My parents went on vacation for about a week, leaving me with the house to myself. It’s a pretty big house, and it got lonely. I had my boyfriend come up and stay with me for the weekend. We’re both pretty into the ABDL thing. He’s been part of the general community a lot longer than me, and he’s a bit more in tune with what he likes in terms of that.
We decided on going to the grocery store to pick up some things for when my parents would get back. I’m not always very keen on dressing myself appropriately, so I ended up with some low-rise jeans and one of my regular hoodies. Of course, he was adamant on putting me in a bambino. I don’t really mind going out in public padded and a part of me enjoys it, so it’s not that big of a deal. How I was dressed is though. I didn’t realise how much I’d be pulling my pants up and shirt down throughout the outing. Usually, I dress in an oversized hoodie and higher rise jeans in this sort of situation. I didn’t think much of it. It’s a small grocery store that I don’t really frequent, and rarely is it busy.
We get into the store and instantly he starts to tease me a bit. I’m feeling really self-conscious. He jokingly pulls up my shirt a bit. I pull it back down. We only have a few things to get, but I’m already ready to leave. This process repeats a bit. He eventually gets to a point where he grabs my hand tightlly and tells me to stop pulling at my hoodie and not to make a scene. I’m suddenly feeling a bit powerless. I’m holding groceries and he’s holding my other hand so I can’t control the situation. I let it go, go about my business until we’re passing by this older woman and suddenly he pulls up my shirt, so that it’s VERY obvious I’m wearing. I turn bright red, pull my hand away and walk away from him, furious. He just laughs it off. I want to murder him. He eventually catches up to me and says that some people definitely saw but at best she was relieved that she’s not the only one who has to wear. I let things slide, go pay for my groceries, completely paranoid and just get out of there as soon as possible. I haven’t gone to that grocery store since.
I have a very odd dynamic with my boyfriend. He likes to embarrass me enough that my cheeks turn flaming red, especially in public. Sometimes he talks to me like a child. I recently asked him why he does that; talks to me like a five year old. He didn’t really answer, asked what I meant and then asked if it’s a bad thing and if I don’t like it. He’s ‘punished’ me before, the way you would a kid. It would be fine if it were just a role-play but sometimes I feel like it overlaps into our serious life.
I guess the moral of the story. Never dressing like that again around him
Yep. Sounds like your boyfriend views the dynamic the way my wife and I do - there is no “roleplay” - it’s how we live. She is my loving wife AND my babygirl, and I am her loving husband AND her Daddy. Generally speaking, though, we have boundaries regarding public displays. As much as I have a kink for humiliation, I know that publicly humiliating her with things like “diaper checks” and the like would be hurtful, so I limit myself to subtle things like pats on the bottom while we’re out, just to remind her of what she’s wearing and see her cheeks blush a bit…
You need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend about boundaries. I would be extremely humiliated if my significant other showed off if I were wearing, not that I have a significant other or even had very many chances to wear in the past year.
You should have a safe word. Some people are into humiliation, but there needs to be a way to back out of it that is separate from the play aspects of it.
I suggest either “safe word” or colors - red, yellow, green. Red means “stop right now,” yellow means “don’t go any further,” and green means “I really like this - more please” (or whatever you agree on before).
Yeah. It is a lot like that. We’ve had that dynamic pretty much from the second weekend we spent together. It’s not your traditional roleplay, but rather goes off on instinct, and how either of us feel in the moment. I enjoy the small humiliation bits that make me blush and he definitely enjoys getting that reaction from me as well.
Coincidentally, we had a very intimate and serious conversation yesterday about trust, and it left the air a bit more open for discussion and I ended up admitting to him that our trip actually bothered me. His response surprised me. He told me that he hadn’t actually let anyone see me. He was simply testing our boundaries in a bit of a twisted way, and despite the initial anger, in the end I seemed fine with it. It does make sense, because I hadn’t been very vocal about it. I was more focused on the adrenaline rush and I had said I sort of enjoyed it, although in my head I was only thinking of the risks of the situation rather than actual embarrassment.
Being honest and confronting him ended up being really difficult but fully worth it in the end. I don’t usually explicitly tell him what is okay and what isn’t, so he does often push the limits to see what I actually like, and then later on I’ll give him actual feedback. It’s worked in most scenarios, and resulted in a very satisfying fetish relationship, but I suppose this is one of the scenarios where it went too far. Writing this post enabled me to push myself to talk about it, so I really appreciate your responses.
If you’re going to go all-in like this, beyond the negotiated scenes and stuff, communication is a MUST. You can’t hold anything back, or a lot of damage can get done in a hell of a hurry.
