Re: A lecture I had today!
This topic is complex enough that I think, often, the persons involved have no idea what they’re even talking about.
The hyper-sexualization, or any sexualization of young girls is clearly wrong. However, nudity is not inherently sexual, that’s some crazy bullshit idea that spawned from the Victorian era. In warmer climates in millenia past, children would go sans clothes (because they would just ruin them) until they became an a youth. In the middle-ages, they’d just wear a big shirt with a belt tied around the middle. Clothes that are meant to provoke a sexual response are absolutely inappropriate though. Messages that provoke sexual connotations are equally reprehensible. What bothers me more than clothes is that pagent moms and dance moms are trying to make their children sexually appealing, to make them look older. That’s fucked up.
This is an entirely different issue, however, than infantilizing of adult women. Exactly how are grown women infantliized? If we me diminishing the appearance of secondary sex characteristics, I agree. A healthy bosom, pubic hair, hips, etc. are what makes a woman sexually exciting. The flat-chested, no hips, shaven model that women adore is very different from the ideal woman that most men describe in surveys. Women do not know what’s sexually exciting about women because, like men, most are straight. So they take the media’s word that flat lines are better. The media cannot overcome thousands of years of sexual programming, however, so most men still prefer curves and busts regardless of what the media tells us to like. Ironically, women are making themselves less sexually attractive to most men by trying to conform to the model standard because they believe in media and not nature.
Now, a woman with secondary sex characteristics wearing a diaper, holding a rattle, is not, in my opinion, infantilized at all. The sexual interest is in her body. The atmosphere promoting sexuality is a fetishism like any other fetish. Fetishism comes in flavors: childhood love (diapers, pacifiers, rattles), childhood punishment (switches, paddles, restraints, spanking), childhood tactile interest (rubber, leather, etc), watersports, etc.
I noticed something in common with all fetishes recently - I expect all derive from our first memorable experiences with sexual pleasure before we attained puberty. Consider - spanking occurs on sensitive genital errors, arousal is quite possible even for a kid. Diapers, rubbing against us, may form incorrect sexual attachments. All the urophiles out there usually remark how they “discovered” their interest after a major holding episode as kids. Rubber, latex, etc. was probably the first noticeable object that rubbed up against the junk of people who developed that interest. The difference, of course, is that pre-pubescence, there is no drive. That makes pre-puberty sexual stimulation feel safe - it lacks the success/failure anxiety of real coitus (because, on a biological level, coitus that does not end in pregnancy is failure). So, our anxiety ridden minds seek a way to feel that sexual release we had as children without the mental knowledge of the failure of coitus. Of course, this can never occur, because, post-puberty, we are always aware of whether we’re really having sex or not. I’ve begun to realize that fetishism is like chasing the dragon. You can never attain that first experience again. Wearing diapers will never thrill me again like it did when I was ten.
But, all that considered, fetishism -isn’t- infantlizing us if it’s added to real adult sexual relationships. It simply diminishes anxiety and helps us perform. It it ends in pregnancy, there is not necessarily a biological flaw inherent in fetishism. The diminished anxiety means we can engage in sex more frequently. However, if fetishism replaces our desire for sex or comes with physical damage, then it is a flaw. It’s no different that having a drink to work up the courage to sex, or wanting it to occur in a safe place. Fetishism, in its positive form, is just a method of coping with sexual anxiety.
TL; DR Making kids look grown-up when they’re not is wrong. Making woman look physically like kids (flat, shaven, etc.) is wrong. Dressing up a clearly adult woman in, from a social perspective “childish,” clothing isn’t fooling anybody and, if it makes both partners more comfortable, why not?
Anyone have any thoughts on that?