied “Yes.”

After a leisurely dinner, Alycia filled her bottle with warm milk and collected her things before retiring to her room to do some reading before she went to bed. She lay on her side sipping her milk with her right hand and re-reading Orwell’s 1984 with her left. Alycia set the empty bottle down and sucked on her paci. She rolled over, diaper crinkling and squishing in the process as her phone buzzed on the bedside table.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Your self-critique is good, showing you are aware what you need to work on.

For a first-time, this is good. Alycia seems gifted with intelligence but resistant to change, a believable combination in a child. However, it seems like her first social opportunity is going to be school?has she never been to daycare? It also seems inconsistent that Alycia is living in a deluxe apartment in the sky, but going to what seems like public school with leaky toilets. Wouldn’t she go to a decent private school?

Do please write more.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

It’s well written. It’s too early for me to see any depth overall but I think this one will be interesting.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

As mentioned, this is well written. There are a few cases, mostly in the prologue, where I find the word usage a bit odd to my sense of definition or custom. Not enough to be wrong, though.

One thing I found doubtful is that her pacifier could survive the use described, and furthermore, I can’t really imagine her using a paci of such a small size at her age. The blanket, on the other hand, I would expect to be at least a little frayed on the edges, if not tattered.

I’ll be following this one.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Thanks for taking the time to read my story and for the feedback.

Just to update everyone, Chinese New Year is coming up so I will be away for around a week starting the 25th but I will try to get 1 or 2 chapters out before then

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

[QUOTE=Peri;66655]Your self-critique is good, showing you are aware what you need to work on.

For a first-time, this is good. Alycia seems gifted with intelligence but resistant to change, a believable combination in a child. However, it seems like her first social opportunity is going to be school?has she never been to daycare? It also seems inconsistent that Alycia is living in a deluxe apartment in the sky, but going to what seems like public school with leaky toilets. Wouldn’t she go to a decent private school?

Do please write more.[/QUOTE]

Well, she would have been home-schooled for the earlier years. (This is why the mother’s entrance is not mentioned in the prologue and how she enters first in chapter 1. I hoped it would allow readers to draw contrast but perhaps I was a touch too subtle).

As to what type of school Alycia attends, I’ll leave that to be revealed.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Hi. In the future could you please not use the Delete Post function as a substitute for the Edit Post function. :slight_smile:

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Hi again,
Seems like a positive response to the story so far. Unfortunately, I have only been able to complete a chapter. As mentioned above, I will be away for Chinese New Year so I will be taking a week break from the story. In this chapter I feel that the transitions were abit smoother and Alycia’s thoughts and feelings were explored more but I also feel that I slightly overused parataxis here. Thoughts? Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Cheers [U]

Chapter 2[/U]
Rolling back over she sat up and glanced at her phone to find the sky-blue mail icon staring back into her eyes accompanied by a bolded title “Chemistry Groupings”. Swiping left, she keyed in her password to find a short note from her chemistry teacher indicating that the attachment below contained the groupings for the project. Alycia’s heart skipped a beat as the progress bar ticked closer and closer to 100%, the two-column table began to fill the page. Scrolling down, she saw her name next to Bailey’s and fell back down to the bed in blissful relief before drifting off into a deep slumber.

At first, she felt her shoulder shaking before the cold draft of the air conditioner blew across her body. Her eyes opened to her mom smiling down at her and she pushed the her blanket off. She hopped off her bed as her mom left the room. Re-checking her phone, she confirmed the reality of her situation smiling at the notion of spending more time with Bailey. She popped the pacifier out of her mouth and unclipped it before placing it next to her sink in a small ceramic ramekin. She brushed her teeth as she stripped down and put her tank top and shorts on her “still gonna wear” hanger and disposed of her drenched diaper. Hopping into the shower, she slowly lathered herself with soap and massaged shampoo through her hair. The warm water calmed her leaving her devoid of thoughts and worries except for that of the impending chemistry project.

After donning her Underjam, she put on a pair of black cargo pants, a white blouse, and a light pink trench coat. Carrying the ramekin and her backpack out, she set her backpack down before going to prep a cup of coffee greeting her parents in the process. Grabbing her baby bottle from the closet, she set it below the nozzles and pressed latte. The rich milky mixture flowed out and filled the bottle as she sterilized her pacifier while waiting. She took her pacifier out of the water and made a run back to her room placing ‘little Ariel’ back in her desk drawer. Collecting her coffee, she walked out to the marble counter to find a petite stack of pancakes drenched in syrup. She dug in alternating the starchy sugary goodness with the fruity bitterness of the coffee wiping her plate clean. Dumping it in the dishwasher, they went their separate ways with Regina sending Alycia to school before work and Colt taking the subway to his high-profile Wall Street job.

The car ride went on with mom prodding Alycia over and over about her prom date. Finally, Alycia broke revealing her little crush on Bailey and saying that she would be working with him on the project. Regina looked at her daughter with a tinge of pity and almost worry. Prom was a big milestone in her own life and she worried that Bailey would not be accepting of her daughter’s quirks. Heck she worried about anyone seeing Alycia’s room as during the years that Alycia was in school, she never invited anyone over but instead went over to her friend’s houses.

Alycia bid her mom goodbye as the ocean blue Mercedes sedan pulled out of the school foyer. As she made her way to the cafeteria and spotted bailey at her locker. Biting her lip, she managed a wave and they decided on going to Alycia’s house after school despite her protests.

The day went by without any hiccups with Literature, Calculus, and Biology to occupy her time except for the thought of Bailey seeing her room niggling away at her. Unfortunately, Alycia’s mom was in a meeting and could not give her room a “big girl” makeover.

The school bell rung for the last time for the day and Alycia headed to the foyer to meet Bailey. Standing there in his slim fit denim jeans and t-shirt she giggled quietly and bit her lip. Walking up, she shifted the slider right selecting Uber Black and told him that their Uber was on the way.
A while later, a posh black BMW pulled up and the driver got out of the car to help them in. Having watched Alycia’s regular going-home routine over the months, he knew she was doing something special for him. Alycia decided to invite Bailey to stay for dinner which he accepted and the conversation evolved into trading information about their favorite TV shows and music.

The car came to a stop as they both thanked the driver and went into the building. As usual, the doorman greeted them with a smile but Alycia only managed to reciprocate with a face of nervousness. Fear.

The lift doors opened to the apartment and Bailey gasped quietly at the enormousness of the hall. She showed him to her room. The breathtaking views of New York city poured through the giant glass panes into his eyes. A sight of majesty. Across the room, sat a four-poster bed adorned with Care Bear stuffies on the headstand. He smiled at Alycia’s cute childishness. It was just plain adorable. Sitting down at Alycia’s desk he ran his hands over the mahogany surface feeling the grain of the wood at the tip of his fingers. Behind him, he could hear Alycia yelling at him and telling him she was gonna shower.

Alycia looked back at Bailey smiling and instinctively went for a diaper. Unbeknownst to her, she grabbed the bag instead of a single diaper and she stumbled backwards with a half-used pack of Cruisers Size 7 littered all over the floor. Instinctively, Bailey turned around and found Alycia on the floor. Without a second thought he blurted the words out “You wear diapers?”.

He stood up and walked over to help pick the diapers up. After he picked up a fair few, a teary-eyed Alycia nodded innocently. Reaching over, he gave her a big hug and assured that it would stay their little secret and told her that he would wait in the hall. Picking up a final diaper for herself, she retreated into the bathroom and put her back against the door and slid down to the cold marble floor with the gel filled Underjam cushioning her fall. She was at a loss for words. Why today? Why did he have to see it? Will he really keep it a secret? She collected herself and hopped into the shower letting the water relieve her of her greatest worry. The one in the hall.

She dried her hair and tried to reassure herself. Bailey was a nice enough guy. She dried her hair and diapered herself on her bed. She instinctively grabbed her security blanket but paused for a second as she put it back in its place before texting her mom that Bailey would stay for dinner. Alycia left her room with only her laptop and chemistry textbook under her arm. She felt empty without her pacifier or blanket. Naked.

Outside, Bailey stood at the bookshelf admiring Alycia’s pictures. She looked so cute and fragile in her pictures. He looked up and saw her across the room carrying her stuff to the dining table setting it down on the oversized glass surface. Walking closer, he pointed to the plastic chain dangling from her tank top’s shoulder strap. Her face turning red, she stared at the floor and mumbled “Pacifier holder”. Bailey shrugged his shoulders, indifferent.

They discussed their work and decided to complete the project over the weekend. Heading over to the TV area, Alycia switched on the TV and handed him the remote smiling. After some time watching Mr. Robot, a smell filled the room.

Bailey turned around and asked “What is that smell?”
Alycia turned around seemingly unaffected by the smell questioned “What smell?”
Bailey finally deduced the cause of the smell and inquired “Did you shit yourself?”

Shocked by the revelation and embarrassment, Alycia broke down in tears knowing she messed herself in front of her crush. Thoughts about Bailey’s assumed disgust filled her head. Bailey was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do. All he could do was pull her closer and hug her tightly in an attempt to console her. He could still smell the lavender and bergamot in her hair despite Alycia’s little accident. After the sobs and hiccups that came after, Alycia just drifted off to dream world.

He remembered the security blanket, stuffies and pacifier clip indicating a pacifier. Trying to keep her comfortable he briskly walked into Alycia’s room and grabbed the security blanket, stuffie and placed them at the foot of her bed and began the hunt for the elusive pacifier. He went to the bookshelf and searched row by row to no avail. He entered the massive bathroom and still found nothing. As for the nightstands, zilch. He finally sat down on the chair and opened the top right drawer. Bingo.

Bailey walked out into the hall and sat down beside Alycia and carefully sandwiched one side of the blanket between Alycia’s body and the sofa’s back-rest to make sure it didn’t run. He nudged her awake and handed her the pacifier which she gladly accepted. He then handed her the Care-Bear which she grabbed sleepily and hugged it close to her chest smiling. Although she was comforted superficially, her emotions were in a turmoil. He’s going to tell someone now. This is million-dollar gossip. Now slightly more awake, she sat up and looked at him. Bailey looked at her. Her hair was slightly messy but her face looked like she had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She probably thinks that I am gonna tell everyone. She thinks that I’m a creep for giving her the blanky, pacifier and toy.

Bailey gave his best reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I don’t think this is creepy or disgusting. I won’t tell anyone.”
Alycia smiled back and replied “Thanks. I don’t know if anyone else would keep this secret for me.”
“Hey, it’s fine. If anything, I think it’s kinda cute that you have not lost touch with your younger self.” He replied.

Alycia smiled and she motioned for Bailey to let her sleep on his lap. He slid along the sofa and Alycia rested her head on his lap drifting off to sleep once again. Too afraid to wake her, Bailey sat there for the rest of the evening stroking her long chocolate hair.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Nice story :slight_smile: . I want to read more!

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

I have been pretty packed after I returned from my trip and haven’t had time to continue. Rest assured, I do intend to see this story to the end.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

I am enjoying this story so far but I keep getting hung up on your brand names. Underjams X/XL, the largest size, fits girls up to 85 pounds. A sixteen year old girl, if she were unusually small, could conceivably be 85 pounds, but if she were at all normal sized this would be desperately anorexic. And Pampers Cruisers 7 fit 41 pound and up: that just ain’t happening. :slight_smile: Along with the baby paci that, as Ally mentioned, somehow miraculously still fits her when she is sixteen (and has held its shape after more than a decade of use!), you need to give this girl adult diapers.

Oh, and I think you need to give her diapers! Your premise here is that she is fully incontinent, right? Both ways, as she demonstrates in this chapter. No way does she wear pull-up type underwear. Besides, it doesn’t hold enough for someone who is truly IC.

Keep it up! It’s a good piece!

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Yes, they won’t fit a teen in real life, but this does not neccesarily have to be based completely off of real life. If the author wants to have the store sell baby diapers that fit teens, that is the author’s choice. Maybe they are not even baby diapers, but adult ones modeled after baby diapers. This is a fictional story, and as a result certain elements of reality can be bent to the author’s will.

Also a teen might wear pull-ups for the sake of pull-ups being easy to hide.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

[QUOTE=Little-Neko;67934]Yes, they won’t fit a teen in real life, but this does not neccesarily have to be based completely off of real life. If the author wants to have the store sell baby diapers that fit teens, that is the author’s choice. Maybe they are not even baby diapers, but adult ones modeled after baby diapers. This is a fictional story, and as a result certain elements of reality can be bent to the author’s will.

Also a teen might wear pull-ups for the sake of pull-ups being easy to hide.[/QUOTE]

Oh, sure: I’m all about granting an author his/her premise. That’s what readers do! But writers have to be practical about it as well: when they use brand names from the real world, those brand names come with baggage from the real world. We know what they are. And while there is no problem whatsoever with “a store that sells baby diapers that fit teens,” Pampers Cruisers Size 7 are not it. They are very specific, real world diapers that would not in any scenario fit a teen. Many writers use the fictional “Pampers Princess” product to cover this notion.

As to the pull-ups: sure, she may want something easy to hide. But if she is bowel incontinent, that means multiple uncontrolled accidents a day, likely with no warning. And a pull-up just won’t handle that; it isn’t meant to. Also (as many, many stories have accurately pointed out) pull-ups are not meant for someone who is incontinent; they are meant for someone who has occasional accidents. So she may want something easy to hide, but her reality is that she would opt for diapers after the first, second, or third embarrassing public accident.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge tells us that being a reader/viewer of literature involves a “willing suspension of disbelief.” That’s what “granting the author his/her premise” is all about. But authors too have a responsibility in this. If they don’t want to take us out of the story, they need to be aware of when they are doing things that might do just that. Easy examples are bad grammar and stiff dialogue: when we read a story and we need to stop to parse the linguistics, we are no longer in its world. Another example is falling victim to overdone tropes without irony or some other purpose: we start thinking about the tropes instead of the story and once again we are outside of the author’s intended world. Using brand names can create verisimilitude, but it’s also dangerous. I binged “The Sopranos,” for example, and in doing so I started noticing the outrageously obvious product placement in their kitchen. Maybe it wasn’t obvious if you were only watching weekly, but it was such a distraction in a binge watch that I was thinking about cereal brands instead of the family dynamics. I wanted to suspend my disbelief, but I kept being pulled out.

Here, it is the diaper brands. Using them in this unrealistic way isn’t “bending reality to the author’s will.” It’s asking the reader to accept something that is blatantly unrealistic. That is very different. If magic were involved, then fine. But it isn’t; that’s not the world of this tale. (And, see, magic can be “realistic” within a story if it is part of the author’s premise.) So anyway I hope that explains what I was saying in my earlier post. :slight_smile:

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Nice explanation, Kerry.

When it comes to magic, it works if the suspension of disbelief asked of the reader is “magic exists”. In order to keep that, the author must devise a system for how that magic works, and stick to it. For a short story, that can be a vague notion in the head, merely because there isn’t much time to develop inconsistencies. If you get to a novel or especially a series of novels, you are more likely to need to actually write out the dry, boring manual of magic that no one except a few dedicated fans will actually be interested in reading so that you can keep the system of magic plausible.

It’s the same with stories that include astronomical phenomena. Some authors will have the sun and moon in positions that just aren’t possible. For many people, they will miss that, but readers who really understand the motions will catch the errors, and get distracted from the story.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

[QUOTE=ally;67949]Nice explanation, Kerry.

When it comes to magic, it works if the suspension of disbelief asked of the reader is “magic exists”. In order to keep that, the author must devise a system for how that magic works, and stick to it. For a short story, that can be a vague notion in the head, merely because there isn’t much time to develop inconsistencies. If you get to a novel or especially a series of novels, you are more likely to need to actually write out the dry, boring manual of magic that no one except a few dedicated fans will actually be interested in reading so that you can keep the system of magic plausible.

It’s the same with stories that include astronomical phenomena. Some authors will have the sun and moon in positions that just aren’t possible. For many people, they will miss that, but readers who really understand the motions will catch the errors, and get distracted from the story.[/QUOTE]

Right! And that goes for any science, historical, or other factual information. Basically, if it can be looked up, look it up​.

Re: Alycia: The girl who never grew up

Good story. But I’d love to see more real diapers