Alvin Ever After:
Alvin in the Third
A novel by Danny
And So We Go…
So, you’ve come back for more, have you? Well that’s good because I have more to tell about myself. For those that don’t know who I am, my name is Alvin Colton Holloway. Up until several months ago I used to live in a beautiful California town known as Chula Vista which, when translated, means Heaven on Earth. OK, it doesn’t really mean that, but don’t you think it should, because I sure do! Anyway, in Chula Vista I had ‘normal’ friends, went to a normal school and surfed nearly every day of the year. Not that I’m bragging or anything, but I was fairly good at surfing too and I’d even won the Junior Surfing Championship two years in a row. Okay, maybe I am bragging a bit, but heck, if I don’t do it, who will? Everything I loved about life in California was taken from me, or more rightly said, I was taken from it, when my parents decided that we needed to move all the way across the country to Lewiston, Maine, where it’s always too cold to surf and where I had no friends. I say ‘had’ because after a while I did make a few friends here, but they are all — well, the only word I can use to accurately describe them is Abnormal with a capital-Weird!
Gee-whiz, how do I tell you about my new friends? I guess there is no other option then to come right out and tell you… I’ve become friends with six Maine residents and fellow students at Boyd Junior High who epitomize the term Abnormal. Four of those six are guys who are completely unusual because they all wear diapers of one kind of another. Then there are these two girls that both used to have a crush on me, but thankfully they both got over it. I’m a one girl kind of guy and my girl lives in Ohio. I’ll give you the basics on each of my new friends and in no particular order either.
Stacks is a freshman girl at my school but that isn’t her real name, it’s just a nickname she picked up from playing hockey which she is really good at. Her real name is Hillary Thennings but so far I’ve only ever heard her being called that by her parents, everyone else just calls her Stacks. Her step dad, Mr. Rawnwe, runs a famous French restaurant here in Lewiston where Stacks sometimes works as a part-time parking vale’. Besides being one of the most popular girls in our school, she has another secret identity that only a handful of us know about. Those of us that have been trusted with this information also know Stacks by her online screen name of ‘Sissy4U’, which she uses when she frequents a website known as ILD.com. ILD stands for I Like Diapers. I’ll tell you more about that website later. Stacks doesn’t wear diapers like I do, but she likes to think of herself as a surrogate big sister to all the diaper wearing guys and girls that frequent the site.
Stacks’ has a younger step-sister named Bertha and let me tell you that… well, how does someone go about describing a girl like Bertha? She’s a unique piece of work in her own right. Though Bertha says she isn’t into Goth, she sure dresses and acts like she is. She’s also very anti-bathing, anti-deodorant, and anti-anything else that might make her more palatable to the rest of the world. I found out recently that Bertha is a year older than I am, but she is in the same grade due to being held back way back in fifth grade like once or twice or something like that. It is honestly hard for me to keep it all straight in my head! Lots of people consider Bertha a bully and the leader of the worst bullies in our school, but there is so much more to her than that. Bertha, though cruel at times, has a tender and emotional side that only her closest friends get a glimpse of every so often. She’s also madly in love with Larry. There was a time earlier this school year where Larry and I ended up competing for the right to call Bertha our girlfriend, which is really weird because I didn’t then nor do I now have any of those sorts of lovey-dovey feelings toward Bertha. Actually, that idea is rather nauseating for me.
Larry is also my age but one grade ahead in school because he spent a year living with an Uncle and Aunt due to some trouble he got into in Maine when he was seven. His Aunt and Uncle had home schooled him for that year and he managed to get ahead of everyone else back here in Lewiston. During that year he also learned to speak Russian which I think is cool, but he never uses it mostly because he doesn’t want people to think he is smart. When he came back to school, he was tested and got to skip a full grade. He is like the second in command of our schools bully gang; although, until recently he’s not been doing a whole lot of bullying. You see, a while back he and I got into a fight. We both got banged up but he came out on the losing end with a badly broken leg. Oh that makes it sound like I beat the crap out of him; that wasn’t the case at all. I had flipped him off me and when he landed; his leg managed to get caught between two trees and ended up twisted and badly broken. He was in a cast for the better part of the school year and has had two operations. He’s got a metal plate and screws in his leg now and about a month ago he finally got rid of his wheelchair and is allowed to use crutches full time. When he was in the chair he seemed a lot more humble, or maybe the word should be pathetic, but now that he is up and about, he’s back to his normal evil self. Then again, he wouldn’t be Larry if he stayed a nice guy the rest of his life. It was shortly after our fight that I learned that Larry wears diapers at night too however he’s not a member of ILD.com. Larry keeps his wetting problem very secretive. As a matter of fact, aside from Stacks and me, no one outside of his family knows and Larry doesn’t even know that I know. However, Larry does know about me wearing them but he doesn’t ever bring it up now that we’re such good friends. Actually, there was this one day about two weeks ago when I had a diaper failure in English class. Larry helped smuggle me to the nurse’s office without anyone finding out. That was one of his rare good moments.
I guess if I am telling you about Larry, then logic says I should tell you next about his twin brother Christian or Chris as he prefers to be called. Actually, Chris HATES being called by his real name. Although Larry and Chris are twins they look and act nothing alike. Whereas Larry is outgoing and always getting into trouble, Chris is quiet and most of the time goes unnoticed by everyone around him. The main reason Chris is so quiet is because he has a really bad stuttering problem and because of that, he almost never talks. Oddly though, Chris can sing like nobody’s business and he’s an amazingly good drummer too. He and his band ‘The Glass Gloves’ played at my twelfth birthday party and boy can they rock. Chris and Larry were both born prematurely with underdeveloped organs. For Larry it’s just his plumbing, I mean like his kidneys and bladder; but Chris, has a lot of other problems besides his plumbing such as his lungs and his guts and stuff like that. However, when Chris wasn’t even one-year-old he had an operation that partially fixed his lungs. He’s allergic to just about everything you can imagine; he sleeps in an oxygen tent at night and takes like a hundred different pills every day. Besides all that, he’s basically a normal guy like me. There is one other thing about Chris; I’m sure you’ve already guessed that he wears diapers too, but unlike his twin brother he wears them all day, every day. Also unlike Larry, he is a member of ILD.com however he doesn’t like people in the real world to know about it. Actually, only Stacks and I know that he is really Wet_Dwaggy on ILD.com; not even his brother knows about that site, which is amazing in and of itself. Besides the fact that they are twin brothers, Chris and Larry have very little to do with each other. Chris has become my best friend in the whole wide world, although we almost never were friends. When I first found out about his needing to wear diapers Chris was mortified and it took Stacks, forcing the two of us to talk one day after school to get us past that. She had locked the three of us inside the nurses’ office at the end of the day and wouldn’t let us leave until Chris and I were friends. From then on Chris and I have been best of buds. At school we don’t hang together very much because he doesn’t like being seen with his brother but when we are not at school we hang out together all the time. For obvious reasons he can’t sleep over with me, but I’ve slept over at his place a few times. He and I had planned ahead and didn’t tell his parents about my wetting problem at night; we kept that a secret just between the two of us. The few times I have slept over, I have made sure I got changed at home before going there and I just slept in my clothes in a sleeping bag on the floor. Then the last time I stayed over I took my stuff with me and after having my bath Chris helped me get diapered in the bathroom.
My other two friends who basically live in Larry’s shadow are BB and Fish. BB, whose real name is Bruce Spawlding Junior, is actually the exact same age as me. We only discovered that about ourselves when I invited him to my birthday party. The party ended up being a double party, mostly because Bruce’s parents hardly ever remember his birthday. However, we’ve since learned that I am older by thirteen hours and twenty-seven minutes, a fact that I remind him about every chance I get. BB is also a member of ILD.com and is known as BB-N2-TB-DL but also goes by the name Baby Bruce. And yes, you guessed it; he’s a diaper wearer too. Although, unlike the rest of us he doesn’t need to wear them; he only wears them because he likes them. I know… it took me a while to get used to that idea too.
Something else I should share about BB, ILD.com, and myself is that I got BB into some serious trouble on ILD the day after that big birthday party. A bunch of us were in the ILD Chat Room talking with Daddy_Phil and Mommy_Beth (I’ll tell you more about them later) who run the site. Anyway, I let on that BB and I just turned twelve the day before and that we had the same birthday. Well, when BB registered for ILD.com he lied about his age, to make others think he was older. Daddy_Phil was not happy about this and was so angry that he almost band BB from ILD for life. For like two weeks BB would not talk to me. We’ve since made up and are cool now, but for a while there I thought I had lost a good friend. Another fact about BB is that he is gay and doesn’t care who knows it. I guess he can get away with that because he hangs around with the likes of Bertha and Larry and no one is going to risk getting on their hit list.
And then there is Fish, whose real name is Dana McKaty and now you can see why he’s called Fish. What boy would ever want to be known by a girly name like Dana? I mean, that is just asking to get teased by classmates. However, I guess the same argument can be used for having a name like Fish. Of course, upon learning Fish’s real name and being the good friend that I am, I started calling him McCatfish. Boy, he really hates it too! For the most part Fish is a Xerox copy of BB as far as personality and the fact that he too is gay and a diaper wearer. Although, I guess that is where the similarities end because Fish has a legitimate reason for wearing diapers. For the first few months that I knew about Fish’s diaper wearing I thought it was only because he has a problem with wetting like me, but I’ve since learned, and he doesn’t know I know this about him, the reason he has a wetting problem is because his old man used to regularly beat the crap out of him. When he was something like two and a half his dad had kicked him so hard in the back that he nearly killed Fish. Fish spent almost a year in the hospital and he didn’t start walking until he was over four-years-old. For all that, his old man only spent eighteen months in jail and I guess he still sometimes hits on Fish. Fish is also a member of ILD.com and goes by the screen name of PampersBoy. Oh and if you haven’t guessed yet, BB and Fish are an item.
Those are the friends I’ve made here in Lewiston, Maine but they are not my only friends. I also made a couple other friends, Joey and Jacquelyn who both live outside of Maine. I keep in contact with them via email, letters, phone conversations, and I’ve even been to visit Joey a few times.
Joey, who is only eight-years-old, is probably my second best friend in the whole-wide-world next to Chris. You know something funny about him? When I first met him I thought he was only five or six. I guess that is because he is kind of on the short side and his mother dresses him like he’s still that young. Joey’s like the little brother I never had. And his Mom and dad are like my second set of parents. I even call them Mommy and Daddy now and Joey does the same with my parents as well. It gets kind of confusing when we’re all together, but it is also kind of funny at the same time. Joey and his mom were just here to visit during spring break and boy I miss them so much already.
Something really weird about Joey and his mom is that I met them before I found out about ILD.com, however sometime after I met them I found out that it is Joey’s Mom and dad that run the ILD.com website. They are known as Mommy_Beth and Daddy_Phil and Joey is known as LilPrince. However, I’ve been sworn to secrecy about their real world identities. About a month after I found out about ILD.com and about Joey and his parents I found out that my parents knew about them and their site long before I did. I’ll tell you more about that later. As for Daddy_Phil, I actually only ever knew him online because he was in the military fighting in the war in the Middle East.
So are you wondering how I found out that Joey and his parents were LilPrince, Mommy_Beth and Daddy_Phil? Yeah well it’s not such a big deal. I was alone in the ILD Chat Room with LilPrince. We were talking about stuff when he started telling me about a friend of his who surfs. Of course I put two and two together and broke one of the biggest rules of ILD; I told LilPrince my real name. Like the next day, Daddy_Phil demanded I speak with him privately online. That is when I was sworn to secrecy. It is also when he told me that my parents and Grandparents already knew about all this and that they’d talked at length.
So like, it was Grandfather that found out first about ILD.com due to my own stupidity. I’d left a scrap of paper with the website address written on it in my pants which ended up in the wash. He actually was all for it but then Grandmother, found out because she found it on her computer because I hadn’t had time to clean the history off of it. She spoke with Grandfather who told her he was already looking into it. But Grandmother then told my mother, who played dumb with my grandparents as she already knew about ILD and in turn talked my father who also already knew and after a whole lot of talking everyone sat me down and we five talked. So now, everyone is completely cool with ILD.com, with me visiting it, with Joey and his folks and all that stuff that goes along with it.
Now I want to tell you about my sweetheart. Jacquelyn is my age and lives down in Ohio with her minister father and mother and their seven devils… uh… I mean sons, who all hate my guts. We met them on our way from California to Maine. They had taken us into their home for the night when Jacquelyn’s father, Pastor Doleshire, had heard that, for most of the trip, we had been sleeping in our car and insisted on having us stay the night with his family. It was at their house that I was first reintroduced to life in diapers and for the remainder of our journey I was kept in diapers so that I wouldn’t keep stinking up the backseat of our car with my pee. I didn’t find out until later that the diapers had been Jacquelyn’s mother’s idea and man did Jacquelyn like that idea! She is just gaga over boys in diapers, but only I know that about her. She came right out one day on the phone and told me so and I was knocked for a loop. I’m the one that got her involved with ILD.com after she confessed that she liked boys in diapers, and she loves it! No one at ILD.com knows her real name except for me and of course Mommy_Beth and Daddy_Phil. Oh yeah, LilPrince, uh, I mean Joey knows to, but only because he is their son and my best friend. Everyone online knows her as Roo. I’m the one that picked that screen name for her. You see Jacquelyn loves kangaroos and I wanted her screen name to be Jackie_Legs like from that movie ‘Kangaroo Jack’, but she didn’t like it because she doesn’t like being called Jackie. I then suggested ‘Roo’ after the little kangaroo friend of ‘Winnie the Pooh’. Jacquelyn and Stacks have become best friends online which is sometimes good and sometimes bad because they talk about me constantly. They say they don’t but I know they do because Jacquelyn knows stuff about me that I didn’t tell her. Despite the distance between us, Jacquelyn and I are now going steady and plan to get together again this summer when my family and I go down to visit once school is out. That is when my parents are taking me and Joey to California so that I can compete in the Teen Surfing Competition. I tried to get Chris’s parents to let Chris come too, but because of all his allergies and other problems they don’t think it is a good idea.