So…seems a little egotistical to make a “yaaay me” thread, but what the hell, I’m a little proud of myself.
I don’t tend to make new years resolutions or promises or whatnot but I did this time for a special reason. I need to become a better me, physically and mentally, and I wanna do it in time for the Rochester Erotic Arts Festival so I can look a little extra sexy in my bondage fairy outfit while Jess parades me around on a leash :P. (Yeah, I’m weird, so sue me XD )
Anyway. Thanks to Jess, mentally I’m starting to become a bit better. Vitamin D3 seems to be helping quite a bit with that, so I’m probably going to buy more of that and make it a regular regimen. I want to get to the point where I’m not cutting myself on a weekly basis, where I’m not terrified of leaving my own house, where suicide isn’t a daily contemplation. I want to get to the point where a panic attack doesn’t make me crippled for days, and I’m not failing college because of it (I am failing college now, but I’ve accepted that, and want to work my way to the point where that’s not an issue in the future). I know I need help, I know that the life I’m living right now is a horrible, very self destructive one, and I’m doing my best to find help to learn how to handle the stresses of life and become a more successful me.
Physically however, that’s on me and no one else.
So…regardless of whether it’s a placebo effect or not (and the placebo effect can have tremendous results on people mind you), the Vitamin D3 is helping address many of my self motivation and depression issues so much so that I’ve been able to start an exercise routine.
It’s only been two days but I don’t feel sickeningly awful like I normally do after exercising. In fact, I feel rejuvenated.
I’ve started with a 15 minute run on the exercise bike I have (which has all the bells and whistles, timers, courses, resistance settings, etc), twice daily. And I’ve made a promise to not only do that every day, but to increase it by 30 seconds every day, up to 20-25 minutes twice daily.
Yesterday I managed to do 8.4 miles. And today I did 9.3. And I’m feeling really, really good about this.
Onto (hopefully) a better future filled with corsets, collars, fairies and earthy foods! Wish me luck guys!